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Cry “Lawsuit!” and Let Slip the Progs that Whore!

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Moving with lightning speed in response to the Gulf Oil Spill Crisis, The Obama Administration has dispatched Minister of Political Prosecution Eric Holder to the Gulf Coast along with a cavalcade of assistant prosecutors. “They will not rest until British Petroleum has been litigated into submission,” intoned Holder. “We expect to be arresting senior BP officials by the busload, particularly the ones currently directing the efforts to close off this leak. They will feel the full force of our righteous wrath.”

Prosecutors and investigators have boarded high-speed launches at Pas Christian and are currently headed for the site of the disaster, armed with writs, warrants and full fact-finding credentials. The Coast Guard has been instructed to cooperate fully in this vital operation, diverting ships and manpower as ordered by the MoPP.

“We don't have time to waste here,” explained Senior Assistant Deputy Adjutant Special Secretary William Shyster, “the most important thing that can possibly be done at this point in the crisis is to destroy BP's credibility with the public.” SADASS Shyster went on to detail the plan of attack to solve the disaster, noting that simultaneously demonizing the company in the public arena while driving down BP stock prices through fears of billion-dollar settlements should leave the North American Operations sector of BP ripe for nationalization by the end of the year. “Of course, we'd like to nationalize the whole thing,” admitted Shyster, “but that might send the wrong message to friendly nations like China and Venezuela. We don't want to scare them away from drilling for oil in the Gulf.”
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As the Litigation Task Force surged across the Gulf, on shore MoPP Holder was clearly in high spirits as he dispatched his legal corpse to storm the offices of BP and of Louisiana Governor and habitual Republican Bobby Jindal. At his cry of “Once more to the bench, dear friends, once more! We'll plug their holes with our legal briefs!” they raised a ragged cheer and pelted across Jackson Square for a bracing cup of Café du Monde and a few beignets before laying siege to the enemy. Following the extended coffee break it was discovered that the state capital is in fact not in New Orleans, which prompted a massive effort to pinpoint the location of the state government.

The whereabouts of the state government is a key element to the Administration's strategy. “I have here a series of forms and permits that must be filled out, filed, subjected to committee meetings, and approved by the President,” said MoPP Holder. “We cannot have state governments responding to disasters on their own, or taking any actions without our approval.” He went on to note that he “thoroughly disapproved” of governor Jindal's presumption of authority over the Louisiana coastline. “He is not reacting in a reasonable fashion. His constant demands that we waive environmental regulations concerning building these ‘sand berms' are irresponsible. We must hold hearings and consult experts from the motion picture industry to determine what the short-term impact of these temporary structures might be.”

President Obama took a moment as he walked from the cart to the green to express his full confidence in the Ministry of Political Prosecution's ability to resolve the crisis in the Gulf. “This is not the time for finger-pointing. We will not rest until we have found and prosecuted the people responsible for this blight on my Administration.” He adjusted his putting gloves with a manly gesture that showed both his determination and compassion before he continued. “We have been on this situation since day one, and it was only due to me holding myself in a state of cat-like readiness to deal with any emergency that has allowed us to dispatch these brave legal teams a mere five weeks after the explosion.”

Governor Jindal was not reached for comment, as what he has to say on the issue does not matter.

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Very good Comrade!


Let this be a lesson to them! Next time they need to give even more
money to Papa Obama.

Granted, as politicians go, he got the most money ever from BP.

But, is that all they could afford to give?

Really?

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The Dear Leader is most correct in that we must not fail to exploit emergancy chance to nationalize oil industry! We must show our close friend and mentor Chavez that we too can destroy a once functional free market Republic!

When Oil Spill arise to the public it became the unwanted and unexpected nightmare of a perfect thunder storm to fight for. BP colony and the power of Obama administration plus the help of the environmental organization are at high power to rampantly close the destruction of the spill. Oil Spill battle has gone a long journey and at the present moments still striving to watch over the spill and the ocean mass destruction. Lawsuit has been brought in this matter. Speaking of lawsuit another lawsuit case is swirling to the web. The area of Charlottesville, Virginia is being sued by the American Civil Liberties Union. The suit has been brought because of a panhandling ban instituted by the city. The American Civil Liberties Union, and the displaced guys the group is representing, claims the ban abridges freedom of speech. I found this here: Lawsuit filed by ACLU over Charlottesville panhandling ban


 
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