A message of importance from Her Lordship, Speaker Nancy Pelosi:

I am just… I… I can't believe what just happened here. I mean… You people. Yes, you incompetent and foolish little people! You all make me sick right now! SICK! We had this, Comrades. We had this all wrapped up. We had a stunning convention last week and were poised to steal the day!

We had Michelle Obama trying her best, her absolute best, not to look like an angry racist militant in her speech. We had the public duped that the Obamas were small town village proles just like Ma and Pa.

We had the Clintons, in their entire radiating BS, suck up to the Obamas. We had people and victims of every stripe give their testimony to the hard times they are facing.

We had Joe Biden give a lackluster speech. Sure, he is an idiot… but all the same he is our idiot.

And we had the Messiah himself give a fiery sermon from atop his temple. It was magical. So magical that no one can remember one damn word he said.


And now…. THIS:


I'm speechless. I am absolutely speechless. It is your entire fault! You all let this happen because you didn't scream and carry-on for Joe Lieberman, Tom Ridge, and yes, Mitt Romney.

We had sound bites, policy positions, dirt galore – but no, we are stuck with some middle-class mom with five children. We are stuck with a woman people can relate to. Oh, and did I mention she has more experience THAN OUR OWN F***ING CANDIDATE!?

And now I have to worry about the Conservative base showing up at the polls this time around. Now I have to worry about this "New Republican Party" of "Reform" and all of this other crap tearing down my Children's Congress. I have to worry about this woman ressurecting the Reagan Revolution. I have to worry! DO YOU KNOW WHAT WORRYING DOES TO MY SKIN!? I'M GOING TO LOOK LIKE A DECAYED CORPSE, YOU IDIOTS!

Schumer told me this would be a walk in the park. They told me McCain would demoralize everyone. They told me that we have the American people by the balls and that it was smooth sailing from here to election time.

What is that noise!?

Ka-Ching in a previous thread wrote:
I. Am. So. Jazzed!

WHO IS PLAYING THAT MUSIC!? TURN THAT OFF, KA-CHING! HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN IS OUR SONG, DAMMIT! IT IS OUR FREAKING SONG, YOU BASTARD!

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. OK… Meow has a memo out and I am sure everyone – AND I MEAN EVERYONE – will do his/her/its best to TEAR THIS WOMAN DOWN in the next weeks to come.

She must be stopped. The Reagan Revolution must never, ever come back AGAIN! THE SUN MUST SET ON AMERICA FOREVER!

STOP THIS!

STOP THIS!

STOP THIS NOW!

That is all.

Impeach Bu$Hitler and Lord Vader (Cheney) for us, Dear Nancy!! Hold Carl Rove in Contempt of Congress and imprison him for life!! Impose the Fairness Doctrine and silence Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and all the other Neo-Con deceivers!!

We are with you, Nancy, and we will work tirelessly to stop McShame and his KKKonservative running "mate". This abomination must not be allowed to succeed!!

Can we allow this man to be the POTUS and this "woman" to become VP and also be the President of the Senate?? What will Harry Reid do??

Nancy, you know I would disembowel myself with a dull icepick if you asked me to.

These are dark times, in which our only hope is in the sheer power of the collective. They won the day, but remember - in battles between the young, hopeful and righteous vs. the old, corrupt and evil, the smar money is on OC&E every time!

Uh, I guess that means we are the old, corrupt and evil...oh well...
Take a laxative or two and have Lupe massage your toes.

Well Nancy, you can console yourself. My side, the corporatist fascistic imperialists, are up against this jugheadernaut:

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Great Stalin almighty!

If I've lost Stewart, I've lost the country!

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Bill has dispatched himself to Alaska to do whatever he can to hinder Palin. The campaign is desperately booking hunting trips for B_O and gaggles of party "journalists". The congressional cafetria menu is being reevaluated, again. What more can we do?

". . . has more experience THAN OUR OWN F***ING CANDIDATE!?"

This is blasphamy Nancy! Our pick may not have as much experience, but he knows everything, after all, he's the Obamasiah.

One other thing Nancy, I'm being dead serious about this, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but, when does life begin?

Jon Stewart has obviously been blackmailed by the BusHitler/Cheney Crime Family. Are they holding his children for ransom? Perhaps they're threatening to dethrone him, for no good socialist could possibly say what he's said.

Unless that good socialist is a better smart-ass.

Jon Stewart has obviously been blackmailed by the BusHitler/Cheney Crime Family.

Theocritus...yesterday's Pravda. Tsk, tsk.
Let me edit:
Jon Stewart has obviously been blackmailed by the SaraHitler/McKKKain Crime Family.

Dead mooses strewn along the road
the road to imperialism isn't a basketball game
its a shoot up and Pay-and-pay-lin
"I wish the population of the world were one big moose
so I could barbeque it"
will eat us like mooseburgers because shes
just like Mcbush

Impeach! Evict!

Dennis M Mccullough wrote:Dead mooses strewn along the road...

I think those were political rivals.

Dennis, Say hi to the Mime for me. I read some of your comments over at impeachland and must say, you're every bit the almost genius that the Mime is.

I assuming DENNIS M MCCULLOUGH at youtube is you because this vid you posted carries the same weight as your comments.


Your myspace page could use some work. Britney? Really?

Dennis is... THE BIRD LADY?






Feed the birds.

Meow, that video was pulled, no doubt to your wanting it. You really must talk to the Comrades at YouTube. They don't know your magnificence. Or that you would up sleeping with Mao's corpse. That'll do it.

If you don't mind the risk of being confused with Al Gore.

It was the Mary Poppins bird lady song, Theocritus.

Feed the birds, toppins a bag!

: One other thing Nancy, I'm being dead serious about this, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but, when does life begin?

That is easy, komrades. At age 18. When they can vote (the way we trained them to in public skools.)

Tuppence, BTW. Old British coin.

CC

Commissar Maksim wrote:Your myspace page could use some work. Britney? Really?

Dennis is single and has one friend. Anyone surprised?

Mikhail T. Kalashnikov wrote:Dennis is single and has one friend. Anyone surprised?

I think he's kinda cute!

That ain't friggin' Dennis....too literate.

Dennis M Mccullough wrote
Dead mooses strewn along the road...

I think those were political rivals.

Somewhere, just off a road in Wisconsin, Bryan Hathaway has a woody.

Comrade Cher noble wrote:Tuppence, BTW. Old British coin.

How dare you correct me, Comrade Cher noble!

I will spell words however I damn well please! I am the Chairman! I AM THE CHAIRMAN, DAMMIT! I don't have to pay homage to how foreigner's spell their little words or their currency, Comrade! I am not some 19%er in flyover country, or Alaska, for that matter, who must worry about looking good in front of those more sophisticated! They are the ugly Americans, Comrade! They are the ones who have to know that it is spelled 'tuppence' and not TOPPINS! TOPPINS A BAG! OUTRAGE! I AM OFFENDED, COMRADES! I HAVE BEEN SLIGHTED BY THIS... THIS... COMMON PROLE!

I am an ELITE! I AM ALMOST A GENIUS! I went to Hardverd!

BTW: Warm clothes and a shovel, Comrade Cher noble. Platform #6. No one offends me! NO ONE!

I am so glad that I didn't correct the Chairman's spelling. Not that it was in need of correction mind you. (And there are some unenlightened types out there that would stoop to pointing out that it should be "foreigners" rather than "foreigner's." They would be the fools who don't understand that the Chairman is in fact writing of a specific foreigner's spelling of the word.)

PLATFORM #6, BETINOV!!!!! PLATFORM #6!!!!!!

Mikhail T. Kalashnikov wrote:

Commissar Maksim wrote:Your myspace page could use some work. Britney? Really?

Dennis is single and has one friend. Anyone surprised?

No, until I clicked on the link and saw it wasn't a sock.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:No, until I clicked on the link and saw it wasn't a sock.

ROTFLMAO!

: BTW: Warm clothes and a shovel, Comrade Cher noble. Platform #6. No one offends me! NO ONE!

"My friend, there are two kinds of people in the world, Those with guns and those who dig." Actually, I prefer to pay others to dig. For the Common Good, of course.

CC

Commissar Maksim wrote:

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:No, until I clicked on the link and saw it wasn't a sock.

ROTFLMAO!

HA!! HAHA!!

Comrade Chernobyl wrote:: BTW: Warm clothes and a shovel, Comrade Cher noble. Platform #6. No one offends me! NO ONE!

"My friend, there are two kinds of people in the world, Those with guns and those who dig." Actually, I prefer to pay others to dig. For the Common Good, of course.

CC

You forgot the third sub-species....those who dig w/ guns.
NO SHOVEL FOR YOU,comrade! How dare you offend the ChairThingie!

Ivan Betinov wrote:I am so glad that I didn't correct the Chairman's spelling. Not that it was in need of correction mind you. (And there are some unenlightened types out there that would stoop to pointing out that it should be "foreigners" rather than "foreigner's." They would be the fools who don't understand that the Chairman is in fact writing of a specific foreigner's spelling of the word.)

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:PLATFORM #6, BETINOV!!!!! PLATFORM #6!!!!!!

Mousevitch, Luv...

Be fair... ... ... no.... really... be fair...

You must admit your spelling is famously abysmal but it is only because your mind is always so taken up with other, more important things and really, you are a figures man when it comes to it... Don't be unhappy... It is one of your charms... In fact I do not think she would mind me divulging that Chicken Sushi refers to her massage and vacuuming duties for you as her "English as a Third Language" classes - her first language being dolphin, her second English, and her third... well... you really are a figures man and she always returns from your quarters with a healthy glow to her cheeks (when you haven't scared the crap out of her)...

And besides, if it weren't for your abysmal spelling, I would never had managed to get that oh so useful winch by central accounting... and you did get your wenches in the end...

Keep up the good werk!
SMO

Hey Look! Lenin Hussies n' Thingies is back, I thought either you forgot your log-in info again or somehow you were connected with the disappearance of Premier Betty. You have returned just in time, the Party needs all its feminist voices to bring down the Palinazi.

Thank Lenin for the People's Math, which allows me to see the instructions to go to platform six (a bad platform) and immediately go to plaform 14, from which trains depart on the hour for the Big Rock Candy Mountain.

Ivan Betinov wrote:.... go to plaform 14, from which trains depart on the hour for the Big Rock Candy Mountain.

That's one of my favorite songs! My life. Big Rock Candy Mountain (slightly enhanced and warmed for the interweb):

Big Rock Candy Mountain

A few years ago I proposed a interweb talk show with me as Big Rock and my girl friend as Rock Candy but my prospective producers turned out to be working for ClearChannel and had me black-listed. They worked for Bush and Co...

impeach! evict!

Dennis M Mccullough wrote: but my prospective producers turned out to be working for ClearChannel and had me black-listed. They worked for Bush and Co...

Obviously you didn't learn a damn thing from that incident or you wouldn't be posting your impeach nonsense here. For the Mime has already exposed all of us for being on a right wing payroll of some sort. We already know you live in Washington, PA. its just a matter of time before we have your address. You'll never see us coming for we have access to black helicopters.

Commissar Maksim wrote:Hey Look! Lenin Hussies n' Thingies is back, I thought either you forgot your log-in info again or somehow you were connected with the disappearance of Premier Betty. You have returned just in time, the Party needs all its feminist voices to bring down the Palinazi.

Hey Maksim
The Premier is still mia? There needs to be an investigation into the disappearance of Betty!!

Come back,Betty! Come back to the collective. We miss you. We miss your confusion. We miss your easily disgusted sensibilities. Dammit,we just miss you.

Commissar Maksim wrote:

Dennis M Mccullough wrote: but my prospective producers turned out to be working for ClearChannel and had me black-listed. They worked for Bush and Co...

Obviously you didn't learn a damn thing from that incident or you wouldn't be posting your impeach nonsense here. For the Mime has already exposed all of us for being on a right wing payroll of some sort. We already know you live in Washington, PA. its just a matter of time before we have your address. You'll never see us coming for we have access to black helicopters.

Maksim, I have his address on file in the bunker--but in the meantime, you be nice. For Dennis truly has the soul of a poet, and I want to appoint him the Poet Laureate of the People.

I have read his words, and feel as if I've finally found my soul mate. I am in love. Don't you get it, Maksim? No, of course you don't, you dirt-digging brute. You go ahead and laugh and call him a loser and tell me I can do better, but you're wrong, Maksim, wrong! I'll never do better than this! Besides, I just know Dennis is sweet and sensitive, and like, totally understands me!

Where's my diary? Oh yes, right here . . .

Mrs. Pinkie McCullough
Mrs. Pinkie McCullough
Mrs. Pinkie McCullough

Yes, Dennis is the one I want to jump off the ledge with me!

Come, Dennis! Come to the ledge with Pinkie, and let us both jump together! Let us make the leap for peace!

To little frogs two little frogs
leaping from pond to pond making the jump for peace
making the jump off the ledge of despair
the ledge of despair is our last refuge
hold my hand
Mrs. Pinkie McCoullough
and leap for peace
leap!
splat splat
to a better pond.
peace
for we are the trolls we've been waiting for
because Mcbush has drained our swamp
and built a
war machine
where we use to ribbit...

impeach/evict

One of these days the idiot is going to Google himself and....Voilá!

Let's get it right!

impeach/evict

The Mime owes me 3 cents for this post.

Dennis M Mccullough, waxing lyrical, wrote:To little frogs two little frogs
leaping from pond to pond making the jump for peace
making the jump off the ledge of despair
the ledge of despair is our last refuge
hold my hand
Mrs. Pinkie McCoullough
and leap for peace
leap!
splat splat
to a better pond.
peace
for we are the trolls we've been waiting for
because Mcbush has drained our swamp
and built a
war machine
where we use to ribbit...

impeach/evict

Oh, Dennis! Beautiful, sweet, sensitive Dennis! Your ode is so divine, so inspiring, so moving, that tears are streaming down my cheeks and dripping onto my keyboard; and I can barely keep from swooning out of my chair and collapsing to the floor in paroxysms of glorious delight at your magical way with words!

I might kiss you, sweet fellow frog, if only I believed you might turn into the red-hatted prince of my dreams!

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:You go ahead and laugh and call him a loser and tell me I can do better

Ha Ha Ha, Dennis is a loser and Pinkie you can do better.

Since when do you like poetry? I remember my first week here at the Cube I posted a poem for you and all I got was the threat of your shovel up side my head. And I didn't just make-up some poem calling you a toad, Oh No, in the great Party tradition of plagiarism, I copied and pasted a poem by Vladimir Vysotsky.

Does Dennis even have a shovel or a red hat? UNLIKELY!

That being said, I can't wait till you lure him out on the ledge with the promise of a lovers leap for peace, only to push him off with one good whack from your shovel. teehee

Oh, so we're waxing poetic are we?

(Assumes proper declamatory pose, which oddly enough resembles a constipated weight lifter.)

There once was a lady named Pinkie
Who felt that red hats were kinky
But she had no time
For friends of the Mime
For they all proved to be powerful stinky.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:I might kiss you, sweet fellow frog, if only I believed you might turn into the red-hatted prince of my dreams!

Golly! It's about time. Someone that knows how to play here.
This election is going to be a lot of fun and we need all the characters we can get
Nice to have you here, Mrs. Pinkie Mccullough.
I like the sound of that!
because Mcbush tapped my phone
and took my favorite sock away

lonely

I am yours

impeach/evict

Maksim, I remember well the poem you copied and pasted here. I was enchanted, then you up and dumped me like a bushel of old beet stumps. When TankoGrad sought to defend my honor (Betinov, stop coughing), you wanted to arm wrestle him like something out of a bad Sylvester Stallone movie.

Dennis, on the other hand, not only gives me poetry and paeans, but he has yet to run out on me in the dark of night like someone who has to get up early in the morning to work. Someone as sweet and sensitive as Dennis, who truly understands how I feel, doesn't have to resort to something so savage as--ptui--arm wrestling to impress me and win my heart.

I would just as soon watch him wrestle with his sock!

P.S. Betinov: Cute limerick, but you need to do something about your cough. It acts up at the most awkward moments.

Me? Attempting to stifle a snort of laughter by disquising it as a cough? Never! My thoughts are as pure as the driven (over) snow.

But soft! The muse speaks through me again!

(Assuming declamatory pose in 5...4...3...2...1.)

I've heard a disturbing rumor:
Pinkie dislikes my poetic humor
She burst from her hovel
And hit me with her shovel
So hard that I shat out a tumor.

Betinov, I'm laughing so hard I may have just shat out something.

Ah, perhaps the chord I've struck contains a brown note....