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Finally: Govt. Regulates Mini-Golf, Mini-Horses, Etc.

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It has happened! After centuries of government regulators turning a blind eye to the human rights atrocities that have been far too long ignored on our nation's mini-golf courses, the federal government will now begin its enforcement of the 2010 ADA standards to regulate these non-compliant enterprises.

No longer will have to endure the atrocity and humiliation of playing mini-golf where the fake grass is too high, the slope is too steep, and the playing area too small. Please join me in congratulating and thanking our glorious central planner for finally stepping up to the plate and doing something to halt this inhumane practice.

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Story 2. Please take note of the newly enforced ADA regulation that will no longer allow the discrimination of farm animals within the premises of greedy businesses.

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Perhaps you've heard about the schools that have banned tag. Or dodgeball. But there was a ban on legos.

COVER STORY: Why We Banned Legos


A group of about eight children conceived and launched Legotown. Other children were eager to join the project, but as the city grew — and space and raw materials became more precious — the builders began excluding other children.

[...] As they closed doors to other children, the Legotown builders turned their attention to complex negotiations among themselves about what sorts of structures to build, whether these ought to be primarily privately owned or collectively used, and how "cool pieces" would be distributed and protected. These negotiations gave rise to heated conflict and to insightful conversation. Into their coffee shops and houses, the children were building their assumptions about ownership and the social power it conveys — assumptions that mirrored those of a class-based, capitalist society — a society that we teachers believe to be unjust and oppressive. As we watched the children build, we became increasingly concerned.

Then, tragedy struck Legotown and we saw an opportunity to take strong action.

Hilltop is housed in a church, and over a long weekend, some children in the congregation who were playing in our space accidentally demolished Legotown.

Those "children in the congregation" who demolished the evil kkkapitalist Legotown were true revolutionaries! Now all children are equally sharing the glorious emptiness, marked by absence of talent and competition!

But the whole drama could, perhaps, be averted, if the government had intervened first and regulated the damned game of oppression!

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About time indeed! More government is better than no government at all!

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Dear Leader did not even get into any OSHA items, rehabilitation plans, safety of workers or equal pay issues.

A child can only be expected to know so much!


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Where the hell are the wheelchair ramps and handicapped parking spaces, not to mention solar panels? And shouldn't the children be wearing hard hats on a construction site?

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Comrades,
Let us not go to far!

For mini golf games, all that is needed is an official scorekeeper, field judge, mediator, referee, cameras and a starter.

Dealing with mini horses, all officials must weigh in well above average for height and weight. The lowest increment will weigh 300 pounds or more.

The three musketeers has a revised motto: "All for fairness, fairness for all*".

* Corrected edition

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PROG OFF

Ehh.. As a new entry to the market place I do not see much hope for the future. I am leaving the US with a growing number of independent buisness owners once I finish the degree my parents are forcing me to obtain >_<

I though America would be different than this, but it hasbeen nothing but dissapointing since I moved here 3 years ago... And I came from Saudi Arabia...

But that does not mean I will give up the fight. I just wonder how those who thirst for liberty can effectivly centralize themselves and act against these oppressive regimes.

Where are the tax strikes (just stop paying!)? Or the buisness sieges (flood a city with thousands of publicly acceptable black market businesses, rape the regulated rival economy, then hit another city)? Or the regulation strikes (a fleet of unlicensed, non-union workers in an organized strike against a certain, over regulated field)?

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PROG ON

I am sorry for the spelling and gramerical errors in my last, fumbling post that was clearly written in jest to imitate our puny rivals, but I was sabatouged by the evil capitalist device, the iPad with its irritating auto-correct...

Centralized authority would have recognized this deficiency and instead made: auto-politico-correct, so that thought crime would stop at the finger tips.

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Comrade Cone, I believe that once Google has purchased aquired all other companies involved in the >spit< capitalist telecommunications marketplace, auto-politico-correct will become a reality.

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In fact, in the near future these devices, having a satellite link to the Google database of everything you've ever searched for, browsed, or emailed about, will for the most part do your communicating for you. And if you don't purchase the new telecommunication devices you will, of course, pay a penalty (not a tax).

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Your conception of auto-politico-correct is far more ingenious than my own! This would stop the hate crime of dissidents before they even thought of it!

The stifling of capitalist innovation-for-greed is truly a beautiful thing..

It makes me long for the good old days...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v18bhwt ... plpp_video


 
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