Under the new Obamacare bill, there will be some changes in how you purchase and consume edible goods:

First of all, breathalyzers have been refitted to not count the amount of alcohol in your blood, but to count how many calories you have consumed that day.

If you go over the determined amount of calories that day, you will not be able to open your "Obamafridge"


On top of that, Grocery stores will be fitted at checkout lines with these new "Fat Detectors" that are more sensitive to how many calories they can detect. So instead of reading how much you ate in a day, they measure how much you eat in a week and if you are caught eating more than what is legally allowed your purchasing privileges will be suspended for twenty days.


Just keeping you all up to date so plan accordingly.

Ahh so grocery store discount cards will be mandatory so that all purchases can be tracked.

Or will one have to present their Obamacare card before purchasing any food?

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Ahh so grocery store discount cards will be mandatory so that all purchases can be tracked.

Or will one have to present their Obamacare card before purchasing any food?

You will need your social security card. Much like debt your weight, food consumption, and energy use will all be tracked by that number.

Also steering wheels on cars will be able to tell how much perspiration you have had that day and how many calories you have burned because of it. Your car will only go as far as 25 calories per mile. If you run out of Calo-miles you can use carbon credits or get out and do some jumping jacks, push ups, or laps around your car before it will start up again.

Two words Comrades - Calorie Credits.

ThePeoplesComrade wrote:Two words Comrades - Calorie Credits.

Do you think it would be possible to force people to use Calorie Credits to watch T.V.? Unless if it is MSNBC of course. That should be free.

Double-Dip, Calorie Credit and Carbon Credit for TV Watching.

Mandatory TV Surveillance Unit in two models.

Comrade PC, I to be of fixing.



And what is that JVC to be of meaning? Is it of some secret kkkapitalist acronym such as being Juice Very Cunning?

Right

If I weren't such a staunch communist I would immediately establish a calorie credit trading company. Professional sportsmen can sell their credits to couch potatoes who can then couch potato absolutely guilt free!

Oh and welcome back Chedo. Some of the girls (comrade Putout for one) were pining for your enlightened presence.

Soon the unwashed masses will learn that Doctor Obama Knows Best...

For The Children...


... and for you ....



--Doctor Obama

(*%$#@ #@!*!!!)

What a glorious idea from our glorious Leader! (and I will be of most thankfuledness for a large pantry and ice cooler) Might I inquire, for friends and associate sake, where one might purchase "calorie credits"?
(NO BURGERS?!!!!!! *&%$#@!!! Dr. Ob, say it ain't so!!)

And yes dearest young Chedoh, Comrade . . . Comradess? . . . Putout has been most put upon by your sweet smiling face avatar. I thought we were seeing the blooming passions of adorations!

I have been away for some time, I admit it. But I am here now to welcome Putout in my warm, crunchy embrace.

Welcome back Chedoh and stick around, the Party™ may have a special assignment for you.

Rationing is always a good idea comrades. Why let the rich hog all the healthy foods leaving only junk food for the poor? This fact was known back in the glorious days of FDR.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Welcome back Chedoh and stick around, the Party™ may have a special assignment for you.

Rationing is always a good idea comrades. Why let the rich hog all the healthy foods leaving only junk food for the poor? This fact was known back in the glorious days of FDR.

I would be most honored with a special assignment from the party! I will no longer allow myself to be distracted from the greater good!



I've just been really busy. I got a full plate between getting married (June 16th) and college stuff. I have been reading post a lot but just haven't said anything myself.

{OFF}
Congratulations on the marriage!

Comrade Chedo

When on your honeymoon, do not, I repeat do not take your bride to the swimming pool. Wet cheese puffs are not romantic. Believe you me.

Amandla!

Obamugabe!

(PS. I think somebody should check on Putout. I am sure she may be a suicide risk at the moment...)

Chedoh wrote:
I would be most honored with a special assignment from the party! I will no longer allow myself to be distracted from the greater good!



I've just been really busy. I got a full plate between getting married (June 16th) and college stuff. I have been reading post a lot but just haven't said anything myself.

Our young little crunchy got married?!!! Well, much congratulatories! But I am of greater hopefulness that lady distractions will not be a distraction. (that is frowned upon by the Party Elite and seen as a Mandatory Gulag Offense™ .)

As for "special assignment" I would be most leery. Special assignment can be code speak for body removal... but YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT FROM ME!!!!

Congratulations on your impending marriage. I'm sure Comrade Putout will understand, some things were never meant to be.

Oh and don't forget to register your new wife as next of kin so we can forward your mail and belongings to her if you should wind up in the gulag again.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:I'm sure Comrade Putout will understand, some things were never meant to be.

What makes you so sure the lucky bride is not the very Comrade Putout?

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Congratulations on your impending marriage. I'm sure Comrade Putout will understand, some things were never meant to be.

Oh and don't forget to register your new wife as next of kin so we can forward your mail and belongings to her if you should wind up in the gulag again.

Well comrade! Good news (for Putout) we have decided today to wait until after we finish our degrees in social injustice prevention!

But we remain engaged.

Then there's still hope for the lovelorn Putout! (o m g, maybe we best not mention of such to her? Do we know it's a her??)
And after registering future impending bridal unit, please Register at the Gulag for wedding nuptial giffery! We have some lovely gifts we've been trying toget rid of give as gifts to some unsuspecting eager soul, for a ages!


Who doesn't need a new fancy toaster!?

and we have an assortment (2) of most desirable wedding rings... one of wood and one of .... something or another. Your choice!

I have an old good as new Frania washing machine out on the back porch of my dacha that the neighbor's cat has been living in.

I'm sure your new Russian bride will work like a horse to keep her man happy and give you plenty of babies that will grow up and vote Democrat...if we still allow voting by then.

I am very happy for Chedoh.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Congratulations on your impending marriage. I'm sure Comrade Putout will understand, some things were never meant to be.

Oh and don't forget to register your new wife as next of kin so we can forward your mail and belongings to her if you should wind up in the gulag again.

Are we forwarding ashes now too, or are they simply being tilled back into the beet fields? Eh doesn't matter. You should know Comrade Chedoh, that as a prior Gulag user; your estate is Entitled(TM) to 50% off of the execution bullet.

ooops, it appears Comrade Putout is a wee upset with Chedoh's engarmentalities. yikes.

Our little crunchy, it might be time to run for hills.... that's right behind the garbage dumb back of the gulag.

Perhaps we can feature comrade Putout in the next installment of the People's Dating Service? Come to think of it, we have several potential offerings for catch of the day: Comrade Otis, Margaret, Pamalinsky and Avril P. Hen...Henr..that french guy.

Ah, another glorious idea, Comrade Whoopie! Whoopee! (I make wee joke). I can invisionary Putout with Pamalinsky . . . or dear, glorious Avril! What a lovely match, made in gulag heaven, is it not?
Why, I think I hear church bells??!! oh, no, wait, that's the alarm on the back gulag door. Back in a moment................

Gee Chedoh- I wonder who went to the New York Mets game with Lady Gaga and gave her a special necklace?

Another image for your 'party file' perhaps?

Putout's been stalking Chedoh because he likes chippies.
Could that explain how Whoopie caught Putout in a compromising position with Pamalinsky?



Putout + Pamalinsky 4-ever!

Comrade Putout wrote:Gee Chedoh- I wonder who went to the New York Mets game with Lady Gaga and gave her a special necklace?

Another image for your 'party file' perhaps?

chedoh-gaga1.png

I had to divert my eyes from that, horrid thing. Why would you post such a hideous monstrosity of a pseudo artist?

That is why it never would have worked between us.

Madonna has been getting kinda gnarly in her old age and so the Party™ created "Lady" Gaga as a replacement so Western culture would continue it's decline unabated.

(It's all part of the 5 year plan comrade)

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Madonna has been getting kinda gnarly in her old age and so the Party™ created "Lady" Gaga as a replacement so Western culture would continue it's decline unabated.

(It's all part of the 5 year plan comrade)

You are right, I forgot that and should be accepting of comrade Lady Gaga.

I think Pinkie has some excellent investigative skills. I would offer an extra ration of Time, but she'll just whack me for not doing it earlier... Come to think of it, who did she whack to get root access to my computer? Ack.

I can 'get my freak on™' too!

So can Chedoh!

Leave Comrade Gaga alone!

Гага! Гага! Гага! Гага! Гага! Гага! Гага! Гага!