Hillary Clinton's State Dept notched another point in the "win" column this week with the shocking disclosure that they have managed to get China to agree to the long-term US strategic goal of clean cookstoves.

Experts in the field were amazed at this concession by the Chinese and credited the American rise in prestige, as well as the difficult and firm negotiating by hard-working State Dept employees. The chief negotiator for the deal, Lim P. Wrister, shrugged off congratulations from Western allies with the comment "Don't congratulate me yet. There is so much more to be done before free nations can sleep peacefully in their beds at night. We may have done something to reduce the burning of dung in Chinese kitchens, but what about their heating systems?

No, my friends, there is much work to be done." Lim is known as a very tough and experienced negotiator. During the Bill Clinton administration, he handled all fuel oil shipments to North Korea whereby the US sent fuel, food, and other aid to the volatile nation in exchange for non-binding agreements, often written on paper and signed by both parties.

Coming next week - Hillary Clinton promises to provide Victoria's Secret bras to every Chinese woman, paid for by the United States Federal Government.

These agreements with North Koreans were written on special paper to allow easy concealment from prying eyes.

When the agreements were concluded, dear leader restored the special paper to the every day use.
He put the roll back into a commercial wrapper to store it for future wiping.

I'm having such a feeling of deja vu...haven't the evil capitalists tried to thrust clean and efficient kitchen appliances down the throats of Communists before?