Brigid Delaney, a fitness writer recently told the story of how she stopped going to the gym because of Trump.

I stopped going to the gym because of Trump. Now I can't open jars

It was November 2016 and the only person I knew who believed Trump would win the US election was the owner of my gym. This was clearly a ridiculous prediction so, seeing the chance for some easy money, I offered to bet him $100 that Hillary would win.

But the gym owner, clearly not wanting to do his dough, pointed at this horrible thing in the corner with the name “sled” and said: “If Trump wins you have to pull 70kg on it.”

It was double what I could usually pull. And, if I won the bet, the gym owner would pull double his personal best…

According to the book Trump Revealed: “Trump believed the human body was like a battery, with a finite amount of energy, which exercise only depleted. So he didn't work out. When he learned that John O'Donnell, one of his top casino executives, was training for an Ironman triathlon, he admonished him, ‘You are going to die young because of this.'”

I didn't want to die young, so I didn't go to the gym.

Now she claims that because of Trump, she is so weak she can't open a jar!

Sounds to me like she just cheap and welshed on a bet.

Did she check with the jar-openers' union before attempting this act of jar opening?

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RedDiaperette wrote:Did she check with the jar-openers' union before attempting this act of jar opening?

I've checked my Ministry's records and I can confirm that she used to be a member of that union, but when she stopped performing her hand exercises she couldn't perform the duties expected of her as a member of the union, so she was laid off. The union's been dissolved because they couldn't find any women who could open jars and thus couldn't meet their diversity quotas. Now thousands of women will starve.

All because of Trump.

Trump also made me fat after I stopped exercising!