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Hey people... I'm just trying to get ahead of the headline story by a few days.

If Obama loses this election, you know as well as I do that the Democrats will
( as likely as not ) insist on having a second national election because of bad weather.

That George Bush, still up to his old pranks...

Dateline Washington, DC - October 31, 2012 -

We have just confirmed that a gigantic condom spread over much of the eastern seaboard by Planned Parenthood chapters from Maine to North Carolina in an effort led by none other than Ms Sandra Fluke ruptured on Monday night and allowed much of New Jersey and parts of New York to be inundated under several feet of water.

"If the government had paid for this giant condom like we asked," stated Ms Fluke this evening, "We could have saved New Jersey. But no - the Rethugglikkkans had to have their way with the east coast, forcing us to buy the condom with private funds. And the result is devastating - New Jersey is a total disaster, just like the lives of so many college students forced to pay for their own contraceptives."

As a result, the presidential election will be postponed indefinitely, until at least 2020, so that eastern seaboard areas can dry out from the unprecedented deluge.

Comrade T,

Do you really believe Bush is responsible for Hurricane Sandy and its path ?

Let's see if the science supports your viewpoint ......

George W. Bush lives in Texas, which is one of the most southerly states.

Satellite photos show that this storm grew to hurricane status at about the same lines of latitude as Texas.

Coincidence? I think not !

Tovarichi.... the facts of the matter tell us within The Party that you are correct .*

* For your insightful observation, the Cube commissar has chosen to reward you with an entire heel of bread , which you will find in your November rations.

Never fear, comrades! The Party has a plan.

Sandy is a Marx-send.

Our internal and external polling indicate that Romney is about to win fair and square. The hurricane will allow us to muddy the waters and go for a kill. And if that fails, we blame our loss on Sandy.

Our speechwriters are readying the templates for the Party Propaganda Parrots™, outlining the pattern of calling Romney "the Hurricane President" or "President Sandy," implying that since his win was a weather-induced fluke (no pun intended), he has NO MANDATE.

That will give a license to the People's senators and congresspersons to obstruct any Republican policy, allowing the rest of the unwashed masses to malign, insult, sabotage, and ridicule conservatism on a scale unseen even in the Bush years.

Oliver Stone would do well to dust off his old cliches and film a historical political drama called "Hurricane," in which he will "document" for posterity how an empty suit whom nobody voted for, became a US president after a polling place in a crucial battleground state was flooded die to the lack of government investment in infrastructure projects.

Comrade Square, there is no end to the number of recounts that will have to be done if this Romney >spit< "wins" the election. Each of the eastern seaboard states will require at least three (3) separate recounts, plus we can demand entire re-votes for several of the coastal states.

Red Square said,

Oliver Stone would do well to dust off his old cliches and film a historical political drama called "Hurricane," in which he will "document" for posterity how an empty suit whom nobody voted for, became a US president

Comrade Square, I am concerned for the sake of the Children™ , Why Oliver Stone? Is Michael Moore on another assignment? Is he not well?

I would gladly donate half of the heel of bread that Krasnodar has promised next month (sometime after Next Tuesday, I presume...) as my patriotic duty™ and fair share™ to maintain the girth health of Comrade Moore and his documentary skills.

Comrades,

I have compiled my list of excuses that we'll scream at the top of our lungs if Romney wins steals the election.

1. Hurricane Sandy suppressed voters (specifically minority and women voters)
2. The voting machines were rigged
3. Voter ID laws
4. Racism