This morning it was announced by the DNC that Dear Leader's speech to the masses yearning for his incite and wisdom will be moved to an inside venue.

This was done because there will be a 20% chance of lightning storms occurring outside during His triumphant appearance. Far to risky to use the stadium.

Jay Carney informed the press that this move was strictly a precaution, and denied rumors undoubtedly spread by Republican operatives that the new site has 50,000 less seats to fill.

Not that attendance has been a problem to the DNC .... or anything like that.
We all know that everything The Party does is an overwhelming success.

The media will make sure of that.

Isn't it obvious. Dick Cheney is obviously fiddling with the weather machine again. First he throws Dear Leader a curve ball by making it it look like Hurricane Issac will strike Tampa, then turns it towards New Orleans. Dear Leader is unable to hurry back before Romney Bu$hHitler beats him to New Orleans for a disingenuous photo op. Does Dick Cheney's trickery no no bounds?

Well Dear Leader will not be fooled again. Knowing as he does that Tricky Dick will stop at nothing to restore Halliburton to control of the WH, he knows he'd best stay indoors.

No, I'm not suggesting Dear Leader is afraid. He just hasn't found the secret bunker yet, so that he may send SEAL Team 6 and some drones to take it out, led by him personally, of course. Rethuglikkkans are trickier than the Taliban.

And then Dear Leader spake unto the smaller & smaller multitudes -
"let there be rain and behold there was rain."

Sorry for the cross post, but...

But even then , our Dear Leader isn't safe.........

If a lightning strike on the building were to take out his teleprompters ?
Well, I'll just leave the results up to your own imagination.

As for myself, it would be along the lines of: " Um......er........ Change!....... ah.......hummm"

I don't understand. How is it that Obama can kill bin Laden and land a spaceship on Mars and slow the rise of the oceans and heal the planet, but he can't stop it from raining?

Anyone?

Anyone at all?

And according to Tiny Dancer Rahm Emanuel, when Dear Leader arrives the rain stops and the sun comes out!

Obviously, this is why He is the President, while we are mere lowly proles and serfs - ' though progs all. Dear Leader lives in several separate realities, all at once. Obama 3:16, you know.

Democratic National Convention Schedule

4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony – sponsored by CNN
4:05 PM – Singing of "God Damn America " led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama

4:15 PM – Ceremonial 'I hate America' led by Michelle Obama
4:30 PM – Tips on “How to keep your man trustworthy & true to you while you travel the world” – Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM –Al Sharpton / Jesse Jackson seminar “How to have a successful career without having a job.”

5:00 PM – “Great Vacations I've Taken on the Taxpayer's Dime Travel Log” - Michelle Obama
5:30 PM – Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite
5:45 PM – Tribute to All 57 States – Nancy Pelosi

6:00 PM – Sen. Harry Reid - 90-minute speech expressing the Democrat's appreciation of the Occupy Wall Streetmovement, and George Soros for sparing no expense, for all that they have accomplished to unify the country, improve employment and to boost the economy.

8:30 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
9:00 PM – “Bias in Media – How we can make it work for you” Tutorial – sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times

9:15 PM – Tribute Film to Brave Freedom Fighters incarcerated at GITMO – Michael Moore
9:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar - Charlie Rangel
10:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners and Bible readers
,
10:30 PM – Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ , & Afghanistan
11:00 PM – Obama Energy Plan Symposium / Tire Gauge Demonstration / You too can get rich with Green Investment bankruptcies – Al Gore
11:15 PM – Free Gov. Blagovich rally

11:30 PM – Obama Accepts Oscar, Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish – Obama Presiding
12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher and Chris “He sends a thrill up my leg” Matthews

12:01 AM – Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior
12:05 AM – Celestial Choirs Sing
3:00 AM – Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech

Prog Off: Received anonymously. I didn't write this.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:I don't understand. How is it that Obama can kill bin Laden and land a spaceship on Mars and slow the rise of the oceans and heal the planet, but he can't stop it from raining?

Anyone?

Anyone at all?

Commisarka Pinkie, you are stumbling very close to thought crime! Ear Leader can stop it from raining, but he is so busy with weighty matters like his next tee time, his next vacation, whether Michelle's outfit makes her ass look fat or Michelle's ass makes the outfit look fat. Teh Won, while being sent by G-d (according to Party approved calendar), is only human, except when he is being G-d, can do only so many things at the same time. So what if it rains on the peasants during his speech? So what if the lying racists in the Rethuglikkkan Party claim the move is due to a lack of properly worshipful drinkers of Koolaid proles? We, the faithful know that Il Douche could control the weather if only he wasn't so busy ruining planning the economy, gutting maintaining work requirements for welfare, and making healthcare unavailable affordable and inferior free.

Lightning to Obama, like Kryptonite to Superman, seems to be Obama's one and only weakness, peace be upon him. This is perhaps why the DNC has re-instituted God into their platform. Better safe than sorry when dealing with lightning wielding deities. The seas rising he can handle, lightning, not so much. In fact, lets move this whole thing indoors and check those surge suppressors.

This is easy, move the show back to the stadium, fill the Empty Seats (not the one at the podium) with these guys...Sandra Fluke can do the inflating in 20 minutes tops for all of them...

The Chinese can crank out 50,000 of these in an afternoon, and we can bill it to the evil rich Rethugglikans who will be paying the bill anyway.

I have received in secret Morse code that our Dear Leader was actually worried that the 1000 inch HD ObamaTron dictation tool would be destroyed by humidity and stray lightning. What a smart leader of the people.

Now it crossed my mind. Obama gave himself grade Incomplete in economy. Apart that he was generous to himself because everybody is.

Of all advices given to newly hired faculty, only one stands above all: "Never. Ever. Give an Incomplete grade. For no reason." It is a curse that can make professor's life very miserable. It automatically becomes F after one year, but before it does, the student has the professor at his own whims. The professor might be at the other side of the country when the student feels like it.

So, what grade does Obama get on Economy again? Not I for Incomplete.

I don't understand. How is it that Obama can kill bin Laden and land a spaceship on Mars and slow the rise of the oceans and heal the planet, but he can't stop it from raining?

Anyone?

Anyone at all?

Because Bush. And global climate change, because of Bush.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:I don't understand. How is it that Obama can kill bin Laden and land a spaceship on Mars and slow the rise of the oceans and heal the planet, but he can't stop it from raining?

Anyone?

Anyone at all?

Damn it Pinkie...

You missed your regular six month Jifi-Lobo, didn't you?

You know damned well you are not even allowed to THINK of such questions, much less blurt them out!

In you go...

comrade crash&burn wrote:

Democratic National Convention Schedule

4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony – sponsored by CNN
4:05 PM – Singing of "God Damn America " led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama

4:15 PM – Ceremonial 'I hate America' led by Michelle Obama
4:30 PM – Tips on “How to keep your man trustworthy & true to you while you travel the world” – Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM –Al Sharpton / Jesse Jackson seminar “How to have a successful career without having a job.”

5:00 PM – “Great Vacations I've Taken on the Taxpayer's Dime Travel Log” - Michelle Obama
5:30 PM – Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite
5:45 PM – Tribute to All 57 States – Nancy Pelosi

6:00 PM – Sen. Harry Reid - 90-minute speech expressing the Democrat's appreciation of the Occupy Wall Streetmovement, and George Soros for sparing no expense, for all that they have accomplished to unify the country, improve employment and to boost the economy.

8:30 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
9:00 PM – “Bias in Media – How we can make it work for you” Tutorial – sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times

9:15 PM – Tribute Film to Brave Freedom Fighters incarcerated at GITMO – Michael Moore
9:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar - Charlie Rangel
10:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners and Bible readers
,
10:30 PM – Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ , & Afghanistan
11:00 PM – Obama Energy Plan Symposium / Tire Gauge Demonstration / You too can get rich with Green Investment bankruptcies – Al Gore
11:15 PM – Free Gov. Blagovich rally

11:30 PM – Obama Accepts Oscar, Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish – Obama Presiding
12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher and Chris “He sends a thrill up my leg” Matthews

12:01 AM – Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior
12:05 AM – Celestial Choirs Sing
3:00 AM – Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech

Prog Off: Received anonymously. I didn't write this.

Correction... that is 58 STATES!!! Dear Reader (AP&PBUH) said that they had visited 57 and had one more to go!

There are plenty of robots to go around.