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He grabbed my genitals and wouldn't let go!

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A Craptek Real News Special:
Peek into our Brave New World

Boston, MA; Boston Globe, 11/30/2017 - Four men allege sexual misconduct by Senate president's husband.


The Players:

Stanley Rosenberg - MA Senate President
Bryon Hefner - Senate President's wife

“Hefner, 30, and Rosenberg, 68, met when Hefner had a summer job in Rosenberg's office. They bonded over the fact that each had had a difficult childhood spent in foster care, and they have been a couple since 2008. They were married in September 2016. In a 2014 interview with the Globe, as he was ascending to his current position, Rosenberg called their relationship “deeply committed” and credited Hefner with his own decision to live as an openly gay man."

The Charges:

He grabbed my genitals and wouldn't let go!
He kissed me against my will

“They spoke to the Globe only reluctantly, worried about damaging their work in politics and their reputations. A couple of them also worried about hurting Rosenberg, whose progressive priorities they admire. The Globe granted anonymity to the victims because they must still work with Rosenberg, and interact with Hefner. Each of their stories was confirmed by people who witnessed or talked to the victims shortly after the incidents they described, and, in one case, by e-mails describing the alleged assaults soon after they occurred.”

Prepare: PANEM ET CIRCENSES

Enjoy the games: CORVUS OCULUM CORVI NON ERUIT

CC (spreader of misery)

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And there I was, thinking that when all men become gay and all women become lesbians, this predatory sexual behavior and power manipulations would finally stop. Not so fast.

The only solution to make us all safe from assaults and allegations:

Sex robots

I predict it will be a must-have for any politician - it can be always provided as proof that his/her/its sexual impulses are fully met and any allegations of human-on-human sex are a ridiculous lie.

Sex_Robot.jpg

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oh c'mon, Craptek, don't get explosive...

Did wifey (try to) kiss the genitals? No.
Did wifey teabag senatorial kollektive's teacups? No.
Did wifey poke his forefinger, indeed: any finger, in ahem ahem? No.
Did wifey make any gentleman within an action radius of ten feet afraid to bend over? No.

But - where you are right, you are right:

Anticipation: STOCKINGUM UPONUM POPCORNUM.


(BTW, any insights on wifey's attitude towards, you know, nuts?)
(can't wait for Komradette Putout's output re that, um, area - STOCKINGUM SQUARUM!)

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Genosse Dummkopf wrote:oh c'mon, Craptek, don't get explosive...

Did wifey (try to) kiss the genitals? No.
Did wifey teabag senatorial kollektive's teacups? No.
Did wifey poke his forefinger, indeed: any finger, in ahem ahem? No.
Did wifey make any gentleman within an action radius of ten feet afraid to bend over? No.

But - where you are right, you are right:

Anticipation: STOCKINGUM UPONUM POPCORNUM.


([highlight=#ffff00]BTW, any insights on wifey's attitude towards, you know, nuts?[/highlight])
(can't wait for Komradette Putout's output re that, um, area - STOCKINGUM SQUARUM!)

Point well taken; (korrektion below)

Rodent (squirrel) version - He grabbed my genitals nuts and wouldn't let go!

Yours humbly,
CC

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Red Square wrote:The only solution to make us all safe from assaults and allegations:

Sex robots

I predict it will be a must-have for any politician - it can be always provided as proof that his/her/its sexual impulses are fully met and any allegations of human-on-human sex are a ridiculous lie.
Actually, sex robots is not the only solution. An even better solution is...

Robot politicians.

I stand corrected.

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Comrade Red Square:

I hereby humbly (OK, not so humbly, because as you know, I am the planet's premier Global Warming Scientist and therefore am always right) endorse your first proposal over the second.

Because sex robots can be reprogrammed by hackers to kill the ones they are "comforting:"

Sex Robots Could Kill You If They Are Hacked

Politicians who know that they are disposable will be more useful in the Glorious World of Next Tuesday, than robots that are too expensive to be disposable.

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Red Square wrote:... Actually, sex robots is not the only solution. An even better solution is... Robot politicians.
That, indeed, is revolutionary (assuming AI-guys give their best, of course).

See example, Komrades. Let's take Slick Robo-Willie (most equal programming assumed!). Befogged gaze in bleary eyes, strays all day long in the corridors of White House, on the prowl for anything that bends over, or indeed anything that signals an ability of contractive movements.

So, soon any human personnel flees and is replaced by robo-sex figures of any genders (and most equal programming assumed, again!). Next you see, is White House gone Sodom & Gomorrah, 24/7/365. Now extend this to Congress, then to Deep State agencies. Before long, any exec orders, legislating, regulation etc. stops. It's just fornicate, fornicate, fornicate. Nonstop rattling of metal sheets plus electro-groans...


Hooray! MAGA! The People are back to their - singularly humane - rule of The People, by The People, for The People!

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To all comrades dreaming of designing useful sex robots;

Kate Devlin, senior lecturer in the department of computing at Goldsmiths, (University of London) is spreading progressive intelligence (PI) about a lack of critical diversity in modern culture. Devlin, an amateur psychotherapist and full time societal meddler in her spare time, offered our Craptek News reporter her "critical thinking" in a recent interview:

“There's something so intrinsically human about sex, and it's something that maps quite nicely onto AI,” Devlin told me in a recent Skype conversation from her London office. “In artificial intelligence, there's this drive toward some kind of goal or behavior. That's sort of like humans with their biological need to reproduce and spread our DNA.”
Mz Devlin stroked her well trimmed beard thoughtfully, then continued:

“We've gotten to the stage now in AI, where we can do machine learning, deep learning, and things like that,” Devlin said. [highlight=#ffff00]“There are flaws in that, and the flaws include things like biased data sets that are very much geared toward a white male culture. We lack diversity, we lack a critical exploration of that.”[/highlight]
Conclusion: As of Next Tuesday™ even sex robots will be in need of State approved korrekt progressive education. The teacher's union approves and calls it "Job Security" in the age of robotics.

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Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
Red Square wrote:... Actually, sex robots is not the only solution. An even better solution is... Robot politicians.
That, indeed, is revolutionary (assuming AI-guys give their best, of course).

See example, Komrades. Let's take Slick Robo-Willie (most equal programming assumed!)....

Meet Slick Robo-Willie - the world's first all-in-one Sex-Robot-Politician.

Bill_Clinton_Screw.jpg

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Red Square wrote:
Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
Red Square wrote:... Actually, sex robots is not the only solution. An even better solution is... Robot politicians.
That, indeed, is revolutionary (assuming AI-guys give their best, of course).

See example, Komrades. Let's take Slick Robo-Willie (most equal programming assumed!)....

Meet Slick Robo-Willie - the world's first all-in-one Sex-Robot-Politician.

Bill_Clinton_Screw.jpg

Is this what prompted the "Put a cork in on it" cliche?

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Zoikes! This is real! Man, it is getting harder and harder to discern between reality and satire...

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Panem Et Circenses wrote:Zoikes! This is real! Man, it is [highlight=#FFFF00]getting harder and harder to discern between reality and satire[/highlight]...

Comrade,

Tis so true. And when reality and satire blend {starting Next Tuesday™} it will be a thought-crime to draw the distinction!


Captain Craptek

(Korrekt Thought Instructor)

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Prog Off:

Aren't Democrats naturally accepting of irresponsibility? Weren't Roy Moore and Donald Trump accepted as/by Democrats when they were at their worst? Wasn't there a "waiting period" before Republicans accepted the now mature Donald?

There is judgement that should be applied. I recommend that before getting lost in the weeds of the "who touched whom" circus, we remember this fine take on party values:

Sam Donaldson: "Mr. President, in talking about the continuing recession tonight, you have blamed mistakes in the past. You have blamed the Congress. Does any of the blame belong to you?"
Reagan: "Yes, because for many years I was a Democrat!"


 
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