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Cuba claims Trump's election caused death of Fidel Castro

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HAVANA - In the hours following the death of Fidel Castro, the Cuban government released an official statement blaming U.S. president-elect Trump for Castro's demise. "The direct cause of the death of the celebrated leader of Cuban communist revolution was the "unthinkable election of the far-right capitalist reactionary criminal oligarch Donald J. Trump," the statement says.

On the night of the U.S. presidential election when Trump was pronounced the victor, the Cuban revolutionary icon was grief-stricken. According to witnesses, a solitary tear ran down the legendary hero's face as he chanted, "racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic," "love trumps hate," and "not my president" before he retired to his humble quarters where he refused to eat, sleep, or socialize. The Cuban communist leader who defied the U.S. for almost 50 years would never again leave his bedroom alive.

According to the official release and multiple family members, "the election of a deplorable nationalist figure as anti-communist as Donald Trump was more devastating than Fidel's kind and gentle soul could bare.” The election results, combined with the former Cuban president's age and already diminishing health, served as the fatal blow that ended the life of the famed communist hero.

Shortly following the news of the passing of such a notable icon of international revolutionary struggle, Castro's surviving relatives declared that Fidel's final wishes were that the United States hold an official recount of the presidential votes for “the betterment and security of all the peaceful and good people of the world."



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Another theory suggests the CIA did it, as pointed out by Comrade Sovremennyy in People's Headlines:

After years of trial and error, CIA finally succeeds with the "waiting it out" technique on Fidel Castro



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Castro died on Pinochet's birthday
#KarmaIsABitch


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In other news...

Kill A Commie for Mommy
by Johnny Ramone


I just found this on Amazon -

Kill A Commie For Mommy (As Worn By Johnny Ramone of The Ramones) T-shirt

[img]/images/various_uploads/Kill_a_commie_for_mommy.jpg[/img]

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[img]/images/various_uploads/Castro_Dead_Good_Communist.jpg[/img]


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Yeah, I blew my nose just moments before Castro died. It's called the "butterfly effect."
I claim credit for Castro's death! Um, do I get a medal? A rice cooker? Anything?

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Yes, with tears in my eyes I had to report that our friend and comrade, Fidel Castro, has died of a broken heart. I curse Donald Trump, the king pin and crown jewel of capitalism!

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Pamalinsky wrote:Yeah, I blew my nose just moments before Castro died. It's called the "butterfly effect."
I claim credit for Castro's death! [highlight=#ffff00]Um, do I get a medal? A rice cooker? Anything?[/highlight]

You get a People's Bread Maker. It's a wood bowl, wood spoon, wood bread pan, and a coal-fired oven. Also, you're expected down at the People's Bread Kitchen No. 74 in two weeks time. And bring your standard-issue shovel, you'll need it to feed the oven. If you see any rats or bugs in the flour, do not talk. The last guy that did got tossed in an oven.

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Chedoh wrote:Yes, with tears in my eyes I had to report that our friend and comrade, Fidel Castro, has died of a broken heart. I curse Donald Trump, the king pin and crown jewel of capitalism!


Drat that Donald Trump and his WINNING.

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... uh, could it have been a combination ― of CIA ("waiting out"!), TRUMP (tremendous!), Global Warmin' (catastrophic!) and Pamalinsky (achoo!) ?

. . . . . . . oh yep, and Putout (craptified Fidel!) plus Craptek & FineReport (nutified Comrade C!) ?


P.S. yeah, indeed, it always seemed to me, Pammie is kinda rococoish butterfly.

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Evil Smiley wrote:
Castro_News_Fake_Real.jpg
Congratulations to Evil Smiley - this was a great concept. I promoted his image on FB and Twitter, and it caused quite a stir.

As of this moment on Facebook it has 5,033 shares and 285,177 people reached.

Look at the retweets below, and our Twitter followers still aren't done sharing:

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">The difference between fake news and real news <a href="https://t.co/fUFLulCrtJ">https://t.co/fUFLulCrtJ</a><a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/fakenews?sr ... akenews</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/fakenewssit ... ites</a><a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/castrodeath ... rodeath</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/FidelCastro ... lCastro</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/fidelcastro ... oisdead</a> <a href="https://t.co/pfDVuvwsd6">pic.twitter.co ... </p>&mdash; The People's Cube (@ThePeoplesCube) <a href=" 26, 2016</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

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Fearless leader Fidel fight capitalist pig dogs all life, die on Black Friday.

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Comrade Chernobyl wrote:Fearless leader Fidel fight capitalist pig dogs all life, die on Black Friday.
Security footage at Wal-Mart reveals Fidel's final moments.

[img]/images/Castro_Walmart_Black_Friday.jpg[/img]

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Red Square wrote:Castro died on Pinochet's birthday _#KarmaIsABitch
si, korrekto ― Camarada Rojo Cuadrado y Plaza :

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_( A. D. 1971 )
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