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Disabled = Government Funded Phone Line

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Dear Comrades:

I wanted to tell you great news. Did you know that if you are disabled the government will provide you with a FREE™ telephone line (paid for by the evil REICHWING rich)? Here is the story of how I learned this most glorious news...

Someone I know lost their land based phone line due to a thunderstorm (obviously caused by global warming™/climate change™/global cooling™/melting polar ice caps™/dying polar bears™). The damaged portion was a major line going to a telephone substation. They have been out for days. Now, dear comrades, I must tell you that this is all the fault of the CAPITALIST company that owns these lines, including the storm itself. If this was all done by the government, well, we know how efficiently it would have been solved at a cost of $4 billion dollars to be fixed by 2020.

So, the company has been dragging their heals for days.
Image I think this is a bit much as they live in a metropolitan area.
Image This person is disabled, does not have a cell phone, and needs a phone line that works. Using someone else's cell phone, the individual contacted the glorious people's public service commission in the state. The public service commission told this person to just go to a competitor of the EVIL CAPITALIST company. Well, of course since the line itself is bad and likely the competitors use the same line, that does not help. But regardless, it is wonderful that the people's public service commission was willing to give advice which was totally useless.

However, when the people's public service commission learned that the caller was disabled, why, a number of gameshow style dings went off. The people's public service commission told this person that they would be awarded and were ENTITLED to a FREE phone line just for being disabled! Fellow Comrades, I cannot tell you how delighted I am that this person won a lifetime free phone line! Why isn't that just wonderful? And it's free too! Our great people's collective just provides these things for free!

But alas, this very misguided person told the people's public service commission that a free phone line would not be accepted. The person actually believed in PAYING for things! So, the public service commission bureaucrat said she was required to inform disabled people that they were entitled to a free phone line. What is the matter with this person, fellow comrades? We are supposed to depend on Dear Leader for everything and be good little progs. Why can't we just make the evil rich pay for the free phone line? In fact, why is it limited to just the disabled? Shouldn't a free phone line be a new HUMAN RIGHT™ ? Shouldn't we have this be a right because of the as ignorant lefties stupidly call it good and welfare clause™ of the Constitution? Let the rich pay for it!™ And don't just give people a free phone line. They need the absolute best smart phone possible with unlimited data transfer, top speed for watching movies on their phone (they're not doing anything else, afterall), unlimited NATIONAL AND INTERNATIONAL calling, and unlimited text messages, video chat, 4G service, television service over the phone, unlimited music downloads, an unlimited supply of micro secure digital cards to store all their stuff, and make sure the phone can project large 3D holograms in high resolution too! Cough it up, rich people. This is a new human right™ added to the People's Living Constitution.™

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Comrade Vlad Linen,

Like Lenin's Linen, you've covered it, but I just want to underscore your point by reminding all unthinking proles why it's so important for every prole to have a government-approved cell-phone:


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One can never know in advance when it's vitally important to receive a message from Fearless Leader.


--KOOK

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I want 4G and the data plan too. Cough it up, I'm a disabled veteran. None of "last months" technology either.

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Kook,
I couldn't help but notice your surroundings.
That is a very nice house behind you, is it not ?
And look..... a paved street [highlight=#ffffff]with sidewalks and a late model American car.[/highlight]
Finish this picture with someone who is apparently you casually conversing on a personal cell phone, while tossing a polished-off bottle of Stoli into user-friendly trash receptacles.

Stoli !

This reeks of CAPITALISM, tovarich !

Not even factory managers have this type of decadent lifestyle.

So, as a piece of advise to you, start readying your defense to explain
all of this to the Collective at your rapidly approaching show trail, " Comrade " !

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Comrade Vlad Linen wrote: The people's public service commission told this person that they would be awarded and were ENTITLED to a FREE phone line just for being disabled! Fellow Comrades, I cannot tell you how delighted I am that this person won a lifetime free phone line! Why isn't that just wonderful? And it's free too! Our great people's collective just provides these things for free!

And such exemplary service!

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Such confusion! Such corruption! My congress critter promised I would get a phone that comes with unlimited massages. Somehow that got twisted into messages. No one in Congress ever listens.

Col. Klink, my new aide, has not had much luck either.

Major Mistake is now the officer in charge "commode commandos" at the 82nd Airborne Division.
Last edited by General Confusion on 9/29/2011, 5:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason for editing this post: keyboard don't do no capital m.

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I have heard of the commode commandos. You do not want to be near the drop zone when they are on maneuvers.


 
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