Comrades!

In the wake of the unfortunate disaster in Haiti it seems that your attention has been turned away from saving one of the Party's most valuable agitprop tools: Global Climate Change! Keeping this propped up in all the public venues should be a top Party priority.

Yes I will admit there have been some casualties along the way not least of which is our talking head and science illiterate Comrade Gore. However, there have been other heroes to the cause who will be purged from our collective memorydeserve special mention .

Who could forget the following:

Keith "One Tree" Briffa

Michael "Hockey Schtick" Mann.

James "Data Hider & Data Distorter" Hansen

Phil "Cover Your Tracks
& Data Destroyer" Jones

William "Revisionist Historian,
AGW Apologist & Chief
Wikipedia Re-Writer" Connolley


Yes these valliant "scientists" all sacrificed their careers to further our Global Climate Change Agenda. Sadly, now they have all retreated to that "Scientific Alamo" RealClimate.org where they will no longer be forced to answer any difficult climate science questions.

Comrades, there is only one reason why our carefully crafted claims of Climate Change failed...Sabotage!

And worse, these saboteurs must have had inside help. I believe the suspects pictured above are in fact the real shills of Big Oil.

I denounce them one and all and demand a speedy show trial and execution for crimes against the People and planet Earth.

If nothing else, the next crew we invest with the task of duping the public will be more careful in safeguarding their corrupted data.

Robot, you are spinning your wheels and gears for nothing. The science is settled. Proper scientific method has been followed: politicians decided what the correct results were to be and the data was manipulated to fit!

We must move on to more important things, like why the voters of Massachusetts are still so mad at George Bush when Obama has been president for more than a year!

Comrades,

Our father Stalin once noted that "The death of one man is a tragedy; of millions, a statistic." Being a concerned environmentalist with a "Save the Planet: Eat Your Kids" bumpersticker proudly displayed on the Prius I drive when I can't bicycle, I think we can say the Haitians are doing more to save the planet than anyone else.

Except me.

Now, were Al Gore to have died after flying in to Haiti on his private jet to rightfully blame the US for tectonic hegemony, that would be a quandary. His death would be a tragedy, yet his millions would be a statistic. I think the answer out of this dilemma is that his millions, appropriated by the EPA, would thus render his death an international cause celebre.

Tovarich, Comrade Stalin was a TRUE humanitarian. He loved humanity so much, he was willing to kill most of it in order to save it, if that's what it took (and he would probably have made SURE that's what it took.)

Today's eco-terrorists environmentalists are made of the same cloth. I have stumbled upon their psychotic impassioned ramblings on other blogs, speculating how they were going to make sure that once the damage to Gaia caused by the global warming deniers becomes apparent, the deniers would be tried and executed (no doubt about the verdict at all) in punishment for their destructive hateful opinions. It is fascinating, damn near hypnotic in fact, to read their invective; I half expected to come across a posting like "SUPPORT RATIONAL THOUGHT OR I'LL KILL YOU!!!!" on these blogs. (In fact, I wonder if it was a Leftist that originally said that?)

And yes, it would be a tragedy if we were to somehow lose Comrade Al. For one thing, it would mean people like Ed Begley would have to fart louder in order to drown out the sound of collapsing AGW theories. I'm not sure he is capable of it. But I'm sure he'll give it his peer-reviewed best effort.

Thank goodness these brilliant minds are on our side.

If they put their minds to making Bushitler look good by letting people know that there were numerous terrorist camps already established in Iraq, and that alone made the invasion of Iraq worth it, not to mention the $25,000 that Comrade Saddam gave to the family of any brave Palestinian Freedom Fighter upon his death, and other obscure facts no one needs to know, it would put me, for one, into a tizzy.

But I digress, their specialty is Climate Change, now isn't it? No matter. Disinformation is disinformation, no matter what field we are discussing, and no one does it better than them. I love lying to myself and others. Don't you?

Comrade Opiate,

Your deferential words of praise for Comrade Stalin have brought a tear to my eye, which I will ladle into a rivulet to help raise the falling seas rising due to global warming.

I've not seen much of Al lately. Perhaps President Gore has gone missing to bring the "Gore effect" to the Himalayas to make those glaciers keep start growing again.

When this report was issued, Raj Pachauri, the IPCC chairman, denounced it as ‘voodoo science'.


You've got to love this guy................... If ever there was a poster child, he's it. I propose a caption contest with possibly a "Beet of the Week" prize from dear Pinkie.

Surely some churl will make a joke about how the proof of catastrophic global warming has disappeared as smoothly as that joint Pachauri was holding.