Ohio prosecutor seeks death penalty for Punxsutawney Phil after bad forecast

Comrades, this is an outrage, and deserves our attention, action, donations, and organization of the community by such as the Organizer in Chief!

Rethugglikan prosecutor of Ohio, (a land of Dear Leader [PBUH] at some point in time) has the pig-headed idea "that the death penalty be implemented to the defendant, Punxsutawney Phil."

For what, you ask? the crime of an error (and using government approved Science).

This George Bush think-alike alleges that "record-low temperatures have been and are predicted to continue in the near future, which constitutes the offense of MISREPRESENTATION OF EARLY SPRING, a Unclassified Felony, and against the peace and dignity of the State Of Ohio.

IF this travesty proceeds, what will the Children™ look forward to in February? I WANT ACTION! (and a larger vodka ration.)

Ohio is unfair to rodents, with the exception of those in the blue counties.

NEWS UPDATE!!!

Phil has been spotted fleeing from Pennsylvania with another wanted fugitive. His accomplice is also wanted by authorities for being a climate fraud co-conspirator. Both parties were seen fleeing in an environmentally unfriendly combustible engine motor vehicle. It is believed that both parties may be headed to the local airport to board a private jet. Please keep a look out! These suspects are armed with stupidity and are considered by most rational observers, and massage therapists, to be dangerous.

El Presidente wrote:NEWS UPDATE!!!

Phil has been spotted fleeing from Pennsylvania with another wanted fugitive. His accomplice is also wanted by authorities for climate fraud. Both parties were seen fleeing in an environmentally unfriendly combustible engine motor vehicle. It is believed that both parties may be headed to the local airport to board a private jet. Please keep a look out! These suspects are armed with stupidity and are considered by most rational observers to be dangerous.

Another 'NEWS UPDATE!'

Phil and family ditches Al...

I denounce Punxsutawney Phil as an Enemy of the State for spreading disinformation about climate change and because he looks like a large, delicious rat.

We cannot have Phil mispronouncing denouncements on February and climate warming changes (that is correct, right???) I agree he should be disposed of with haste and hash browns!

As a recent recipient of a Goodies package from LaRue Tactical in Texas - which included, among other things, an Armadillo Beverage Entry Tool and a bottle of 'Dillo Rub meat seasoning - I cannot help but wonder: is 'Dillo Rub appropriate for broiled groundhog?

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:I cannot help but wonder: is 'Dillo Rub appropriate for broiled groundhog?

Comrade R.O.C.K., I am confident that after several uses of the Beverage Entry Tool, Dillo Rub will be found appropriate for any application.

Dejavu.

Phil is going nowhere. Since the Sequester™ it is widely known that President Barack Obama (PBUH) has been living entirely off the animals from The National Zoo. Just prior to his summit (VACATION) in Israel, Dear leader was seen, slaying the remainder of the fluffy zoo animals, for another exotic meal for Michelle his family. Since times are tough, and we all must pitch in, president Obama (PBUH) has closed Pennsylvania to the public, and has decided to hunt the land for groundhogs. All groundhogs will soon feel the wrath of President Bronco Obama.

This is very dangerous ground Comrades. Prosecutor in Ohio now has the burden of proof similar to that of Comrade Commissar Feinstein who believes Guns cause crime and death, which they cannot unless a human predator uses it as such. And so this poor Grounhog who is unemployed except one day every year, has joined the pilloried armed citizens as social pariah, da? It is the human element; again in need of much correction. Comrade Phil is said to have predicted an early spring but said nothing to that effect. And is now blamed for Causing our continuing freezing condition as we longingly watch the Golf Channel and follow Grapefruit League baseball. The comparison to Comrade Commissar AlGore should bode well. Is much ado about nothing. Comrade Phil is said to recommend solution of former Comrade Chairman and Buffoon in Chief, Carter. So just put on a sweater Comrade Prosecutor, and listen to NPR or something. What scares me is that so many like him become Judges. Let's not go there.....

Al Gore is one weird dude... don't ya think?!

If Phil gets the death penalty, there are hundreds of Michigan weather snorecasters who will be shaking in their stillettos.