Third Undersecretary to the
Eighth Overseer of the
Department of the Redistribution of Evil Capitalist Theft of the People's Wealth

Motto:
"WANT IS WEALTH
POVERTY IS PROSPERITY
SQUALOR IS LUXURY"

Tovarisches, General Konspiriskiy notified me of a most troubling and subversive ditty making its rounds of AlGore's, aka the People's, Internet. It is sung to the tune of "She's Lump":

"Barack, Barack, Barack,
He is The One,
To re-distrib-ute wealth, he sure has fun!
He wants to destroy our society,
Every rule and reg fills his ble-eak soul with glee,
He's destroyed our country's fiscal health
While stealing every hard working man and woman's wealth

Barack, Barack, gutsy and bold;
Ruin the healthcare industry is the goal,
If you're over 50 hate to burst your bubble;
If you get sick and need a doc, you're not worth the trouble

Barack, Barack, he'll make a car,
Kludged together by 50,000 czars,
It'll run on rainbows and unicorn farts;
Only trouble is it can't even start

Barack, Barack, he's got the power
But not enough to run your heater for an hour;
He promised energy prices would skyrocket,
And you can't pay for anything with your empty pockets!

Barack, in '12, tell him no way,
But he'll declare an emergency and he will stay!

And that's all the Repubicans have to say about that!"

UGH! I am so righteously and equally disgusted that I must take a shower after cutting and pasting that filth into my message form. Excuse me tovarisches...

...Praise The One, I am better now due to the cleansing power of the Party shower He has beneficently provided me with. On with the message...

ALERT to all People's Cube (PC) tovarisches: Find the dirty scum-sucking "writers" of this filth, interrogate them (without utilizing evil inhumane capitalist waterboarding; pitchforks, pliers, and awls are permitted), and destroy them.

FOR THE PEOPLE ™!

[quote="Comrade Redumdimski"]Third Undersecretary to the
Eighth Overseer of the
Department of the Redistribution of Evil Capitalist Theft of the People's Wealth

Motto:
"WANT IS WEALTH
POVERTY IS PROSPERITY
SQUALOR IS LUXURY"

A most interesting ditty they are chanting, prole! I see you wisely changed your unearned title to a more appropriate one of comrade.
You were most lucky to have escaped our Soviet Big Bear's charms...this time! I would remind you that you are in no position to give orders to anyone around here, prole! You would be wise to remember that, and continue to grovel, copiously, to your more equal Party superiors! Maybe, one day, when the World of Next Tuesday ™ finally arrives, you just may garner some small token of respect and status with the collective. Until then.....get back to the beet fields before I change my mind....such nonsense....third undersecretary.....bahhh!!!
As for this trash! It's a stinking lie! Why the exalted One will be 50 himself in a few short days. Would he decree something so stupid as this?

Comrade Che, your glorious repetuation precedes you and is well earned.

You will be of equal understanding that sometimes my enthusiasm for The People's Justice causes my eager desire for dispensation thereof to burn through my fog of korrektness.

By the way, tovarisch Che, please reassure me and all our Progs on the forum that you do not inkorrektly believe that The One's Care applies to HIM!

Comrade Redumdimski,
Looks like you caught Commissar Che is a good mood. Those twin, pearl handled 45's usually do the talking. We have to replace the staff of Che Gourmet's kitchen on sometimes a daily basis. A Comrade's got to be careful these days. With all the cut backs everyone is getting a little cranky. I've had to turn off the chillers at our NC Kollective's pool just to balance the books. I know for a fact that Commissar Leninka is sweltering in the Texas heat as she's saving up to hire a good Union repair person to fix her AC.

Back to business,
I've been investigating these persons who sang the Lump song. They look like a bunch of Young Rethuglicans to me. That figures:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sj_U6v ... re=related

Have no fear, this will be investigated further.

I am so utterly confused.

Tovarisches, like all good Progs I find the technological mastery displayed by Grigori E.R. to border almost on the edge of Evil Capitalist Wizardry, but I have it on good authority from tovarisch Corporeal Whinny that Grigori is indeed a loyal and korrekt Party member.

Perhaps, tovarisch Grigori, if I can work up the courage to submit a request, you can suggest a People's Pogrom Program I can use to splice some images together for my avatar - one that can do transparency, like my vanishing courage?

Oh - The Presidents of the former USA were lauded by tovarisch Yankovic in his Gumpish (what else?) "He's Gump" - Another most excellent ragingly kinetic video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=p ... QwWaWFjd0Y
We have an example of Korrekt Prog Ruling Class behavior at 1'44" and 1'49". [Sighs] It is so pleasant to see Redistribution at work!

GroupThink Posting formerly in this space moved for the good of the People!

Redumdimski, do not worry about the author of that doggerel. Bear in mind that political correctness means that some things simply cannot be said, and soon that will be incapable of expression, just as it is impossible to describe a rainbow to a cat.

In addition, how much longer do you think that people who would write things will be able to get an education? People of RethugliKKKan parentage will be shifted to vocational schools after being tutored by the teachers who are so progressive that they are not allowed to teach but because of seniority and union rules cannot be fired and only show up to sit in a room.

That means that they will not be able to read or write. This has the added advantage of hurting their ability to read about medical things, so when Dear Obamacare kicks in, they will have no avenue to resist a decision of a Death Panel. Which will of course be to liquidate all proles who are past the years of prime production.

Tovarisch Father Prog, I have explained rainbows to our cats - And they understand. Nevertheless, you are korrekt - in the World of Next Tuesday ™, "freedom" of expression will be blessedly absent. Who needs all those self-styled "creative" voices? Everyone knows when all proletariats believe all that we Progs do, there will be Peace, Harmony, and The Age of Aquarius will dawn over our Blessed Dear Leader Husseinovich forever.

This whole "brain" and "thought" thing, often associated with reading and writing, is inkorrektly and unProgressively tedious and wasteful of The People's time and energy. Even though we currently write and speak, dear tovarisch, I feel sure that you, as I, korrektly look forward to that Glorious Day when we will all merely sit (or lay sprawling; sitting requires some effort), basking in the Blessed Glow of The One.

Redumdimski, I share your sentiments, but since we are here in camera, let me moot a point. I have been rather disappointed with Dear Odumbass. He has not been as red of tooth and claw as I had hoped he would be. I wanted him to come out, like Grendel's mother from the sea, and bite the heads off the Boehner-monster, and to eat the brains out of Michelle Bachman, but he's been as passive as our Many Titted Empress when Bill is trying to find his Peyronie's disease Weiner, er, wiener, and get it on.

I am beginning to worry about Dear Obozo's passivity. He's so aloof that I shake but I'll say it: is he, and this is horrible, nothing more than an arrogant, stupid, overeducated ass-bag of hubris?

Don't get me wrong; I love him.

BTW, have you watched the documentaries about the lions watching the small, weak animal in the herd?

Father Prog, permit me to exercise a bit of Conspicuous Compassion, at the risk of being Communally Impaled, as I sense that right now a bit of komforting reassurance may be in order.

Dear Leader appears aloof only because He knows that His Position at the top of the Prog heap is secured and assured by the Prog god (Himself) and His apparent passivity is the result of His recognition that ALL the rest of us - Progs and other proles alike - are here merely for His Pleasure and Enjoyment.

With Husseinovich, there is no "cult of personality", since His Personality is All. And please, do not accuse Him of being overindoctrinated educated - it is we who are the uneducated trifling worms unable to even grasp a glimmer of His Intellekt.

The lions? Yes; His O'liness is The Lion. We are the small, weak animals.

By the way, you have a gift for verbal imagery ("Many Titted Empress" indeed! ROTFL!).

Redumdimski, you are new to the cube if you have not seen our MTE before; she is a constant visitor to the Rancho de Rio Grande and I cannot tell you of the number of times that I've had to rehab it because of the tusk marks that she's left in my drywall. When she gets drunk on bloody marys (made with the blood of rich, white RethugliKKKan girls with of course Stoli), her eyes will get even redder, and smaller, and she's been known to hop on Bruno
and ride him like a rented mule. And the damage she causes.

I got quite tired of the rehab and redid her room with a concrete floor with a drain in the middle. All it takes is hot naphtha and steel-wire brushes.

Comrades, here we are in camera and so I will suggest something. Has anyone ever heard the term, "educated beyond his intelligence"?

Could that possibly apply to anyone we know?

Oaky, Bruno in Cabaret does not do ANYTHING to alieviate my confusion.

Tovarisch Father Prog (shudders), ewww ahhh - Thank you... For the visual imagery to augment your most excellent written imagery of the MTE...

I was appalled electrified at the sight of the MTE's face - she looks most diabolical delightful and I'm sure her destructive rampages are a small price to pay for the gibbering night-terrors incomparable ecstacy she supplies.


Indeed, tovarisch, there are many who are educated beyond their intelligence, although education is very difficult to come by in the GroupThink culture foisted upon us. However, there is a great deal of indoctrination constantly inundating us like many firehoses. So we must consider those who are thoroughly indoctrinated and lacking the intelligence to perceive that their carefully constructed world consists only of lies.


But no one of any consequence comes to mind, da, tovarisch?

Redumdimski, let us never forget that we are these days constructing mental Potemkin villages. Think of Nanski Peloski. "We have to stop the Republican plan for life on this plant to remain as we know it."

Now I agree with her public statement but if anyone thinks that there is a brain behind that botoxed skeleton with a fright wig, then he too believes in a mental Potemkin village.

LOL! Tovarisch Father Prog, your GreenThink (life on this plant) love of Gaia is magnificently on display. That is exceptionally Proggish of you. Well done! But I believe Nanski was referring to the planet, and she does have a Proggishly korrekt apocalyptic way of spewing garbage thinking. More mental Potemkinning was displayed in one of her earlier statements regarding the Most Wondrous ObamaCare: "We have to pass the bill so you can find out what is in it"... How can such a clear, korrektly non-partisan demonstration of total disregard work For The People ™ fill our hearts with anything but warm thrill-up-the-leg fawning adoration and praise for the Ruling Class? They only ever continually seek what's best For The People ™. How could anyone have any questions or doubts or thoughts of any kind after a flawless and irrefutable display of logic such as that?

We are in extremely good hands with brainpower such as that, tovarisch!

(Runs out of room screaming...)

(Follows Comrade Redumdimski down the hall, briefly... and returns)

Not to worry - he'll be back. And I made him an appointment at JiffyLobo™ for first thing in the morning.

Redumdimski and ROCK, hear me. I am an old, established, wizened prog. I love everybody equally, except me, of course, whom I adore. My equanimity comes from my enlightened world view.

Neither of you really understands the true thrill of proggery. We have Comrade Nanski Peloski telling us about the end of life on this planet as we know it, as she continues to press for what we all know is ruinous.

The reason that it's good to be a made prog is that you just don't care when the stakes get really big. You intend to ride the wave. This is like autoerotic asphyxiation. I've heard Nanski say that the Democrats had cut spending, lowered taxes, and improved the economy, and there might have been a reference to little green men coming out of Harry Reid's ass.

My point is that the very essence of progdom is never having to say you're responsible. And since you don't want responsibility, you do it with other people's money and the real chance to do them harm.

Can't you just feel the adrenaline? I'm starting to twitch in my seat.

Father Prog, I too am twitching in my seat after my most Korrekt (yet highly undignified) JiffyLobo ™! So possibly we are twitching due to different causes. For this I take no responsibility, as you Speak Truth To Power ™ when you say we Progs are not responsible. Unless someone else we actually accomplish something we want to take credit for. Unless it later turns out not to be politically expedient. Ooh - feel dizzy. My recovery from the JiffyLobo ™ is not yet complete.

Tovarisch R.O.C.K. (must find out what that stands for - Respektful Of the Cacaphonous Kollektiv?), a pox on your house thanks for the JiffyLobo ™ appointment you arranged for me. I was dragged away courteously escorted by ex-ACORN thugs who became TSA gropers who transitioned to become JiffyLobo ™ Treatment Applicators who were most disgustingly thorough in their application of the amazing People's Technology underlying the JiffyLobo ™ (is it supposed to be so physical?). You needn't bother to do me a favor like that again!

By the way, it appears some of our Progs in the Kollektiv willingly submit to JiffyLobo ™ s. Are there different types? My experiences so far have been wretchedly painful a little TOO Korrekt.

Redumdimski, I can see that you are callow in the ways of Jiffy-Lobo™. Please relax. It is your best friend. It gets rid of all those annoying thoughts. Do you realize that Janeane Gawdawfulho has had so many treatments that her tongue is pierced? And see what it's done for her? She hasn't said a single thing which was coherent in, well, ever.

Think of Michael Moore. Not even Comradette Nanski thinks that he makes sense. Larry the Cable Guy buys Moore's CDs to level out the couch. That's because he's had so much Jiffy-Lobo.

Be careful of Jiffy-Lobo. It's like coke. Too much is not enough. If you become addicted to Jiffy-Lobo, then you can believe the most astonishing things. In fact you can believe more than TWO DOZEN impossible things before breakfast, pace Lewis Carroll.

Poor Nanski. Between the botox and the Kool-Aide and the Jiffy-Lobo she has to wear ankle weights to keep from being blow away with the wind.

This does not obtain however with our Many Titted Empress. She doesn't need Jiffy-Lobo. Until the advent, sorry, Advent, of Lord Obastard, she was the touchstone for correctness. Correctness flowed out of her ass, and other places, and the result was so sickening that others seceded the field to her.

The moral? Jiffy-Lobo is good for progs like you and me, and I invented Jiffy-Lobo to cure what was wrong with me, but for really high-octane progs like Lord ODimbo or our MTE, there need be no referent.

They are, wait for this...the successor to ManBearPig. The Prog Who Will Come.

Forgive me for this

Commissar_Elliott, one does not need to forgive the Goodness of our Korrektly functioning Pogrom Program Agent Smith. No doubt you recognized the inspiration for the call to People's Action! that this humble comrade referenced. Thank you for incorporating that most heartfelt rallying cry of the beloved Smith.

When Next Tuesday ™ arrives I hope to share a beet with you in celebration.

Tovarisch Father Prog, I shall take to heart your words of advice and encouragement. It is indeed helpful to recognize that so many equally top-ranking Progs owe much of their success to the excessive regular abuse application of the famed Jiffy-Lobo ™. Nanski, Michael Moore-and-Moore, J. Gawdawfulho; the list is doubtless long and distinguished. Hope-and-Changefully after a sufficient number of applications my capacity to believe multiple simultaneous impossibilities will increase also. Anything to decrease the capacity of rational thought is to be welcomed by all good Progs.

I did not realize that it was the MTE (shudder) who was superseded by Dear Leader Husseinovich. It was so apparent when He exploded on the scene that Korrektness flowed out of His every Orifice that any thought of another who could even hope to approach His caliber was simply swept aside. No outside intervention required to artificially augment that gaping abyss of Korrektness!

It is of equally supreme happiness that this humble People's servant is able to communicate with the Father of the JiffyLobo ™. Your name is spoken in the same breath as the proud Prog Father of the INTERNET, the Gaia-blessed AlGore!

Redumdimski, thank you; you are most kind. And I see that you have learned the first lesson of The Cube: suck up. Always present a good face so that when your new best friend turns his back, he won't be watching it.

Ah, you're making this old prog's rheumy eyes water with fond remembrance. How many necks felt the sole of my boot? How many shoulders are bent with my weight? How many wounds in how many backs? I may be getting old, dear comrade, and sentimental.

I also much like your simultaneous multiple possibilities. I happen to have been listening to Douglas Adams read his Hitchhiker series which relies heavily on probabilities.

How improbable that you would have brought up something like that.

My liking for your thinking comes from the fact that we can use this multiple simultaneous possibilities, derived no doubt from quantum mechanics. This means that we can borrow all the money that we want and in some other outcome, there is a bonanza of a quadrillion dollars from Pixie-Dust Energy™ and dogs quit biting and the fat, lazy, second-generation welfare queen client of the state and victim of the RethuglKKKan party will carry out the groceries she got for free on her Lone Star card instead of insisting they be taken out for her, while a middle-aged man with a heart problem does it himself.

So you see how useful your insight is. Do what we want, and know what in SOME other universe, your complete and total irresponsibility and contempt are unimportant.

And do not think that it might be a universe in which you are dead.

Father Prog, no other ideological group knows better than we Progs that since we, the Enlightened Ones, the Elite, "make [the rules] up as we go along", we are always in danger of breaking rules that "everyone knows" even though someone has to trespass against one that no one knew about for anyone to know a transgression was committed, then we all shake our sage heads sadly that anyone could make such a grievous error, and promptly have some toady toss said transgressor out with the garbage. (Wow! This JiffyLobo ™ stuff is great!) So it is essential to always put our politically Korrekt face on - then when one of us drops our guard and turns his back, another can slip the knife in. Yes! I see the wisdom and logic in the Korrektness you present. Your Progdom is indeed overwhelming.

This also explains how we Progs can worship one of our own one day and toss him out the next when someone more Proggish comes along. We can't be tied down to old-school concepts like loyalty and consistency, whatever they are. Our god is anyone who says what our itching ears want to hear, louder than anyone else is saying it at the moment. And no one had better dare say a Higher Authority (such as this peculiar "God" these stupid luddite backward racist homophobe terrorist Christians espouse) than we exists. We are not even responsible to ourselves, and no one - except The One, who today happens to be Dear Leader Husseinovich - is greater than us.

We needn't fear death, since life is so trivial - as long as we can pursue whatever happiness we can derive from JiffyLobos ™, the MTE, and others like her, and fawn over The One. We must realize, though, that we are insatiable - even total control of all that is or will be is not enough, sort of like James Bond but substitute "Multiverse" for "World". We may not be able to define it. But it is ours, oh yes it is, oh Yes We Can ™!

Redumdimski wrote:Our god is anyone who says what our itching ears want to hear, louder than anyone else is saying it at the moment.

Indeed, indeed. At first I was a total whore for any soothsayer, in particular anyone who told me that I was great, wonderful, superlative, when in face I had done nothing. Then as I matured, and walked along the Prog's Path to maturity, I realized that I was the one to supply the sooth. Or the pseudo-sooth, for we deal in emotions only and fweelings, and there is no sooth in that.

Now I egest the Current Truth™. Forsooth, it's the Current Truth™. I pull reality out my ass, and I'm only following in the great traditions of Lord Obozo, Our Many Titted Empress, Herr Peyronie Bill, the Anile Jimmih Carter, John Edwards (either one), and any number of other splendiferous progs who have done nothing except vomit themselves (an interesting idea in and of itself) onto the public stage where they can caper to their heart's desire and to the overturning of our stomaches.

Yes, life is trivial because we are not entirely yet wrapped in the totalitarian embrace of the Government Which Does All. It cares for us from birth to death, and it doesn't matter if the death if accelerated.

Father Prog, you may accuse yourself of once having been a total whore but the total whores today are the Repubican'ts, our friends who have shown their truly prodigious Progossity in that the best they can do is promised cuts that will never be honored, spending that will be effective immediately, agreement to no Obamacare or other entitlements on the table, and tax increases that won't be called that. All for said sooth that they won't get anyway because the geezer Repubican'ts Boehner, McConnell, et al, have not attained the maturity that you had when you were twenty. You and all us Progs korrektly note that emotions and feelings trump truth (but we know there is no truth but what we make) in our Prog Paradise. And our promising love and adoration to our Repubican't puppets and putting on a little heartlessfelt theater with our dear Gabby is more than enough payment to buy them all, those stinking Repubican't dog terrorists holding guns to the proletariat's heads.

We are well on our way in the USSA to joining our Socialist brothers and sisters in Europe, Asia, Africa, the Middle East, South America, Central America, the Container of Nada, and Australia in the fulfillment of the New Socialist Utopia that is irrevocably, unstoppably (simply because no one has the courage to stop us, that is the secret we need not reveal) barrelling headlong at us at a continuously accelerating rate. We can but will into reality that the World Of Next Tuesday ™ will be here by Thursday as we celebrate the Divine Blessing Of The One arriving in our midst. Surely the acceleration of certain deaths, required of those useless proles (but not us, da? Keep your eyes peeled) who cannot or will not serve The State, is a small price (really, a BENEFIT) to pay for the Government Which Does All.

Forever more the lie is the truth that we averted the Destruction Of The World because of the Repubican'ts willingness to join our Prog brothers and sisters in the crushing, implacably grinding political machine Magical Mystery Tour that is the USSA's capital. The USSA is well on the path to collapse, and we rejoice!

Redumdimski, I appreciate your foregoing screed, er, adumbration but do you think that you might be a bit overdue for Jiffy-Lobo™? After all, this is the best of all possible worlds, as Dr. Pangloss Boehner said.


I really don't know what to make of this. The moonbats are howling; Krugman is hysterical, and that's a GOOD sign. Paul Ryan said they got 2/3 of what they wanted. But the worst harbinger came from Pat Caddell, a Democrat who realized that his party is insane, who excoriated both parties and said that the Republicans gave Obama what he needed over extending the Bush tax cuts, and now that they gave him what he needed, not to have to fight this battle again until after the election.

But then Dick Morris, slimy, sniggering Dick Morris, said that it was great.

It's done. Let's consider that it's better than nothing, and also that the automatic spending cuts will be painful to both sides equally: defense for Republicans, Medigraft for Democrats.

Father Prog Theocritus wrote:It's done. Let's consider that it's better than nothing, and also that the automatic spending cuts will be painful to both sides equally: defense for Republicans, Medigraft for Democrats.

Father Prog,

Out of all the bickering and caterwauling of both sides of their mouths, the theatre and drama were always about the illusion. Just as the orange glow of Boe-ner's skin reminds us that Mars does exist, so goes this dog and pony show to give us the impression... the illusion if you will, that something—something—was actually done on behalf of the proletariat and for the common Kollektive™.

Why, we heard words and phrases and polling data thrown about like a bunch of dirty diapers, feces spraying everywhere, just to see if they would stick to some surface. And the ones they did end up peeling off are the ones they high-fived and chest-bumped all the way to Obambi's desk for his strange nom de plume

It's not that this bill will do any good, or change anything of the current situation we are in. Afterall, Obizbo is taking his Peoples Bulldozer™ and leveling the field that the Bushitler created since the beginning of current history 8 very long years ago. This is necessay for the building of the new O'mansions that will be coming soon to a neighborhood near you.

So what we really don't need is anything of substance to get in the way of the Peoples Bulldozer™. All we need is our ears tickled, our senses sensated and just the illusion that something was done on our behalf.

Isn't that the pure essence of Progdom? Creating a convincing illusion of a reality we all wished would be?

Napalm in the morning is none the sweeter a fair rose, is a rose, is a rose, is a rose, is a rose... than Father Prog tanning a newly hided prole by moonlight. Sleep well Redumdimski, cocks crow in the morning, we as it may be in the dawn after the languid lashing, a sun kissed hide of the beet rows makes for a fine weather worker, alas the pickled prole serves Dear Leader best.

Hail Obama!

RR, I never tan a newly slaughtered prole by the moonlight. I have people who do that for me. What, do you think that I am Father Prog for nothing?

Nanski had her own jet, just so she didn't have to stop for fuel as she rode back to San Francisco to the Mother Moonbat Cave. It was hard on her to have to stop; she wasn't used to that when she merely flew her broomstick.

Of course the difficulty was in getting a broomstick comfortable enough for her and which could respond to the VORs. Our Many Titted Empress did a great deal to perfect broomstick navigation by VOR, but still it is not perfect. That's because the White House, when our MTE was in it, didn't have enough room on the roof for a good VOR signal.

Good Father Prog, it is indeed the best of all possible worlds. We have made it; therefore it cannot be better unless we decide to make it even better still in The World of Next Tuesday ™. You can no doubt share an observation with poor, tragic Macbeth: "... if thy speech be sooth, / I care not if thou dost for me as much. / I pull in resolution, and begin / To doubt the equivocation of the fiend / That lies like truth..."

Brave Corporeal, as you know, the show goes on, and on, and on. Well you have taken to heart that in Obamaville Washington, "Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player / That struts and frets his hour upon the stage / And then is heard no more: it is a tale / Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, / Signifying nothing."

It is indeed a show put on by the Ruling Class to fool the proles into thinking it's all done For The People ™! Truth is irrelevant. Image is all. Image and POWER to rule over the people.

Tovarisch Red Rooster, methinks a bit of the Bard resides in yon Soul (not Kia) of yours. Sweeter syllables seldom flow from any other stylus (keyboard).