Degrading right-wing extremism in America: a final solution

President Obama released a proposal to the masses on this glorious day that all right-wing, gun-toting extremist in this country that are obsessed with the Constitution and the Bill of Rights should henceforth be forced to wear a gold "R" on the front of their shirt.

"This will aid us in identifying any enemies of the state out there that wish to destroy the utopia that I, your Dear Leader, have been tirelessly and selflessly building for you since the first day I stepped into office," said the President. "The Mandatory Free Health Care™, Safer Gun-Free Streets™, state-approved eating habits, and our civilization as we know it are all threatened by these white racist animals. We as a nation must rise against those who oppose our children's future and us as a whole."

The President went on to describe special classes DHS agents will take that will allow them to make distinctions between law-abiding citizens and right-wing extremists who are just a big of a threat as ISIS. When wondering who may be an extremist, we are to picture people like Phil Robertson, anyone who owns an AR-15, and anyone with an NRA membership to name a few of the different kinds of threats.



This is the face of true tyranny, the unadulterated hate and racism that seeks to persecute and destroy all those who do not adhere to their fanatical religious beliefs.

Obama expressed further his resolve to destroy these fanatics. "Have no fear, America. The DHS and NSA are tirelessly looking through every single email from every single church email list and newsletter in a effort to root out and destroy this religious extremism. You can sleep easily knowing that we, the government, are protecting you from these blood thirsty barbarians," said president Obama.

The recent proposals made by the White House are believed to be a response to Phil Robertson's speech at the Conservative Activist Gathering where he was able to spew his hate-filled words on millions of unsuspecting Americans through the unfiltered channels of media.

The DHS published a press release almost immediately, stating that Robertson's uncensored words may have been disastrous to any young impressionable children who witnessed it because they are not wise enough to see through this kind of right-wing trickery and may have feelings of dissatisfaction with the government as a result.

They also asked that teachers and other childcare workers report any expression of unapproved feelings from children in their classes and daycares so they may be mercifully reeducated and their thoughts cleansed of any unauthorized ideas.
 

Chedoh

....The Mandatory Free Health Care ™ , Safer Gun Free Streets ™ , state approved eating habits, and our civilization as we know it are all threatened by these white racist animals. We as a nation must rise against those who oppose our children's future and us as a whole."....

I mean, komrade, that's pretty bad, but what's worse is that these white, racist, terrorist animals are going to offend muzlums and destroy the planet.
 

Don't think it could not happen here Comrades. Just last year there was this...


An abandoned bag which was blown up by bomb experts outside Development House, Nairobi following claims that it contained explosives. It was discovered that it contained a bible and two other books. (Photo: Collins Kweyu/Standard)
 

Gummipuppe

Chedoh

....The Mandatory Free Health Care ™ , Safer Gun Free Streets ™ , state approved eating habits, and our civilization as we know it are all threatened by these white racist animals. We as a nation must rise against those who oppose our children's future and us as a whole."....

I mean, komrade, that's pretty bad, but what's worse is that these white, racist, terrorist animals are going to offend muzlums and destroy the planet.
That's nothing compared to the horrors of being forced to be free, having to work for a living, and taking responsibility for your own life.
 

Dedhedvedev

That's nothing compared to the horrors of being forced to be free, having to work for a living, and taking responsibility for your own life.
People actually DO that????
 

RedDiaperette

Dedhedvedev

That's nothing compared to the horrors of being forced to be free, having to work for a living, and taking responsibility for your own life.

People actually DO that????

Yes, komrade RD, but not for much longer.
 

The yellow badge should make them feel really degraded. That's the "authorized feeling" we're talking about.



 

<off>

Why is the EBT or SNAP card made to look like Visa cards? So it's users are not degraded by an easily identifiable card...

<on>

By Lenin, that star will help us to round them all up! It also provides a convenient and visible aiming point.

How can they possibly shovel enough beets to meet quota if they are bitterly clinging to a bible in one hand?
 

Having grown up among extremist Lutherans, I now realize the evils of those subversive Ladies Aid conclaves - always serving unsanctioned foods at every gathering. I feel so violated.
 

I am astonished to hear that salvation by covered-dish is no longer solely attributed to Methodists. This extreme Christianity is getting out of control.
 

We will not even discuss the Catholic fish-fry conspiracy.
 

RedDiaperette

We will not even discuss the Catholic fish-fry conspiracy.

Something fishy goes on their "lent" Fridays.
 

Ivan the Stakhanovets

<off>

Why is the EBT or SNAP card made to look like Visa cards? So it's users are not degraded by an easily identifiable card...

<on>

By Lenin, that star will help us to round them all up! It also provides a convenient and visible aiming point.

How can they possibly shovel enough beets to meet quota if they are bitterly clinging to a bible in one hand?

These right-wing extremists will have to follow the lead of the Random Folks™ who wear their Holy Scriptures strapped to their bodies in order to free their hands for work.
 

Chedoh

They also asked that teachers and other childcare workers report any expression of unapproved feelings from children in their classes and daycares so they may be mercifully reeducated and their thoughts cleansed of any unauthorized ideas.



 

But wait Comrades! Isn't it true that Dear Leader is making people wear the Yellow R in order to protect them? That's what I was told! How could Dear Leader want to round up anyone, even the evil right wingers?
 

Red Square

The yellow badge should make them feel really degraded. That's the "authorized feeling" we're talking about.

Phil_Roberson_Assault_Bible_R.jpg
Yellow Badge, Schmellow Badge! This guy's got "the beard" and looks just like Mohammed al-ISISiri. Really, I just don't see what the problem is here.
 

If I were so required, I would humbly wear my "R" badge proudly for love of Dear Leader. And if I were required to round up wearers of such badges (for their own good, of course), I would also humbly do that proudly for love of Dear Leader, even if it meant rounding up myself. Or rounding up the numbers in the roster of those rounded up. Or something. (I am getting very confused again. I will give up trying to figure this out and I will instead await further orders.)
 

RedDiaperette

If I were so required, I would humbly wear my "R" badge proudly for love of Dear Leader. And if I were required to round up wearers of such badges (for their own good, of course), I would also humbly do that proudly for love of Dear Leader, even if it meant rounding up myself. Or rounding up the numbers in the roster of those rounded up. Or something. (I am getting very confused again. I will give up trying to figure this out and I will instead await further orders.)

Comrade, I don't think you know what it means to wear the badge. You need not to wear it since you went through education camp and passed the tests.
 

Hammer and Loupe

RedDiaperette

If I were so required, I would humbly wear my "R" badge proudly for love of Dear Leader. And if I were required to round up wearers of such badges (for their own good, of course), I would also humbly do that proudly for love of Dear Leader, even if it meant rounding up myself. Or rounding up the numbers in the roster of those rounded up. Or something. (I am getting very confused again. I will give up trying to figure this out and I will instead await further orders.)

Comrade, I don't think you know what it means to wear the badge. You need not to wear it since you went through education camp and passed the tests.
I did? Oh, good. They never tell us, do they? It is better so. But anyway, I was actually trying to set an example for those misguided souls kulaks who might object to wearing the badge.
 

RedDiaperette

I did? Oh, good. They never tell us, do they? It is better so. But anyway, I was actually trying to set an example for those misguided souls kulaks who might object to wearing the badge.

We have Ivan the Stakhanovets to set an example.
 

Ah yes comrades, it is rejuvenating to my progressive heart to see people properly and civilly fend off these right wing pigs! I was able to capture some of the work done by the DHS warning any of the law abiding citizens who may accidentally stumble into their store.




We will show them the meaning of tolerance!