Read all about it, Comrades!

General Motors Corp. is teaming with Segway Inc., maker of the upright, self-balancing scooters, to build a new type of two-wheeled vehicle designed to move easily through congested urban streets. The machine, which GM says it aims to develop by 2012, would run on batteries and use wireless technology to avoid traffic backups and navigate cities.

Soon the streets will be filled with nothing but these, which has technology that will allow the Party to monitor where everyone drives at all times. This same technology will steer the car, making it easy to engineer an "accident" if we want to covertly dispose of a Thought Criminal for some reason.

Here's a picture of that wonderful vehicle:



I really wish I were making this up, but I'm not. This is 100% real, even that picture.

It won't be worth a dang until 007 uses it to nab Spector.

GM is betting PUMA's more car-like traits -- an enclosed compartment and top speed of 35 miles per hour -- will lead to better results. GM didn't say how much the machines would cost, but research chief Larry Burns said owners would spend one-third to one-fourth of the cost of a traditional vehicle.

This is truly an idea whose time has come. This is the smartest vehicle GM could invest their workers' time on - it will become an instant hit with the People because of its extremely high usefulness. True, the Party^tm will have to massively subsidize it to make it successful as the new Subsidized Transportation Unit - People's Independence Device (S.T.U.P.I.D.), but the One will certainly see its value in putting people back to work and provide a multibillion-dollar "stimulus" for its development.

{off}

A 2009 Chevy Malibu costs about $22K, so the S.T.U.P.I.D. is going to cost somewhere between $5500 and $7500 (I'd bet closer to $10K) to travel 35 miles between charges at maybe 25 mph. A prole won't be able to afford it and the party elite won't want it, seeing how they can only use it on nice days - executives and the cuhlchoored class prefer not to get their hair mussed from wind, rain, snow... and no air conditioning or heater. Soccer moms aren't going to be hauling the team around, let alone bringing stuff home from the food pantry.

One good thing, you'll only need two concrete blocks to "display" it in your front yard instead of four.

The People's Cube has covered this issue in one of its very first stories:

The Lumpenwagon: People's Housing and Locomotion Unit

When I saw that picture... all I could think of was "Motorized Lemmings".

Whether GM or Government Motors builds anything or not it doesn't bode well for $70/Hr UAW workers.
They should form their own shovel brigade and build ox yokes.

I see it has built in air conditioning. Will work well for hot humid 95 degree summer days. And, when it rains, the water coming in on the side will be most refreshing. Perfect for making sure my coif stays put, as I travel, too. Smaller really is better.

The true potential of the vehicle is in the aftermarket items. Flame decals will make the vehicle look like its actually moving. For the really insecure, blue highlights will make it look like its blue-shifting due to traveling close to the speed of light. Sound effect boxes will emit the sound of the soon to be extinct V8 engine. An IV drip of testosterone will be available to replace the manhood the vehicle destroys.

Oh, and each unit comes standard with an "Obama '08" bumper sticker just to remind you of what you asked for. They just hand you the sticker; the thing has no bumper.

Will need holder for shovels. And a place to plug it in at my hovel. And a place to recharge it at work site.

This means electricity for all! OR DOES IT?

I see a people's version of this for those of us who are merely equal ... with pedals. Or maybe just one wheel...


Still, this would be huge improvement over what we're using now.<br>

I hopey I can get my hands on one so I can mount my snowplow on it. Looks like a good n tough work vehicle to me..

or better yet

I would love to see the Dan Ryan Expressway filled with these things so I could mount them on my snowplow....

Comrade Joe wrote:Read all about it, Comrades!

General Motors Corp. is teaming with Segway Inc., maker of the upright, self-balancing scooters, to build a new type of two-wheeled vehicle designed to move easily through congested urban streets. The machine, which GM says it aims to develop by 2012, would run on batteries and use wireless technology to avoid traffic backups and navigate cities.

Soon the streets will be filled with nothing but these, which has technology that will allow the Party to monitor where everyone drives at all times. This same technology will steer the car, making it easy to engineer an "accident" if we want to covertly dispose of a Thought Criminal for some reason.

Here's a picture of that wonderful vehicle:


I really wish I were making this up, but I'm not. This is 100% real, even that picture.

Here is the new Ted Kennedy Model ... likely to be powered by Scotch Ethanol
<br>http://telegram.com/article/20090401/NE ... source=rss

<img width="550" src="https://i307.photobucket.com/albums/nn3 ... /bilde.jpg">

Comrade Joe wrote:Read all about it, Comrades!
General Motors Corp. is teaming with Segway Inc., maker of the upright, self-balancing scooters, to build a new type of two-wheeled vehicle designed to move easily through congested urban streets. The machine, which GM says it aims to develop by 2012, would run on batteries and use wireless technology to avoid traffic backups and navigate cities.

I remember before the original Segway came out about 10 or so years ago, the buzz was that it was going to "revolutionize" urban transportation (or some cow-poo like that.) If there was a revolution, I must've blinked and missed it.

A brand new one retails for 5 grand plus at Amazon. The first thing that would come to my mind if I saw someone riding one is "here is an idiot with 5 G's to waste on a yuppie toy." I would think that would mark the rider as a prime target for an enterprising thief. But, there are no such people in urban areas so no need to worry, eh?

And now GM is going to develop this sit-down version... I'm so glad the Feds invested so many billion$ to keep them afloat. It will be worth the money to have GM survive so they can mass produce hyper-expensive motorized wheelchairs. Who says central planning doesn't work?

Now I know where I've seen this contraption before! They built the prototype 30 years ago:

[TABLE][TR][TD][TABLE][TR][TD]<br>[/TD][/TR][/TABLE][/TD][/TR][/TABLE]

For 30 years, this kid-powered ride-on has been a staple in homes. Kids love being behind the wheel while adults love the durability. Now Cozy Coupe® is better than ever!

New redesigns feature a friendly face on the front and a removable floor. Take the floor out allows kids to use foot-to-floor power. When the floor is in, little ones' feet are protected while an adult can use the cut-in handle in back to push the car. High seat back allows for improved comfort for kids and there are cup holders in the back for an over the road refreshment break. Moving, clicking ignition switch and open-and-close gas cap provide interactive fun. Front wheels turn 360 degrees and driver's side door features optional inside lock.

• New features include removable floor and handle on back for parent-controlled push rides.
  
• Designed with a high seat back and cup holders in the rear.
  
• Includes an ignition switch and an open-and-close gas cap.
  
• Cozy rolls on rugged, durable tires.
  
• Front wheels spin 360 degrees.

Except for the gas cap and smiley face on the front grill, not much difference.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote: Except for the gas cap and smiley face on the front grill, not much difference.

It also has an automated steering system that drives you and uses data input from digital sources to pick the best route to your destination. Of course, this allows the Party to know exactly where you are and where you are going at all times. Also, we can arrange a little "accident" should we want to dispose of a Thought Criminal covertly for some reason.

All I know is when Government Motors mandates these to the People, I'm going to take mine and go around town saying, "hooray! I'm the more equal of everyone else, who is equal to me too!"
(off)
All I know is when Government Motors mandates these to the People, I'm going to find the deepest cliff in a 100 mile radius, drive my car (not this piece of crap) there, and drop this PUMA into it. I may even think of setting it on fire if I have the means too.

<img width="600" src="https://www.strangepolitics.com/images/ ... 149418.jpg">

Red Square wrote:

Holy crap...i can't stop laughing at that picture...too funny.


I think using electricity is not sustainable. They should run on hugs.

Why do we even need batteries, which can be harmful to the environment?

Comrade Red Square,

Teleprompter instead of a rear-view mirror- GENIUS!

Red Square wrote:

Hahaha. . . the PUSS-E-mobile, what's its top speed, better yet, what are its "advantages" over the vehicles of the enemy?

The GM Puss-E, The first ever two wheeled contraceptive.

(Oh crap. I thought I was original. Once again the PCube is the source of all things)

Nav dons full body condom for protection against deserved castigation.

My mode of transportation -- only my litter is solid gold and carried by a team of five-year-olds ( I have acrophobia). It builds character for them, comrades. It builds character. They'll learn more carrying me around than they will in public education -- or at least that is what we tell their parents when we inform them their kid has been selected to haul my bloated ass around Neiman Marcus.

If only we could somehow...make the factory the governments national property....
Hmmmm......
Nationalization fixes everything comrades.

Not only that, our glorious premier could make these wonderful new people's cars TAX-POWERED!!!

All we have to do is reach the people's hand into the fat pockets of the taxpayer plutocrat dogs!

BRILLIANT!!!

On a related note, please excuse my disjointed thought processes. My state mandated labotomy does not allow me to dwell for an extended period of time on any one thought.....

Where's my shovel?
WHERE'S MY SHOVEL?!?

I'll learn more carrying me around than they will in public education.


pret auto

Lenin 'n' Things wrote:

Red Square wrote:

Holy crap...i can't stop laughing at that picture...too funny.


I think using electricity is not sustainable. They should run on hugs.

I hear talk in the beet and cabbage shops that they are to be powered by Unicorn Farts.........

When is my Dear Leader approved Voltswagon arriving?

Prole's-mobile...

Hey, that reminds me of a joke...

I hear Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Clinton have become best buddies. They have so much in common, they both like cigars and Hummers.

Oh wait, got another...

Q: What's Monica Lewinsky's nickname?

A: Humidor

Whoopie, you idiot! A Humidor is one of them little Spanish fellers in tight pants waving a cape at a bull.

Comrades,

The remote control of "vehicles" is great. When the enemy of the revolution is accidently killed,
it can be blamed on a "computer glitch", "software bug" , "system overload" or some other non specific factor.
This will give the state a "00" rating [authorized to kill per Ian Fleming]