Dear Leader's comments have been widely misunderstood which is why context is so important. As he gazed into the Halcyon Utopia of Next Tuesday from the impoverished labor camp south of the 38th Parallel, he couldn't help but imagine the benefits to his people of a second term. He saw an absolute dictatorship, a state controlled economy, and a personality cult in which a dictator is literally worshiped. He saw a state run education system where children are required to attend school at age two and are used to spy on their parents. Just think of the "fishy" and "hateful" comments that are nipped in the bud when parents go off to prison labor camps. Really, other than a lack of golf courses, what is there not to like about North Korea? Even the golf course shortage can be fixed by a visionary five year plan.

His "frank indictment" was not about North Korea, but about the stubborn lack of progress in the archaic United States of America. Too many citizens are still stuck back in the late 18th Century and hold to outdated (pre-FDR for crying out loud!) views of God given rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I personally don't know whether these views are laughably ignorant, or so vile that I need to wash hands after typing them out. But that's the problem. America is decades behind North Korea, and Dear Leader must be granted indefinite terms as president so that he bring his handicap down to 18 and bring America up to the progressive standard of North Korea where all are employed, are paid a reasonable working wage, and have free healthcare.

Dear Leader's secret musings with USSR also misunderstood.


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