Dear Comrades,

The Department of Socialist Education has received orders from Comrade FLATUS Michelle Frasierovna Obama to remove all engines from school buses in the USSA in order to help our Young Socialists meet their weight loss quotas. Called ‘Walking Schoolbuses,' the engine-less buses will help students burn off excess calories from fast food, while building up their appetites for school meal programs.

Comrade Michelle has long been concerned about the weight problems of the children of improperly indoctrinated workers and peasants, who still continue to feed our communally-nurtured children meals not found in the official State Menu of Approved Foods. These children not only become obese, but also suffer from debilitating hunger which decreases their test scores and cause undue stress on State teachers and school administrators because of their constant worries over the survival of these children.

Therefore, Comrade Michelle, in her compassion for the Masses, has decreed that school buses with engines are indeed manifestations of bourgeois decadence, leading children to believe that internal combustion engines are somehow beneficial and that fossil fuels contribute to their standard of living. All honest citizens know that fossil fuels are in fact highly toxic to the environment, and a higher quality of life demands a cleaner environment with fewer engines on the road.

As the State implements the new program, students will be mandated to leave for school earlier than they have previously been required. In most school districts, students will be required to assemble at the bus yard to begin pushing their buses to school through their usual routes. Drivers will continue to steer the bus from inside, and apply the breaks and proper lights as necessary.

Educational specialists are working on special ‘busing songs' to help students lift their spirits while pushing their buses, not unlike the songs soldiers sing while marching. These songs will also indoctrinate students into the joys of Socialism and communal work.

The Commission for School Meal Preparation has instructed the Directorate for Calorie Monitoring to prepare new guidelines for school meal calorie contents, taking into account the extra calories students will need to push their buses to and from school, while factoring in potential unhealthy foods introduced into their diets through uncooperative parents. The Party has informed the Commission that it expects calorie projections to fall within a 30-calorie tolerance for each pupil.

Comrade Michelle's two children also participate in the program, riding in armored limousines pushed by a contingent of Secret Service agents.

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

That bike-bus actually looks like it would be a lot of fun.

Comrade Brain in Jar, after sufficient beet vodka intake I suspect you may be correct! We should order a couple of these for the next Cube get together.

Comrade Climber, I assume that this "30-calorie tolerance" for each people would be within a maximum of 200, yes?

Ivan Betinov wrote:That bike-bus actually looks like it would be a lot of fun.

Yes it does indeed. However, I type this from the comforts of my 72 degree people's dwelling. In the state of Texas the ramifications of global-warming climate change would make Queen Obama's bike bus most unbearable. I guess its a small price to pay for burning calories while saving the planet from the evil fossil fuels of a real bus.

Perhaps we could pedal them, post-vodka-intake, in the People's Gym (air conditioned by creepy ass crackas pedaling big fan devices).

Hmmmm. There's a not so secret project at a local university where all seats from the school bus have been removed except the driver's, and replaced with treadmills to provide the motive power. While possibility of success is optimal at this time, (the only bug being insufficient energy provided to the wheels by the first kids on the bus and the Transportation Dept. complaints about lack of active restraints even though there are no Seats to attach the damned belts to), that the program will be killed by the Dept. of Labor due to charges of unlawful Child Labor even though they will not be employed or compensated except for beneficial loss of excess weight. But Not before the grant money has all been spent. In any case there will be no Commissar's Limos for this bunch.

It's obvious that the woman driving the bike bus is an evil Rethuglikan. Just look at how she uses free child labor to move her privileged white carcass around.

Capt. Commie wrote:It's obvious that the woman driving the bike bus is an evil Rethuglikan. Just look at how she uses free child labor to move her privileged white carcass around.

I am not so sure about that, Capt. She could be a loyal party member who is getting them physically ready for their shovel ready jobs.

El Presidente wrote:

Capt. Commie wrote:It's obvious that the woman driving the bike bus is an evil Rethuglikan. Just look at how she uses free child labor to move her privileged white carcass around.

I am not so sure about that, Capt. She could be a loyal party member who is getting them physically ready for their shovel ready jobs.

I'm going with evil Rethuglikan on the bike bus. The Child of The Collective™ sitting way in the back looks less cracka white than the other kids. I would not be surprised if she was doing all of the pedaling either.

El Presidente wrote:

de_cafe_racer_pedal_school_bus.gif

From the Communist Manifesto-

The bourgeois claptrap about the family and education, about the hallowed correlation of parents and child, becomes all the more disgusting, the more, by the action of Modern Industry, all the family ties among the proletarians are torn asunder, and their children transformed into simple articles of commerce and instruments of labor.

Anyer Marx wrote:

El Presidente wrote:

Capt. Commie wrote:It's obvious that the woman driving the bike bus is an evil Rethuglikan. Just look at how she uses free child labor to move her privileged white carcass around.

I am not so sure about that, Capt. She could be a loyal party member who is getting them physically ready for their shovel ready jobs.

I'm going with evil Rethuglikan on the bike bus. The Child of The Collective™ sitting way in the back looks less cracka white than the other kids. I would not be surprised if she was doing all of the pedaling either.

Comrade Marx I do believe you are on to something here. This privileged white woman has made this child of color go to the back of the bus!!

Anyer Marx wrote:

El Presidente wrote:

Capt. Commie wrote:It's obvious that the woman driving the bike bus is an evil Rethuglikan. Just look at how she uses free child labor to move her privileged white carcass around.

I am not so sure about that, Capt. She could be a loyal party member who is getting them physically ready for their shovel ready jobs.

I'm going with evil Rethuglikan on the bike bus. The Child of The Collective™ sitting way in the back looks less cracka white than the other kids. I would not be surprised if she was doing all of the pedaling either.

An astute observation, Marx. I did not notice the non Cracka in the back of the bus doing all of the work. I stand KKKoreKted.

As long as I don't have to sit next to the stinky boy from the other side of the street, I don't care what kind of bus I ride.

Taking this to the next logical step - when the kids are finished pushing the bus home from school offer them a ride on this: (although you risk a child abuse lawsuit)

Captain Squirrel, that device is not OSHA approved. There is no cup holder on it.