Everything is fine! Everything is fine! We are on track for a super, super recovery. Everything is fine here at Party HQ. Uh, people are breaking out the vodka in celebration that, uh, funemployment is up and, and people are having fun. Yes, people are having fun. I think… I think Chuck from accounting… Yes, Chuck from accounting just jumped from the twenty-first floor. OK, well, nothing to see here. Everything is fine. We're doing good, the White House is happy with these numbers and, well, we're all good here. Everyone is drinking, happy, and… OK, Susan just jumped out the window. We are going to have to get some birthday cake or something as an incentive to keep staff from offing themselves. Do we have any cake? Is anyone having a birthday today? We need some cake.

Phew, deep breaths. Deep breaths. OK, well, uh, everyone just keep doing what you're doing and remember your Republicans-ending-medicare-as-we-know-it talking-points. Yes, everything is fine. Well, I'm going back to my office now to curl up into a tight little fetal position and, uh, I'm going to sob for a few hours. Uh, if anyone wants to talk about anything at all, I will… I will leave the office's therapeutic sock puppet outside my door and you can, uh, you can talk to that for a while if you have a problem.

*slams door*

PEOPLE'S UPDATE:


See, I was worried about all this funemployment going on, and then David Plouffe -- sweet, sweet little David Plouffe -- wipes away my tears and pats me on the bottom reassuring me that everything is going to be OK.

The Hill wrote:Plouffe, who ran Obama's 2008 presidential campaign, previewed the arguments the president and his team will sound 16 months before an election that could be a referendum on Obama's handling of the economy. While history has shown the unemployment rate to be a leading indicator of an incumbent's success, Plouffe said Americans won't base their votes on it.

“The average American does not view the economy through the prism of GDP or unemployment rates or even monthly jobs numbers,” Plouffe said. “People won't vote based on the unemployment rate, they're going to vote based on: ‘How do I feel about my own situation? Do I believe the president makes decisions based on me and my family?'”

You can read the full article here: https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/170309-plouffe-says-jobs-rate-not-key-in-2012

I feel better. Does everyone else feel better knowing that jobs and economic growth are not important? Thank Dodd for David Plouffe.

Meow, why are you being so histrionic? I recall well the time that you stole a bottle pills from me (you thought it was speed; it was roofies) and you woke up in Mao's coffin with my empty pill bottle and an empty bottle of Jack Black. Jack Black will do it to you any time. I don't keep it in the house. Just imagine Bruno on Jack Black. I've seen it, when our Many Titted Empress came to the Rancho, tore into my Jack Black, jumped on Bruno and rode him like a rented mule, then held his head back, pinched his nostrils and forced him to inhale a cup of it. It was not pretty.

Why though do you worry about jobs? As dear Rahm Emanuel said, never waste a crisis and this is a crisis. We have Nanski Peloski in Lala-Land denying that there is a problem. We have Harry Reid doing the same thing. Don't you believe them?

They're muscular prog. Despite being old and frail, their fingers have a bite on your wallet that puts a Doberman's jaw muscles to shame. I know that once Nanski was at the San Francisco Zoo and she clenched her fist and a hyena ran, screaming, for cover.

So what's the problem? Jobs? It is to laugh. It's force. As we have always said, the cure for weak liberalism is strong communism.

Suspicion breeds confidence.

Informing breeds strength.

Oh yeah, Meow and his roofies. Here's some raw footage at the funemployment rave Meow is throwing...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJxH2Hc ... ature=fvwp

Don't worry, the democrats are crafting new legislation that will save you from the bad economy. Dodd-Frank are coming up with a new Act that will level all buildings to just one story. This will create jobs and save you from yourselves.

Feel better now, commie rat pinko moonbat nutjob progs?

We need the regulations in Atlas Shrugged where no one could own more than one business. And of course they made sure that the elevators didn't go above the first dozen floors in a building. Why? Save the money and with all the businesses being regulated and taxed out of existence so the Mother Country can take care of us, we don't need that office space.

So we should turn it into Gulags for ThoughtCriminals.

Father Prog Theocritus wrote:Meow, why are you being so histrionic? I recall well the time that you stole a bottle pills from me (you thought it was speed; it was roofies) and you woke up in Mao's coffin with my empty pill bottle and an empty bottle of Jack Black.

Ugh, pills and more pills. I do miss my pills. I had pills for morning, lunch, dinner, and for when I would get the vapors when Her Excellency would squeeze herself into one of my French second empire arm chairs. I miss Her Excellency and the sound her trotters would make scraping against a marble floor. Sometimes I think we made a mistake with Obama, and then I see the way the economy is sputtering and remember why I pulled that lever (multiple times) for O.

Laika: We all need a rave once in a while, and luckily for us the stimulus is paying for the one we are having this Monday.

$.$. Halliburton wrote:Don't worry, the democrats are crafting new legislation that will save you from the bad economy. Dodd-Frank are coming up with a new Act that will level all buildings to just one story. This will create jobs and save you from yourselves.

Feel better now, commie rat pinko moonbat nutjob progs?

Thank Doddess! You see, Dodd understands that government social spending is vital to our national security. We need one story huts to keep people employed and ensure the terrorist don't win. Remember: the terrorist win if the Republicans End Medicare as We Know It™. Oh yes, they'll win, and they'll win good once they get a hold of Grandma's Medicare check.

Comrades, I am feeling better enough that I, this very day, ordered a Petite Lap Giraffe, direct from the Motherland! I am on waiting list at number 1,186,558, but will be worth the wait.

I know that as member of Elite I could have waited for my government-provided Petite Lap Giraffe, but I heard rumor that it could be almost as long a wait as for toilet paper and beets.

Comrades take heart at the good news!

Was it not the chair lady Nazi who said the leading cause of employment was unemployment.

Some may find that confusing, I do!
The major is off doing none of my business.

Comrades,


these indeed is good news.


Papa Obama in going after our Progressive Utopia has made himself supreme
in destroying jobs- the people will need gov't even more!


Indeed, just before the Capitalists could give us a good screwing over, Papa is the best "Job Blocker" to ever come along

I for one, am very proud of the Obama regime. As we all know......it woulda been much worse under Bush! Barry took over during a recession! Private Jets!

Most Esteemed Chairman Meowsovich wrote:Ugh, pills and more pills. I do miss my pills. I had pills for morning, lunch, dinner, and for when I would get the vapors when Her Excellency would squeeze herself into one of my French second empire arm chairs. I miss Her Excellency and the sound her trotters would make scraping against a marble floor. Sometimes I think we made a mistake with Obama, and then I see the way the economy is sputtering and remember why I pulled that lever (multiple times) for O.

Did you miss the memo from Central Committee (I'm going to stop using the definite article in deference to the Mother Tongue) stating that our Many Titted Empress's trotters no longer be referred to as trotters? They are not even her dogs. They are her slim, svelte feet, and I, as a Made Progressive, want so much to lave her dogs, er, slim, svelte feet, with my tongue. Then burnish the calluses off after a hard day's working for the Oppressed.

How her slim, svelte feet have suffered in her cause for Justice for All. Let's never forget how our MTE gave an award to Anita Hill. Why not? Who better to have an award than a lying law professor calumniating a judge who is conservative, and quelle horreur, black. That's a twofer. I do just wonder though about the structural difficulties. Our dear MTE is not a woman of light build. Will her trotters feet be able to resist the pull of gravity on her ginormous ass?

Still, though, there is nothing more virtuous, really, than shrimping our Many Titted Empress. So enough with the trotters.

Meow...

We are Soooo close, I can almost feel...something...this is weird...feeling...OH YES! Next Tuesday!
Will you throw my "Secretary Day" rave? You still have my stash? Do it before the 15th! Puh...leeeeeeze!

Comrades, relax. Mr. Ploufter is correct. The wee folk are distracted by all the pop culture eye candy on TV these days. They don't care about numbers and stuff. Only us Party elite follow such matters. Heck, I confess I have no idea what it all means. I just pretend to care and clap along when the 5 year plan is declared a success.

And so should you! If you know what's good for you.

Father Prog, definite article is not needed - makes to sound too "unique" or "special" - "equal" much better.

For example, MTE has MTs - and all are equal!

Hillary wrote:Meow...

We are Soooo close, I can almost feel...something...this is weird...feeling...OH YES! Next Tuesday!
Will you throw my "Secretary Day" rave? You still have my stash? Do it before the 15th! Puh...leeeeeeze!

What stash would that be, Madame Secretary? Are we talking the Dept. of State jet-setting stash -- you know, for those large Chinese purchases -- or are we talking about the primary- Obama-because-he-screwed-us-out-of-unlimited-executive-power stash? The Dept. of State stash is getting rather low after you bought Huma that engagement ring to help *ease* her marital troubles. Hmm, maybe Chelsea's banker hubby can pitch in some dough?

Meow, the economy only matters if there is an Republican administration illegally occupying the White House (did you sleep through yet another indoctrination film?) If the economy is booming under a Republican regime, it is because the wealthy are exploiting the working class and raping the rain forests for resources, thus creating scorn and hatred for the United States. Conversely, if the economy is lagging, it is the fault of corporate fat cats flying around in jets and syphoning fuel from the Peoples' cars to fuel their fatcat jetset lifestyle. The slack economy in turn lowers the amount of foreign aid the U.S. can give to other countries to atone for our national sins, thus creating scorn and hatred for the U.S. In either case, the bad guys are the corporations and the enabling mechanism comes from a Republican president, obviously in bed with corporate interests. (Note: this bears absolutely no similarity to the Democratic Party and GE or GM.)

Betinov, you are revealing the play book. Why do this? Oh, I get it. The MSM is so in the tank that it doesn't matter in the slightest. Whatever Lord Obastard says is just fine, and Diane Sawyer has Monica's kneepads autographed. This is of course only for her arthritis.

It's the same thing with climate change. We don't know if it's getting hotter or colder but the cure is the same.

To the wall with reason.

The "official" total is 9.2, the actual total is closer to 3X that number.

Major Mistake's head is on his desk and has not moved for several hours. There has been no gunshot so he is asleep. Poor man works too hard!

Madame Secretary,

How is Huma doing these days? (wink! wink!) Please give my fondest regards to her mother when you see her again. With dear Huma's most influential connections in the Arab theater, she must be an excellent resource in your sensitive relations with our Mooslim Brotherhood Si? PS: Would you like me to whip up a private Secretary's Day luncheon for the two of you? I'm sure Huma is needing a little moral support these days. Perhaps a dish of kunde (Indian black-eyed peas and tomatoes) to remind Huma of her father's homeland? snicker, snicker...