FLOTUS GETS ROLLING WITH ADVICE FROM PETA KIDS

The annual White House Easter Egg roll could get an ethical upgrade this year if Moochelle just follows the advice of Ingrid Newkirk, President of PETA.

After 135 years of White House Easter Egg Rolls, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) is pressuring Michelle Obama to use fake Easter eggs at next Monday’s event. Those adorable PETA kids will tug at your heart with this sensible and humane message.

“For chickens on egg factory farms, Easter is not a time of renewal or joy. It can take up to 34 hours in typically hellish conditions for a hen to produce just one of the thousands of eggs slated to be used at the Easter Egg Roll.

Furthermore, encouraging the consumption of cruelly sourced, unhealthy eggs is inconsistent with the goals of the ’Let’s Move!’ initiative.

Eggs are laden with saturated animal fat and cholesterol, which are primary contributors to some of our nation’s top killers, including heart disease and strokes. One single large egg contains more cholesterol than two Big Mac (evil McDonalds) sandwiches do. It’s the wrong message to send to children.”


 

Is not FLATUS the correct term?
 

First Lady Above The United States. Yes.
 

And you, the viewers at home, will note FLATUS's remarkable egg shape her very own self.

Coincidence?
 

Comrades, at long last, PETA, is forcing us to confront the latest atrocity being committed right here at the People’s House. It’s bad enough that these children will be forever emotionally scarred by some authoritarian person wearing an Chew-Backa style costume in blue or pink, but why should we inspire another ABU-Ghraibesque atrocity in which hundreds of chickens are forced to produce unborn chickens, hard boiled in hand painted shells and never given a chance to attend an abortion rally and have denied these creatures their Constitutional right to vote! Why should we as a nation, step back and helplessly watch innocent children, fenced in to an enclosed area, like Bundy’s cattle, forced to collect these brightly colored chicken embryos when the temperatures across the fruited plain are rivaling those on Arrkis’s surface. Comrades, why should we celebrate consumerist rituals when our ecosystem is on the verge of collapse? Yes, Comrade PolPotLuckSupper, Flat U.S.
 

Comrades, as a spokesman for PETB (People for the Ethical Treatment of Beets) I demand beets replace those gosh-awful eggs for the "Color Challenged" Peoples House "Anytitle to Diminish a Religious Holiday" egg roll. These little jewels will grow on most any Kulaks small garden, and are wonderful for making salad, vodka, or hay with starving Kulaks wives. There are many party approved uses, why not rolling across the grass trying to distract children from a religious holiday?
 

Here we see another young "parrot" practicing senseless babble while simultaneously trying to steal money from someone's purse! A two-fer! I see great things ahead for this up and coming party member!


 

Seems like I remember FEMA being called out last time FLATUS was rolled..


(edited: new photos because size matters)ma
 

Soviet Mike Komsomolets

The annual White House Easter Egg roll could get an ethical upgrade this year if Moochelle just follows the advice of Ingrid Newkirk, President of PETA.

After 135 years of White House Easter Egg Rolls, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) is pressuring Michelle Obama to use fake Easter eggs at next Monday’s event. Those adorable PETA kids will tug at your heart with this sensible and humane message.

“For chickens on egg factory farms, Easter is not a time of renewal or joy. It can take up to 34 hours in typically hellish conditions for a hen to produce just one of the thousands of eggs slated to be used at the Easter Egg Roll.

Furthermore, encouraging the consumption of cruelly sourced, unhealthy eggs is inconsistent with the goals of the ’Let’s Move!’ initiative.

Eggs are laden with saturated animal fat and cholesterol, which are primary contributors to some of our nation’s top killers, including heart disease and strokes. One single large egg contains more cholesterol than two Big Mac (evil McDonalds) sandwiches do. It’s the wrong message to send to children.”






To paraphrase with substitution: “For chickens poor blacks on egg factory farms in the urban ghetto, Easter is not a time of renewal or joy. It can take up to 34 hours 9 months in typically hellish conditions run down tenements for a hen woman to produce just one of the thousands of eggs millions of embryos slated to be used aborted at the Easter Egg Roll local clinic."
 

Tovarichi

Seems like I remember FEMA being called out last time FLATUS was rolled..




 

Great Lenin's Ghost!
 

Captain, don't count my pixels before they hatch...

I copy the link, as RED SQUARE taught me to do. I do not have the powers to re-size the work of others as do the Party Leadership...

and nobody likes a squirrel tattle-tail.
 

What the fool is that a picture of?
 

Ivan Betinov

What the fool is that a picture of?
Indeed. Felines of the South Bronx do not understand all this greenery. Tovarichi, please to explain.
 

ok gang, its a photo of a path of destruction, from FLATUS being rolled. I'll find another picture...
 

That's what I'm talking about Ambassador Tovarichi. Ya know, when you think about the story of the passion (persecution, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ), you naturally think of how our Dear Leader is a perfect model/metaphor don't you agree? Only CI-7 can best explain it for you non-believers...


 

Only the Most Reverend Al could weave such a heart wrenching tale to transform the story that sustains a subversive cult into a message of Hope and Change, glorifying Dear Leader!

"....for every crucifixion, there is a resurrection...."

You know what this means, comrades?

From now on, firing squads, only!
 

Tovarichi

Captain, don't count my pixels before they hatch...

I copy the link, as RED SQUARE taught me to do. I do not have the powers to re-size the work of others as do the Party Leadership...

and nobody likes a squirrel tattle-tail.
The Party loves tattle-tales! They are a most important link in the chains of slavery binding our oppressors! I suggest you tread lightly, Comrade. Your thought crimes have been duly noted.
 

PolPotLuckSupper

Tovarichi

Captain, don't count my pixels before they hatch...

I copy the link, as RED SQUARE taught me to do. I do not have the powers to re-size the work of others as do the Party Leadership...

and nobody likes a squirrel tattle-tail.
The Party loves tattle-tales! They are a most important link in the chains of slavery binding our oppressors! I suggest you tread lightly, Comrade. Your thought crimes have been duly noted.

Based on the facts as understood, I must agree. But to be fair, Tovarichi partially redeems himself by implicating RED SQUARE in the atrocity. A beginning, Comrade Tovarichi - but only a beginning.
 

I'll thank you to keep your species-ist hate speech addressed to rodents and associated marsupials, and off the interwebs. Comrade Darwin says my ancestors evolved up the food chain while yours peaked out. Deal with it. Even so, "why can't we all just get along.

 

The "Human" Creature Tovarichi

I'll thank you to keep your species-ist hate speech addressed to rodents and associated marsupials, and off the interwebs. Comrade Darwin says my ancestors evolved up the food chain while yours peaked out. Deal with it. Even so, "why can't we all just get along.