Comrades!

To the dirigibles and jet-propelled aviatrons my dearest companions! One of our own is in desperate need of support:


Where is "Code Pink?" Where are "Grannies Against the War" and the venerable "Up With Soldiers Down With Troops?" The correction of these evil deserters will be swift and deadly! It is against the character of our movement to use people until their efficacy is lost, then abandon them!

Ha Ha, no one's showed up. Her 15 minutes of fame are over.

Aaaawwwww....

The sympathetic and merciful media used a photoshopped image of Cindy. The original picture recently filed in the classified Party archives looked like this:

Techniques for "erasing" people from pictures was pioneered by the party years before "photoshop" came along.

Do not be fooled or misled Comrades!

These doctored photos are obviously a ploy of the fascistic right wing press to discredit Mother Cindy by digitally removing the adoring throngs of cadres that were in the original photo flocking to her cause in ever-increasing numbers.

Get the picture?

And in the barren tent, faint echoes of proud moments past mocked our heroine. Vague recollections of recent triumph dallied as her brain screamed "No blood for oil," while her lips remained imprisoned in a manly pout. How she lamented the state of once-proud Camp Casey, left in tatters like a freedom fighter training camp raided by oppressors. The beautiful plastic replica of Casey's corpse lay in a shallow grave with no photographers in sight. How this reminded her of the remains of Saddam's proud palaces after the murderous and unjust invasion.

But what's that? Our lady's ears prick up! Is that the hum of a sattelite van? Did someone just scream "Bush lied, Casey died?" No, all is lost -- it was only a cow mooing in the distance.

All that remains is the weapon, gently placed on the table by an officer of Soros Inc. Would a call to Ted Turner help? After all, he used to own CNN, her home away from Crawford! Paula Zahn might love her still! But no, everyone knows Soros makes the rules. It would have to be this way. In her final moments, a vague thought crystalizes as resignation takes hold: how she wished Casey had never been born!

Where have I seen that gun before? Last I remember, I was talking to Hillary and we were going to have lunch in Ft. Marcy Park and then my memory fades to black. Help me remember comrades!

I have sent you a care package of herbal and all natural teas and other hocus pocus crap like that to help you remember. Your memory should return in several days with a sustained intake of there products.

-Kommissar Betty

As Komissar, it is my duty to be as up to date on the truth as possible. I am proud to report that the non-person Cindy Sheehan never existed. I recently made the discovery while searching through party archives. The media made ther person up in a poorly vieled attempt to make true progressives look like fools.

Honestly, who would believe that a progressive would accept an apology from Bush? Seriously. Most importantly of all, progressives never falter. This Cindy Sheehan allegedly accepted a personal apology from the Chimp in Chief, and then protests over it? Prepostrous! Believe me, if such a truth had been known of, the party would surely have know about it, and delegated the task appropriately.

Failure has never been a characterisic of the party. Don't believe the lies that the capitalists tell you. The party never has failed, we merely have been planning our victory for a very long time. It is only now, under the banner of Madame Protector Klinton, and our superior Cube, that we can finally enact the dreams of the past.

Just to sum up: Cindy Sheenhan never existed. It was all a lie. I'm proud to report this to you, because we would be remissed to have a damaging mark on our record such as that.