Dateline Moscow, Russia -

Encouraged and emboldened by his FORWARD! thinking comrades at The People's Cube, Russian president Vladimir Putin today restored the Soviet Hero of Labor title.


In a ceremony attended by various embalmed notables as well as by most of the Democrat members of the United States House and Senate, and by radio transmissions to and from Laika the Space Dog, Comrade Putin stated for the record that his comrades at The People's Cube, a well known subversive American website, had opened his eyes to see the importance of the award, title, and medal.

"This title of Soviet Hero of Labor is fully equal and will hereby be awarded by myself to those I deem equally worthy," said the Russian president during a short press conference following the announcement.

In response, Obama announces "Hero of Labor Statistics" award.

This new "Hero of Labor Statistics" award has arrived not a moment too soon! It must be given immediately to our own Dear Leader President Obama for his tireless efforts in promoting the progress of the Amerikan Worker! (and korrekt graphic display of data)

"...for excellence in creating mountains from molehills above and beyond the call of duty..."