Global Carbon-Sucking Machine To Reverse Global Warming


A venture-capital company named "Carbon Engineering" funded in part by Bill Gates is on the verge of inventing a carbon-sucking machine to reverse Global Warming. What will happen to Comrade Al Gore's ability to sell those carbon-credits?

Did someone forget to tell these Carbon Engineering inventors that GAIA invented carbon-sucking machines millions of years ago-- They're called "trees" and other forms of green vegetation and ocean-dwelling organisms.
--GAIA Minister Neytiri

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Given that any tree sapling only costs 50¢, and for the cost of one machine, an army of loafers could plant 500,000 trees, wouldn't it be more GREEN™ to just scrap the machine and plant trees?
I'll go back to my beet farm while you answer that question.
BTW, blue is the color of dead people, so why are you blue? Shouldn't you be green?


Jíbaro
Pardon my interloping, Komrade Gaia, but this machine costs at least $250,000.00, and it only compresses CO2, it doesn't produce O2 like plants.Given that any tree sapling only costs 50¢, and for the cost of one machine, an army of loafers could plant 500,000 trees, wouldn't it be more GREEN™ to just scrap the machine and plant trees?
I'll go back to my beet farm while you answer that question.
BTW, blue is the color of dead people, so why are you blue? Shouldn't you be green?
Comrade Jibaro,
Your question makes me fear that you're succumbing to Tea-Party/Right-Wing/Global-Warming-Denier "logic." Are you in need of a Jiffy-Lobo?
Why is my default color blue? Because that's the color James Cameron made me and all othe Na'vis from the gloriously collective, nature-worshiping planet, Pandora. But, fear not, I also have the power to be Green, as I have demonstrated in the past:

--GAIA Minister Neytiri






I'm smelling a Capitalist rat. We need an investigation of her activities.
A year's extra ration of beets and a year's worth of vodka to any comrade who steps forward with evidence.




BTW: Don't believe for a moment that the Earth's already been doing that all on its own for uncounted millenia. We must remember that it is helpless to take care of itself unless the Progressive agenda steps in to help it out.... and that the Goracle is well compensated for his efforts.

" They strain a gnat, and swallow a camel."


During an intensive undercover sting operation— code name "Operation Chakra Release"— on Gorbels Cube, some conclusive, and damning, evidence has been found regarding a tip-off from an anonymous source that Gaia Minister Neytiri has been... MOONLIGHTING!
We have found the CONCLUSIVE evidence that proves the nature of Gaia Minister Neytiri's MOONLIGHTING!
To wit:
Comrades!
This evidence is so damning, I propose a PURGE! YES! A PURGE of GAIA MINISTER NEYTIRI for committing crimes of engaging in narcissistic and prurient capitalist ventures for her own personal fame and fortune!


Even though Comrade Clinton has already destroyed the People's moral fiber, I assume we must still be somewhat cautions about the People's sensitivities with a cause like this.







Corporeal Whinny
This evidence is so damning, I propose a PURGE! YES! A PURGE of GAIA MINISTER NEYTIRI for committing crimes of engaging in narcissistic and prurient capitalist ventures for her own personal fame and fortune!
I AM
PURGE THE WITCH!!




This is very disturbing. I've been working with orphan Children's in the Brazilian jungles. I return and what do I find? Denouncements, massive thought crime and calls for purges. Now this? Neytiri? Neytiriiiiiiiiiiiiii!
This is a bit much for this old socialist to handle (142 next month). What's next? Our beloved MTE is going to challenge the Obama for the Presidency? Go ahead, break an old man's heart.
Just a reminder Comrades, our Progressive ranks are filled with the finest Socialist Womyns in the World:






Yes, yes Frau, by all means, off with her head. To quote Obama himself, "We can't afford to wait, we have a crisis of confidence and we must act now. No time to think about it. Just do it. Right now. If you love me, you'll help me (pull the trigger)."
Leninka, some fellas from the People's Pork Collective reported a missing pig. I told them we haven't seen it (wink).




Laika the Space Dog
Nyet to Netyiri. The cash trail to Solyndra leads right up her tree and we have yet to receive The Party's™ redistribution as mandated and entitled. Down with the scantily clad anti-feminist blue kulak! Purge, baby, purge!What a loyal comrade you are! We should purge




ThePeoplesComrade
Beware Gaia's army.positive energy.jpg
Smart move PeoplesComrade. I see unlike these other two knuckleheads, the wise words of Theo didn't go in one ear and out the other. It is encouraging to see that you now know, trashing a fellow comrades thread is not in good form.


Superkommissar Maksim
ThePeoplesComrade
Beware Gaia's army.The attachment positive energy.jpg is no longer available
Smart move PeoplesComrade. I see unlike these other two knuckleheads, the wise words of Theo didn't go in one ear and out the other. It is encouraging to see that you now know, trashing a fellow comrades thread is not in good form.
Yes comrade Maksim, your previous dissertation on ethics and protocol within a satirical forum has enlightened our collective sensitivity. Please keep monitoring, and if you spot anything fishy, remember AttachWatch.com is only a click away.
I have been thinking we should search The People's archives and eliminate unapproved comments. Then we could send Red Square on an official apology tour. But first we must kill one of every ten forum members to prove our loyalty to Stalinist philosophy.



