Global -- indeed interplanetary -- warming

While scanning the internet for thought criminals, I sometimes come across documents whose conformity to Doctrine is suspect, but whose deviations are rather difficult to classify:

Space aliens likely to avoid Carbon Bigfoot Al Gore

The article is from a particularly cold area of Canada, let me remark.
 

Comrade Adnan Hajj,

Maybe Classification:

Thought Criminals needing re-education? This Editor person and her staff (CFP) should report immediately.

Space Aliens are Capitalists? I am fearing hostile takeover. With the goal of World Wide Socialism so close at hand, we must build fleets of spaceships to repel these invaders.
 

Grigori E.R. not so fast comrade. Perhaps these aliens are not Capitalist pigs perhaps they are potential Accorn voters. Maybe we can get them to vote for the Glorious Messiah, Pelosi, or one of the other dimwits the great and powerful party leaders control.

Just think a month or so ago I was voting many times a day, and was handsomely rewarded with Malt Liquor and Cigarettes. Perhaps this time we could be handing out Malt liquor and Marlboros, for there votes.
 

Comrades,

I understand now that little green men are here to protect out environment from us revolting--ah, wait, that's a goal; allow me to rephrase--us disgusting greedy selfish beings. Fiction is truly less strange than the truth revealed in Mars Attacks! (trailer) However, given that Slim Whitman's crooning of "Indian Love Call" causes little green Martian men's heads to explode, despite their announcement of having come to Earth in peace, shall he be denounced as--to the best of my knowledge--the first Interplanetary Party Enemy? All data suggests he's still Keeps on Croonin' in the Free World a living victim of the Bushitler regime and probably easy to nab, not to mention he's elderly and probably can't run very fast.

Mr. Whitman's head-exploding ethnocentric reactionary song follows:

 

I think this issue needs to be re-opened and explored thoroughly:

"By Judi McLeod

Monday, March 5, 2007

Some UFO advocates are more than a little steamed that Canada Free Press doesn't buy into Paul Hellyer's notion that our governments are holding out on us with a store of secret alien technologies obtained in alleged UFO crashes that could be put to good use in stemming global warming.

Surely the stinky socks little green men were looking for at Al Bundy's place would be just as likely to stem global warming.

"I would like to see what (alien) technology there might be that could eliminate the burning of fossil fuels within a generation...that could be a way to save our planet," Hellyer, a former Canadian defense minister told the Ottawa Citizen.

Alien spacecrafts would have traveled vast distances to reach Earth, and so must be equipped with advanced propulsion systems or used exceptional fuels, according to Hellyer."

Comrades,
This smells to high Heaven of a Bush/Cheney conspiracy to withhold Gaea saving alien technology from the Progressive World of Next Tuesday. I know this to be true Comrades. After the just, righteous and glorious changeover of the Government in '08, we, the Party Elite made a bee-line for Area 51. It was empty Comrades! EMPTY!
 

Canadian Free Press? I thought they solved that problem years ago.

(darski, explain this please)
 

Comrade Grigori E.R.,

What you have written is Party Truth, comrade, but there is one disingenuous point that some less proletarian members might have missed: There was much Party Truth in that Emptiness, just as there is in the Universal Emptiness of Comrade Obama's Suit.
 

Comrade Tovarich,

<There was much Party Truth in that Emptiness, just as there is in the Universal Emptiness of Comrade Obama's Suit.>

If this isn't haiku I don't know what is. (which is quite possible)
 

Truth In Emptiness? The light of brilliance shines within you Comrade Tovarich. One day, after the Progressive World of Next Tuesday begins, there will be a monument, twice as high as the Washington monument and carved in it's polished granite surface will be those simple, yet profound words.

I wrote something similar a few years back:"I have seen the Dancing Light that emanates from within the Shadows".

Indeed, Comrade Pamalinsky, you have been witness to the magical miracle of the People's Cube. We are not ahead of the curve, we are the curve. We are the essence of Intellect in the Intelligentsia. We are the one's the world has yearned for.................Cue "Indian Love Call".

We come in peace.............................
 

Comrade Grigori,

I must warn you that awarding individuals compliments does seem rather reactionary, for each individual's effort is born of the collective. With supreme confidence I aver all eyes look forward to such an inspiring monument!

"We are the curve" stirs my bowels with pride. The curve is not unlike the intergalactic sign of the donut. Perhaps a Party section can accept "Indian Love Call" as its song: cross-cultural, powerful, and materialist in a dialectical manner.