Couple Bikes Near ISIS Territory - Gets Killed

Unfortunately, this is not satire...

A young American couple who thought that "Evil is a make-believe concept we’ve invented to deal with the complexities of fellow humans holding values and beliefs and perspectives different than our own," quit their jobs to bike across central Asia.




This idealistic young American couple was killed in an Islamic State-claimed terrorist attack last month while cycling in Tajikistan.

Jay Austin and Lauren Geoghegan, last year quit their office jobs in Washington, DC, to embark on the journey. Austin, a vegan who worked for the US Department of Housing and Urban Development, and Geoghegan, a vegetarian who worked in the Georgetown University admissions office, decided that they’re were wasting their lives working.

“I’ve grown tired of spending the best hours of my day in front of a glowing rectangle, of coloring the best years of my life in swaths of grey and beige,” Austin wrote on his blog before he quit. “I’ve missed too many sunsets while my back was turned. Too many thunderstorms went unwatched, too many gentle breezes unnoticed.”

The couple documented their year-long journey on ​Instagram and on a ​joint blog. As The New York Times ​put it, they shared “the openheartedness they wanted to embody and the acts of kindness reciprocated by strangers.”

“You read the papers and you’re led to believe that the world is a big, scary place,” Austin wrote.

“People, the narrative goes, are not to be trusted. People are bad. People are evil.”

“I don’t buy it,” he continued. “Evil is a make-believe concept we’ve invented to deal with the complexities of fellow humans holding values and beliefs and perspectives different than our own… By and large, humans are kind. Self-interested sometimes, myopic sometimes, but kind. Generous and wonderful and kind.”

However, Austin and Geoghegan’s dream trip came to a tragic and gruesome end when they got to Tajikistan, a country with a known terrorist presence. They were riding their bikes through the country on July 29 when a car rammed them, ​​according to CBS News. Five men got out of the car and stabbed the couple to death.

ISIS posted a photo after killing the American liberals



 

Vegan? They were asking for it.
 

Ivan the Stakhanovets

Vegan? They were asking for it.
Vegans live longer. You may laugh at one now, but then he/she/it will come to your grave and eat all the flowers.

Unless he or he/she/it goes biking in Central Asia.
 

If they were to survive, they'd be in DC now campaigning for open borders because evil does not exist and was invented to demonize those with different beliefs.
 

Cows are vegans. How long do cows live?
 

Saint Pancakes or Saints Pancake? What is the proper honorific?
 

I blame Trump.
 

Apparently, even bicycle safety helmets have their limitations.
 

Commissarka Pinkie

I blame Trump.
Well said. It is a well known fact that Trump has escalated anti-American sentiments around the world, particularly in Canada, so this is a direct result of that even though it happened in Bumfuckistan. That and the failure of "common sense" knife control laws in that shithole.
 

$.$. Halliburton

Cows are vegans. How long do cows live?
yeah, yeah, bla, bla, bla. But they don't exercise, do they? Like, say, biking crisscross Islamistan.
 

Obviously they were suffering from Baizuo Syndrome. Have any studies been done to pinpoint the cause of this disease? We need to pour masses of kapitalist tax dollars into a study and look decades for a cure.

A disease that can make people be stupid beyond the vanishing point of stupid is a danger to society. Could it have been their environment growing up? Did they live and grow up in Toon Town?




We need studies (money), studies (monies) and MORE studies (monies) to find out.
 

Impossible, this must be fake news! Didn't ISIS notice the COEXIST sticker on the back of their bicycles?
 

Most Equal Komrads,

I must denounce these two Prog Posers. Their conspicuous and capricious use of valuable resources is their downfall. Travel, most likely involving jet aircraft, to go from the Hub of Next Tuesday ™ (Washington DC) to the People’s Republics of Central Asia is a profligate waste of precious hydrocarbons. Think of their contribution to Global Climate Change. The not so clever cover of riding bicycles once their wasteful travel was complete only magnifies their guilt. Posers.

If they had truly wanted to make their point about the nonexistent properties of evil, they could have gotten on their bicycles and pedaled to Chicagostan or Detroitstan. I do have to applaud them for using reason and Party approved slogans to shift the blame for “evil” from the persons who commit the acts to the person who labels it “evil”. They could have saved a great quantity of Gaia’s jet fuel if they had been true Progs.

Swimming in the Current Truth ™,

Red Salmon
 

Couldn't they pedal through the mostest equalest Democratic Socialistan? oh, wait ...


 

Vegans consider themselves so moral that they will not even eat honey, as it capitalizes on the labor of bees, nor milk as it is provided by cows...

So why do they then eat vegetables that they have not picked themselves?

They eat vegetables that have been picked by poor, migrant children under slave-labor like conditions.
 

Evil Smiley

Vegans consider themselves so moral that they will not even eat honey, as it capitalizes on the labor of bees, nor milk as it is provided by cows...

So why do they then eat vegetables that they have not picked themselves?

They eat vegetables that have been picked by poor, migrant children under slave-labor like conditions.
I would write a song about the poor vegetables and flowers that open their hopeful leaves and faces to the sun only to be plucked by predatory humans. Yes, I would do that, but I am too busy nibbling at my catnip squirrel mouse.
 

RedDiaperette

Evil Smiley

Vegans consider themselves so moral that they will not even eat honey, as it capitalizes on the labor of bees, nor milk as it is provided by cows...

So why do they then eat vegetables that they have not picked themselves?

They eat vegetables that have been picked by poor, migrant children under slave-labor like conditions.
I would write a song about the poor vegetables and flowers that open their hopeful leaves and faces to the sun only to be plucked by predatory humans. Yes, I would do that, but I am too busy nibbling at my catnip squirrel mouse.

I appreciate the distinction and korrektion.

CC
 

Red Square

Vegans live longer. You may laugh at one now, but then he/she/it will come to your grave and eat all the flowers.

If you call that living. Vegans spend considerably more time eating or planning eating than omnivores (the rest of us). They not only have to research what it is they are about to consume to validate that it has never passed near any sort of contamination of the animal Kingdom during growth and transport (I wonder how they feel about fertilizer?), but need to consume vastly more of it to get the necessary nutrients. This is not pleasurable eating, but just chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing. Those that don't tend to suffer from deficiency diseases and wind up either giving up veganism or dying.

Bottom line, vegans are consumed, so to speak, with eating. It rules their lives rather than the other way around. While those that do it right might live longer statistically, it must be a lonely, defensive lifestyle.

Don't even get me started on "raw food" advocates.

- SK
 

Chief Designer

... Bottom line, vegans are consumed, so to speak, with eating. It rules their lives rather than the other way around. While those that do it right might live longer statistically, it must be a lonely, defensive lifestyle ...
True...

But then, having chewed and chewed and chewed, they can straddle a bike

(uh, how about that saddle? is it, Himmelherrgott, leather? Allah (PBUH) forbid - extra haram leather?? or simply - wait for it - made of kkkapitalistik, one word, plastics? but I appear to digress),

so - straddle a bike, and pedal, pedal, pedal, off into the sunset..... and so the circle closes.
 

RedDiaperette

... but I am too busy nibbling at my catnip squirrel mouse ...
Komrades, this is pure genius!

... nibbling at my catnip mouse ...
(the gaffe, purged here - let's generously overlook it, ja?)

RedD nibbles at catnip (vegan!), yet at the same time noshes on a mouse (carnigobbler!).


Is our headwise steeled Komradette Purrr the Schrödinger 2.0 ?





 

Oh, dearest Genosse, please do not mention the poor feline so horribly tormented (and not tormented but still also tormented) by Comrade Schrödinger. Contemplation of such causes my eyes to weep ... and my claws to extrude.
 

The Schrödinger predicament....

As the great philosopher Jimmy Buffet once said,

"Indecision may or may not be my problem."
 

RedDiaperette

Oh, dearest Genosse, please do not mention the poor feline so horribly tormented (and not tormented but still also tormented) by Comrade Schrödinger ...
ach ja?
"poor feline tormented" (and then off, and then on, and then off) by that wacko Schrödinger.
A physiotheorist - phew!, and - phew! phew!, an Österreicher to boot.

I will tell you what I haff did right before even realizing your moving plea, dear Komradette.
I haff go stright to Mystery No.1 and I haff schrödingered it, that's what I haff did.

Now you go (dare I say, march, march, march) Mystery 1, you judge.