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Field Reports from the Pennsylvanian Front

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[PROG OFF]

For those who don't know, I live at Pennsylvania. Governor Tom Wolf, a democrat whose runningmate John Fetterman is a borderline socialist, has ordered a 2-week shutdown of all "non-essential" BUSINESSES! It has been marketed as "voluntary", but reports from small business owners who attended the announcement say that it is more of a "volun-told" shutdown.

Tried to return some books and check out a couple more at the library, and they've been ordered to close until the 28th. Same goes for schools and cyberschools. The latter is a blessing in disguise, I saw something I haven't seen for a long time - kids playing in the streets.

I was at the liquor store stocking up on vodka, and overheard the clerk say that they were told to shut down tonight INDEFINITELY. If you don't know, all liquor and wine stores in PA are owned and operated by the state government. The lines wrapped around the perimeter of the store. I have never had to wait in line to pay for spirits before, I had to stand 15-20 minutes in line today. One gent bought over 400 dollars of spirits.

Up north in New York governor Cuomo wants to bring in the military, and since Wolf is just Cuomo minus the notoriety I expect him to do the same thing. Just as it goes in NY so goes the rest of the country.

I'll try to give updates as I see them. Here at PA, it's on.

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[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]

Comrade S,

The more control the governor can capture during the onset phase of the pandemic, the more items in his bag of goodies to pass out to his friends and voters during the recovery phase. Classic political gamesmanship.

CC

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Captain Craptek wrote:[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]

Comrade S,

The more control the governor can capture during the onset phase of the pandemic, the more items in his bag of goodies to pass out to his friends and voters during the recovery phase. Classic political gamesmanship.

CC

Sage advice, CC.

And the word "recovery" even in your means of production definition, gives the mythical horned rodent something.

The Current Truth™ that Biden cannot be investigated for corruption...and/or dementia... has the mythical horned rodent just ready to gore some lonesome Beto cowboy riding with un-stove pipe protected legs ...as the legend of jackalope lore tail goes.

And that would be a terrible thing for those PA children out playing in their neighborhood to have to witness.

your mythical cousin of rodenthood,
Jackalopelipsky

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Comrades, We are finally at the pinnacle of our glory! The esteemed Mayor of New York City has uttered those famous words “This is a case for the nationalization of crucial factories and industries”. Yes, Comrades, I cannot think of a better way to have government finally take over the means of production of not only hand sanitizer but surgical gloves, masks, ventilators, food production, housing, finance, all manufacturing, energy production, and its final elimination. In fact we should get down on one knee and thank him as our glorious days are ahead…….
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Most Equal Komrads,

[OFF]

I have been wondering what the other end of this looks like. Thus far more people have died on the highways in Missouri (according to the spiffy programmable signs) this year than from the Apocalyptic Virus Infestation in the USSA. The deaths from the regular flu dwarf the number of deaths from the said Apocalyptic Virus Infestation. Compared to the Apocalyptic Virus Infestation the flu is rampaging across the USSA. Never a word about that. Where was the Shelter In Place Order when the flu killed thousands of us last year. Yawn, no one cared then or cares now.

I will now channel Captain Obvious: This is totally agenda driven. Just like Gun Control is not about guns. It is about control. This is about getting people to accept Marshal Law conditions. And they are bending over and taking it. Eating it up with a spoon. I wonder where all the adults went. The mandatory closing of businesses enrages me. I guess no one is responsible enough to make the decision by themselves. I heard that San Fransisco is under mandatory self quarantine. The "news" said that people are allowed out of their housing only for visits to the grocers or pharmacy. I wonder if they can also go outside to move their bowels in the street as is their right? What about their massive homeless population. Where do they self quarantine?

I feel better now. Thank you for your patience and forbearing.

[ON]

I must denounce myself again for my unequal use of the people's interwebs. Maybe I have enough boxcar miles to get an upgrade this time...

Shaking my head in the Current Truth ™,

Red Salmon

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Red Salmon wrote:Most Equal Komrads,

[OFF]

I have been wondering what the other end of this looks like. Thus far more people have died on the highways in Missouri (according to the spiffy programmable signs) this year than from the Apocalyptic Virus Infestation in the USSA. The deaths from the regular flu dwarf the number of deaths from the said Apocalyptic Virus Infestation. Compared to the Apocalyptic Virus Infestation the flu is rampaging across the USSA. Never a word about that. Where was the Shelter In Place Order when the flu killed thousands of us last year. Yawn, no one cared then or cares now.

I will now channel Captain Obvious: This is totally agenda driven. Just like Gun Control is not about guns. It is about control. This is about getting people to accept Marshal Law conditions. And they are bending over and taking it. Eating it up with a spoon. I wonder where all the adults went. The mandatory closing of businesses enrages me. I guess no one is responsible enough to make the decision by themselves. I heard that San Fransisco is under mandatory self quarantine. The "news" said that people are allowed out of their housing only for visits to the grocers or pharmacy. I wonder if they can also go outside to move their bowels in the street as is their right? [highlight=#ffff00]What about their massive homeless population. Where do they self quarantine?[/highlight]

I feel better now. Thank you for your patience and forbearing.

[ON]

I must denounce myself again for my unequal use of the people's interwebs. Maybe I have enough boxcar miles to get an upgrade this time...

Shaking my head in the Current Truth ™,

Red Salmon

Comrade Salmon,

I hear that the San Francisco City Council is ordering custom made king-sized tents for each homeless person. Once settled, occupants will be asked to remain near the center of their tent to provide adequate lateral distance between neighbors. This way social isolation, greater comfort for the homeless, and continuing jobs for city workers assembling tents and designing more spacious sidewalk layouts can be achieved by a single command from the top! This will be excellent training for those directly involved and a great example of neighborly community service for those watching on CNN, MSLSD, C-SPAN, NBC, CBS, ABC, etc. Efficiency!

CC (Zoning Board Member)

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Can't we call it something catchy?

How about the Wuhan Super Happy Fun Chinese Death Flu?

Maybe Jim Acosta will approve of that, since it's Super Happy Fun!

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[PROG OFF]

Report 2 -

I went into town today. The nail places and barbershops were open, the restaurants were doing takeaways only, the antique shops were open, the pipe and cigar shop was open but with limited hours and the smoking lounge was closed off. All factories were open and making whatever it is they make. Feel kind of like an idiot for buying a 50 dollar 14 ounce can of pipe tobacco on monday, but hey, at this point it's an insurance policy.

Nice to see some people defying this order. And all the newly-takeaway places on main street were doing great, whereas the drive-thrus looked like ghost towns. The bars were closed, including the local American Legion post.

Also found out that the Catholic churches are suspending public masses until further notice on direction from the Bishop and that one Catholic church around here will have their private mass broadcast on the radio.

I was on Interstate 80 today as well. I was the only car on the road. A handful of trucks heading west, a whole convoy heading east. I stopped counting at truck number 30. It was like driving next to a moving wall. For international readers, Interstate 80 is THE main highway of America. It's our equivalent of the M1 roadways in Britain, Europe, Asiatic Russia, and Australia, and goes from Teaneck, New Jersey, a town 5 miles north of Manhattan, to San Francisco, California.

A lot of people out walking the streets. Plenty of cars at the trailheads of trails. More cars parked on main street than I've ever seen at this time of year.

The supermarkets weren't completely sold out like they have been. Bought some spaghetti sauce that I wanted to buy yesterday, but couldn't because it was sold out. Found out that my local Walmart has instituted a toilet paper ration of 2 packs per person per visit.

Lines at Walmart were shorter and they put their most competent clerks on cashier duty. Even had a few people taking bags of groceries off the turntable and putting them in people's carts for them. Every damn lane was open. Felt like I was back in the 80's, even though I was never around to experience them. Bag boys, stores closing at night, stores care about fast, friendly service, people are buying real food again AND are willing to have conversations!? Bloody amazing! I wish it would continue!

Overall, life goes on.

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Red Salmon wrote:Most Equal Komrads,

[OFF]

I have been wondering what the other end of this looks like. Thus far more people have died on the highways in Missouri (according to the spiffy programmable signs) this year than from the Apocalyptic Virus Infestation in the USSA. The deaths from the regular flu dwarf the number of deaths from the said Apocalyptic Virus Infestation. Compared to the Apocalyptic Virus Infestation the flu is rampaging across the USSA. Never a word about that. Where was the Shelter In Place Order when the flu killed thousands of us last year. Yawn, no one cared then or cares now.

I will now channel Captain Obvious: This is totally agenda driven. Just like Gun Control is not about guns. It is about control. This is about getting people to accept Marshal Law conditions. And they are bending over and taking it. Eating it up with a spoon. I wonder where all the adults went. The mandatory closing of businesses enrages me. I guess no one is responsible enough to make the decision by themselves. I heard that San Fransisco is under mandatory self quarantine. The "news" said that people are allowed out of their housing only for visits to the grocers or pharmacy. [highlight=#ffff99]I wonder if they can also go outside to move their bowels in the street as is their right? [/highlight]What about their massive homeless population. Where do they self quarantine?

I feel better now. Thank you for your patience and forbearing.

[ON]

I must denounce myself again for my unequal use of the people's interwebs. Maybe I have enough boxcar miles to get an upgrade this time...

Shaking my head in the Current Truth ™,

Red Salmon

Most equal comrade Red Salmon, your question is pushing the mythical horned rodent's button. See, nearly 3 decades ago, 'pelipsky was a professional middle school remedial reading teacher with re-sults. Even 8th graders figured out the scam when Mrs. Jackalopelipsky encouraged them to do their best on their achievement tests ---because they asked, "But, Miss J...iffins we do real good on our tests...you won't have a job!. A thought that filled them with anxious anxiety.

Miss J. lived in a fantasy world of republican virtue where M.E.R.I. T. was what counted on the ISD's accountant's balanced balance sheet.

That fantasy world came to a box car screechin' cognitive disruption when mixed up emotionally disturbed student did something...well...just O.D.D. The Federal tax $$$ p-sychiatrist was busily working to keep said mixed up student...well...m.i.x.e.d. up. In fact, keepin' said mixed up student m.i.x.e.d. up was her beemer payment parked in staff parkin' lot.

Miss J. simply asked, "Are you sure this is the right thing?" And voila a m.e.m.o. was constructed by Russians, stating that Miss J was threat to not just student...but an eminent danger to civilization and kittens! yes! And Miss J was sent home from school until she p.r.o.v.e.d. she was NOT an eminent danger to civilization...and kittens! And no one but mixed up student and Miss J. thought this strategy was O.D.D.

This totally deconstructed 'pelipsky's fantasy world based on past merit having any value on ISD's accountant balance sheet as M.O.R.E. Federal fundin' was the obvious solution to this odd situation. The end result of this influx of Federal Fundin' not only destroyed the standard of what comprised a safe learning environment on every neighborhood public school...while said mixed up student is servin' 75 in Texazistan's Penal System...without mur-der-ing anyone. Just Marx bless Amerikkka.

Living nearly 3 decades of p.r.o.v.i.n.g. 'pelipsky is innocent of those charges have manifested a trophy sized rack of antlers on the mythical horned rodent...that continue to endanger 'pelipsky's life as jackalope season is ALWAYS on. Witness that 'pelipsky's own Deep State "Conservative" Representative hates 'pelipsky the teacher's g.u.t.s for ...gasp...teaching The Constitution to his constituents...which made them uppity in questioning his motives in his v.o.t.e.s. on his...eerrr their...THEIR well-being.

It's ALWAYS jackalope season in Texazistan!

So, here's Red Salmon...questioning how quarantine is gonna affect sidewalk poopin' vagrants in San Fran...because vagrants poopin' on city sidewalks is O.K. and norm-alized without exceptions.

30 years of being ass.umed. as crazy and a threat to civilization and kittens...has played havoc on 'pelipsky's prog settings. On/Off are just mythical buttons in the mythical horned rodent's mind because cra.zee. provides 'pelipsky the protected under constitutional mental disabilities act to just say whatever the hell comes to the mythical horned rodent's mind under new and improved civil liberties act.

Just keep pushin' it Red Salmon and you too can be as box car'd free as 'pelipsky. You too, Comrade Stierlitz. Just keep pushin' the limits of mental disorder RIGHTS until the People's Red Revolution 2020 is reality.

over and out,
'pelipsky
Russian Agent
#BR-549

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{PROG OFF]
REPORT 3 -
I've had many drinks, so please excuse typoes.

It looks like the 'volun-told" nature of the order felt by small biz owners has been fully realized by our wonderful semi-Socialist governor. Today, he hs announced an officialy mandatory closure of all "non life-sustaining businesses", to be enforced by police and other authorities, and cited, fined, or closed accordingly. This is in response to his voluntary order issued a week ago not being respected or followed.

I thought it was already on here in the great state of Pennsylvania. Today, it's on like donkey kong. I'm glad I bought a pound can of pipe tobacco from the pipe shop beforehand.
Thankfully, it doesn;t seem like the country, grocery, and general stores will be affected. However, the manufacturing base will. And I won't be able to drop off some dry cleaning like I planned to tomorrow, since they'll be closed as well.

Like I said, it's on like donkey kong.

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Ol' Uncle Ells reporting in from Tulsi-land.

The bikini clad presidential cantidate emerged from her hale to throw her support to the addled former senator, who inexplicably has never even sniffed her hair.

So, my mission to uncover her presidential campaign is moot. In related news:

https://www.staradvertiser.com/2020/03/ ... ronavirus/

I am required to hunker down inside except for essential things.

Fortunately for me, that includes walks on the beach (seriously, it's allowed, but don't even think of stopping -- that's not allowed), picking up take-out food, and grocery shopping (did I mention that grocery stores sell liquor here?).

Please pray for me (to Komrade Marx), having to survive in this godforsaken hell hole (82F predicted tomorrow with seasonal trade winds). If they close the ports, I may run out of port.

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Ellsworth Toohey wrote:Ol' Uncle Ells reporting in from Tulsi-land.

The bikini clad presidential cantidate emerged from her hale to throw her support to the addled former senator, who inexplicably has never even sniffed her hair.

So, my mission to uncover her presidential campaign is moot. In related news:

https://www.staradvertiser.com/2020/03/ ... ronavirus/

I am required to hunker down inside except for essential things.

Fortunately for me, that includes walks on the beach (seriously, it's allowed, but don't even think of stopping -- that's not allowed), picking up take-out food, and grocery shopping (did I mention that grocery stores sell liquor here?).

Please pray for me (to Komrade Marx), having to survive in this godforsaken hell hole (82F predicted tomorrow with seasonal trade winds). If they close the ports, I may run out of port.

ET? Are you operating remotely in current quarantine camp to avoid return to Bernmontistan?
Like how did you get choice of camp? It's who you know, isn't it ET?

'pelipsky

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jackalopelipsky wrote:
Ellsworth Toohey wrote:Ol' Uncle Ells reporting in from Tulsi-land.

The bikini clad presidential cantidate emerged from her hale to throw her support to the addled former senator, who inexplicably has never even sniffed her hair.

So, my mission to uncover her presidential campaign is moot. In related news:

https://www.staradvertiser.com/2020/03/ ... ronavirus/

I am required to hunker down inside except for essential things.

Fortunately for me, that includes walks on the beach (seriously, it's allowed, but don't even think of stopping -- that's not allowed), picking up take-out food, and grocery shopping (did I mention that grocery stores sell liquor here?).

Please pray for me (to Komrade Marx), having to survive in this godforsaken hell hole (82F predicted tomorrow with seasonal trade winds). If they close the ports, I may run out of port.

ET? Are you operating remotely in current quarantine camp to avoid return to Bernmontistan?
Like how did you get choice of camp? It's who you know, isn't it ET?

'pelipsky

Bermontistan? In the winter? That is for the proles! 8 inches of snow yesterday at my remote secure cabin. I will return during that glorious season called 'mud'. That season has prepared me for the current crisis mode -- everything is closed in Bermontistan every April! Then the black flies come in the Peoples' month of May and tourists are still not present. My opinion is that is best time to visit the Peoples' Republic of Bernie. Only downside is all of the smoke belching volvos and suburus with the 'free stuff' bumper stickers (Liz or Bernie - take your pick), that for some ironic reason also have 'save the environment' stickers while they belch partially combusted exhaust. That and no car pool lanes.

My preferred gulag in the winter includes warm weather, blue ocean, scuba diving and sunscreen. In order to reserve a spot in high ranking party member gulag such as this, it does require knowing a lot of peoples. (And a do mean *a lot*). They are all named Benjamin. You need to congregate them in one location, then provide them to the party kommisar, known colloquially as "real estate agent".

Of course the peoples' state gets their 16+% 'lodging tax'. All for the greater good. So it can be spent on things like glorious railroad project to get people, who cannot afford to fly, from their hovels to the airport at low cost (after state subsidies, of course).

Now, back to walking briskly on the beach, taking care to not be obvious about looking at the peoples' ocean as I get my required calisthenics in. Side trip to liquor store on the route is allowed, as it is for essential beet based nutrients.


 
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