'Duck Dynasty' Now Mandatory TV Viewing for Citizens

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'Duck Dynasty' Now Mandatory TV Viewing for Citizens

by Nomenklatura-climber » 12/21/2013, 6:23 pm

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Dear Comrades,

Citizens are advised that the Department of Social Justice’s Popular Entertainment and Education Division has issued a directive that watching ‘Duck Dynasty’ Broadcasts on American Media Collective Channel #417 (A&E Network) is now mandatory, especially in light of recent attempts by reactionary bigots to prevent the workers and peasants of the USSA from participating in this channel.

‘Duck Dynasty’ was originally developed by professional educators in the State media to shed light on the plight of workers and peasants in the rural South, who are politically underdeveloped and suffer from chronic social awkwardness. To introduce his children to the problem of the poor in Non-Progressive Culture, Comrade Party Chairman and Future President Barack Barackovich Obama has required his children to watch ‘Duck Dynasty’ as part of their proper political formation.

Now, with the counter-revolutionary elements attempting to agitate citizens against the Party and A&E, it is imperative that all citizens watch A&E as much as possible, except when to do so would interfere with other Party mandated activities, such as porn viewing or trying to log onto the Palincare Website. We should all model the good parenting of the Obama Family, knowing that what is good for them is most certainly good for us all.

Children must understand how the Bourgeoisie has infected the Proletariat South with racism, sexism, homophobia, improper grooming (particularly barbaphilia), love of firearms, and camouflage clothing. A&E has long sought to make the actors of ‘Duck Dynasty’ both pitiable and mock-worthy, helping us to learn from them while praising the Party from preserving us from the fate of these poor fools.

Let us follow the example of the Obamas and watch ‘Duck Dynasty’! Loyal citizens, tune in to A&E and receive your daily education!



Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People’s Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

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Red Square
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by Red Square » 12/22/2013, 1:11 am

Off topic:

I made a larger version of the pic above and wanted to make a caption - something to the effect that, since Duck Dynasty proved to be a lot more popular than the messianic president. the A&E Network is now helping Obama to improve his ratings with a new show that imitates Duck Dynasty but is about the Obamas instead.

I can't think of a good name for that new show. It's past midnight and I'll continue in the morning. In the meantime, any ideas will be appreciated.

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Karl Marx Treatment Center
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by Karl Marx Treatment Center » 12/22/2013, 3:08 am

Red Square wroteColonI can't think of a good name for that new show. It's past midnight and I'll continue in the morning. In the meantime, any ideas will be appreciated.



Duckspeak Dynasty


Duckspeak is a Newspeak term meaning literally to quack like a duck or to speak without thinking. Duckspeak can be either good or "ungood" (bad), depending on who is speaking, and whether what they are saying is in following with the ideals of Big Brother. To speak rubbish and lies may be ungood, but to speak rubbish and lies for the good of "The Party" may be good. In the appendix to 1984, Orwell explains:

“ Ultimately it was hoped to make articulate speech issue from the larynx without involving the higher brain centres at all. This aim was frankly admitted in the Newspeak word duckspeak […]. Like various words in the B vocabulary, duckspeak was ambivalent in meaning. Provided that the opinions which were quacked out were orthodox ones, it implied nothing but praise, and when the Times referred to one of the orators of the Party as a doubleplusgood duckspeaker it was paying a warm and valued compliment. ”
—Orwell, Nineteen Eighty-Four


An example of a skillful duckspeaker in action is provided in the beginning of chapter 9, in which an Inner Party speaker is haranguing the crowd about the crimes of Eurasia when a note is passed into his hand; he does not stop speaking for a moment, or change his voice or manner, but (according to the changed party line) he now condemns the crimes of Eastasia, which is Oceania's new enemy.

Source: Wikipedia

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Anyer Marx
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by Anyer Marx » 12/22/2013, 9:46 am

Karl Marx Treatment Center wroteColon .... Duckspeak Dynasty ....
That would also fit with the current merchandizing themes...
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Barry, Eric, Nanski & Hill

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Red Square
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by Red Square » 12/22/2013, 12:08 pm

Comrades! I woke up this morning with the idea of "Quack Dynasty" in my head. And sure enough, Anyer Marx posted his Quack Pack proposal. That means "Quack" is the word! I'll send a directive down to the boys at Visual Agitation. Triple beet rations for toiling on a Sunday morning!

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Red Square
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by Red Square » 12/22/2013, 4:22 pm


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by Nomenklatura-climber » 12/22/2013, 9:42 pm

As usual... brilliant! Comrade, Karl Marx surely has returned from the Great Negation of Negation!

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