Great News! Obama INCREASES Chocolate Rations!

All reliable news outlets are today reporting numerous pieces of excellent economic news: unemployment is DOWN dramatically, the economy is ROARING back and President Obama has once again INCREASED the weekly chocolate ration!

Hateful racists are spreading the rumor that unemployment now is higher than five years ago when the country was hopelessly unchanged. This is obviously a lie as you will see from the following graph:



Glorious! The unemployment rate is lower today than in 2005! Do NOT RELY ON YOUR MEMORY OF EVENTS! YOUR MEMORY IS FAULTY! ONLY THE PEOPLE'S MEDIA CAN PROVIDE THE TRUE, OBJECTIVE RECORD OF PAST EVENTS!

People's journalists are celebrating the day's magnificent events by enjoying some fine chocolate, thanks to President Obama increasing the weekly ration to 25 grams from 20. This is an ALL TIME HIGH for the chocolate ration! Do not listen to anyone who claims they remember a time when chocolate was not rationed.

Thanks to President Obama for solving all our Bush-caused problems and making our lives worth living.
 

Comrade Opiate, Comrade Prof. Derrick Bell has asked me to make sure that the increase in ration is not in "white" chocolate. We don't want a bunch of Space Traders running lose and peddling white chocolate dominance.

I live to harass white chocolate (even in death), was what he told me.
 

I was fascinated to read about our comrade, Derrick Bell and his gifted insights !

( And to think that since the seventies, I was under the impression that he was a driver for Gulf/ Porsche's 917 at Le Mans ........ )




 

Comrades,
This 'chocolate' you speak of DOES NOT EXIST! It is just a capitalist ploy to try to bring down the State. The people will see through this and with the help of "Dearest and most Benevolent Leader" we shall prevail in ending this charade.
This so called 'chocolate' of which you speak is only a wax based mind control drug delivery system designed to destroy the State.
Please to turn in your ration at any State approved disposal site.
 

Comrade yuri trotynov, that is an eminently equal avatar you have. It seems you are new to the cube (or have been forced to adopt a covert identity after having toyed with independent thought) so I wish to extend a collectivist welcome.
 

Comrade Comrade,
Da, I am new to the Cube. It warms my heart that a fellow party member should extend a work worn hand in greetings. Independent thought never-wait,what was that? I thought I heard something. Anyway, independent thought never entered my mind. Thanx again Comrade! Yuri
 

We have always been at war with White Chocolate.
 

At which work camp do they provide this "chocolate"? Is it near Texazistan? I can be on a train by morning, no doubt...
 

Comrades, chocolate is rationed which means there are limits on how much you can obtain but does NOT mean you can actually obtain any. This distinction is a key concept in socialist economics by which we decide on a fair, socially-just and politically popular price for goods and services even though said prices will be set artificially low and thus prevent any goods or services from being produced. It's all about fairness. Unlike evil, unfair capitalist systems, we ensure all citizens have the same amount (zero) and pay the same price for it. Glorious!

As always, if you seem to recall you haven't had any chocolate this week, your memory is faulty and should not be relied upon. We have all had our weekly chocolate ration for this week and it was delicious, and we are all looking forward to next week's ration. Carry on.
 

yuri trotynov

This so called 'chocolate' of which you speak is only a wax based mind control drug delivery system designed to destroy the State.
Please to turn in your ration at any State approved disposal site.

The First Lady wishes to remind all Party members that her oral cavity is a state-approved disposal site for all such products.
 

Opiate of the People

The First Lady wishes to remind all Party members that her oral cavity is a state-approved disposal site for all such products.



A minor correction, if I may:



The First Lady wishes to remind all Party members that her oral cavity is a state-approved disposal site for all such products.

A Public Service Announcement on behalf of the People's Cube.


You're welcome.
 

The MINISTRY OF PLENTY takes care of us once again!





20 GRAMS!

OBAMA MAKES ALL THINGS POSSIBLE.



 

MINISTRY OF PLENTY, the old ministries are the best ministries. Let us celebrate with an extra Two Minute Hate today.