Evangelical Christians Press For Ruth Bader Ginsburg To Become Chief Justice of the Supreme Court

(PORTSMOUTH, NH) Dozens of Evangelical groups, meeting for the first time under the umbrella organization Council For New World Evangelicals, have called for John Roberts to step down as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court and allow Ruth Bader Ginsburg to assume command.

According to a statement issued today and sent to President George Bush, “Ruth Bader Ginsburg would be the perfect choice to head a more tolerant and less divisive Supreme Court.”

Pamela R. Falcone, president of Evangelicals For Birth Tolerance, acknowledges Ginsburg's longstanding support for abortion, but doesn't find that prohibitive. “I'm getting sick tired of people perceiving us Evangelicals as inflexible,” she said, becoming visibly agitated. “For God's sake, Christians invented the word ‘tolerance.' Christ told us to ‘turn the other cheek.'”

Falcone added, “We are in no way pro-abortion, and we're very committed to children, but we want a solution that doesn't divide this nation with a sword.”

David Inkster, founder of Evangelicals For The Fairness Doctrine, praised Senator Charles Schumer's recent announcement that the Senate will not confirm any more of Bush's nominees for the Supreme Court under any circumstances. “It's about time,” he said.

Inkster called Bush's two recent appointments, Roberts and Samuel Alito, “rigid and Roman,” and said that if he could meet with both of them he'd have just one thing to say, “Judge ye not lest ye be judged yourselves.”

Evangelicals For Birth Tolerance and Evangelicals For The Fairness Doctrine are among dozens of groups meeting this weekend for a conference in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. These organizations include: Evangelicals Against Global Warming, Evangelicals For National Health Care, Evangelicals For The Kyoto Protocol, Evangelicals Against The Border Fence, Evangelicals For Equal Results, Evangelicals Against Faith-Based Initiatives, and The Jesus Group, among others. Their stated goals is to find ways to change Americans' perceptions of Evangelicals, which Inkster calls “blinkered.”

In recent months, a cross-section of Evangelicals has gone on record for a free Palestinian State and against global warming, which was widely reported by The New York Times. Could this surprising trend indicate that the long-standing affiliation between Evangelicals and conservative politicians is coming to an end?

Amy Allison, spokesperson for Evangelicals For Hillary Clinton, would like to think so. “What once was a tiny fissure is becoming a widening crack,” Allison said. “And we hope it becomes a chasm as great as the one between Lazarus and the rich man,” she added, referring to the Gospel parable. “It's about time Americans found out that Democrats and not just Republicans believe in God.”

“We all have a similar goal,” noted Thomas Gundy, president of the Council For New World Evangelicals, the event's sponsor. “We want to disabuse Americans of their entrenched notion that Evangelicals are hidebound and inflexible.”

Gundy, who is also the founder of the Jesus Club, a theatre company out of Woonsocket, Rhode Island, scoffed at charges that these Evangelical groups are comprised of no more than a few members, a fax machine and a paid press secretary, and carry no clout whatsoever with most Evangelicals. “That kind of cynicism is the reason people get turned off of politics.”

Gundy also denied that holding the conference in New Hampshire had anything to do with the upcoming presidential primary. “Our organization is headquartered in Portsmouth,” he emphasized.

Gundy noted that thousands of people in hundreds of churches across the United States are affiliated with the Council for New World Evangelicals. He also stated that every Evangelical pastor in America gets one of their e-mails when an issue of importance is voted on in Congress. “That's about 80,000 e-mail alerts,” he said.

fit_to_print_news wrote:Gundy, who is also the founder of the Jesus Club, a theatre company out of Woonsocket, Rhode Island, scoffed at charges that these Evangelical groups are comprised of no more than a few members, a fax machine and a paid press secretary, and carry no clout whatsoever with most Evangelicals. “That kind of cynicism is the reason people get turned off of politics.”

This is the money quote, in more ways than one. In fact, the biggest and open opponent of cynicism in politics today is Barak Obama who has come out of the closet and declared a war on cynicism which he had been afraid to oppose before due to an overwhelming support for cynicism among his Republican colleagues, lobbyists, and voters.

I think he has proposed a legislature to ban cynicism in politics, and promised that when he becomes President he will also outlaw cynicism in public life, education, and interpersonal relationships.

His opponents on the GOP side, of course, are trying to protect cynicism in politics and public life. In particular they are concerned with such repelling and archaic varieties of cynicism as "Freedom", "Happiness", and "The American Way".

Obama's supporters are calling for a reform in mass media that will require to compensate each cynical commentator of Republican persuasion with at least one or two non-cynics from among the Democrats.

Once Ginsburg becomes Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, I'm sure, cynicism will be equated to hate crime and will forever leave American shores, as all cynics will become inmates of specially designed high-security re-education facilities which they will be able to leave only as they exhibit the propensity for a non-cynical behavior.

Among the supporters of such reform, commonly known as the Fairness Dictate, are also Evangelicals for Dictatorship of the Proletariat who usually hold their regular Sunday sermons in Union Square in New York City.

Not far behind are their colleagues from such numerous and wildly popular groups as Evangelicals for the liberation of Body Thetans, as well as Evangelicals for Satan's Sex Education.

cynicism sounds like an excuse for fascist imperalism to me.

I kind of like it.

Evangelicals for Satan's Sex Education.

I bet they are already planning mandatory classes of that for kindergarteners.