Has the ObamaCare website been healed? Not really, but help is on the way - and it's you!

Are you are a caring person agonizing over the slow pace of societal progress? Do you stay up at night fearing that ObamaCare may not survive its current predicament? Do you ask yourself, "who will take care of the caretakers?" Do you repeatedly transmit your positive vibes to the White House while wishing you had real superpowers? Now your wishful thinking has been rewarded!

The same team that brought you HealthCare.gov has released a complementary product that enhances your experience of caring about HealthCare.gov - now with visible results.

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Meet Healthcare Tamagotchi - a simple keychain-sized mini-computer helping us to care about those who care about us. All you have to do is set up a HealthCare.gov account and use the device to check in daily to see if more pages are available and if more forms need to be filled out with your personal information and bank account numbers.

It's now up to you to raise our president's fragile idea of government-run healthcare into a fully functioning virtual system. The project goes through several stages of growth, and will develop differently depending on the care you provide, with better care resulting in a virtual government system that is fairer, more efficient, and requires less maintenance.

For this to work, every citizen of the United States must have a Healthcare Tamagotchi, which can be easily accomplished with a presidential executive order making Healthcare Tamagotchi a mandatory requirement.

In the meantime you can help by spreading the word among your friends, families, and co-workers about Healthcare Tamagotchi - a healthcare simulation game for people of all ages, especially those non-progressive adult sociopaths who need to be taught the concept of what it's like to take care about issues.

In development are other Tamagotchi models designed to simulate awareness about issues, advancing social justice, combating Global Warming, and fighting for other progressive causes. Every such activity begins with a visitor from a parallel utopian dimension depositing a seed of a progressive idea, and it's up to the user to nourish it and help it grow by operating the Tamagotchi with a simple set of options: attend activist events and rallies, donate money, write letters to the editor, indoctrinate family members, start a blog, help identify ideological enemies and get them fired from their jobs, etc.

The themes include government-controlled housing, schools, hospitals, media, entertainment, and economy, as well as wage equality, central planning, redistribution of wealth, cultural revolution, abolition of private property, population control... But the first step is always government-provided healthcare.

Such activities will train children and adults to live in compliance with the necessities of the state and the Party, while developing their essential brain areas that are responsible for guilt, entitlement, obedience, fear, and loyalty. And even though no real progress may ever occur in their real lives, a virtual simulation of successful progressive developments alone is enough to maintain healthy amounts of contentment and self-importance, helping them to sleep well at night and wake up every morning with the sense of fulfillment and moral superiority.

The Egghead and I

Red Square wrote:And even though no real progress may ever occur in their real lives, a virtual simulation of successful progressive developments alone is enough to maintain healthy amounts of contentment and self-importance, helping them to sleep well at night and wake up every morning with the sense of fulfillment and moral superiority.

You mean SimCity is going to get ObamaCare before the rest of us? How is that fair?