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I am out... as a Special Agent in the U.S. Secret Service

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Yes comrades my cover has been compromised and I can no longer 'live a lie.' I am not a beet farmer but a highly trained U.S. Secret Service Special Agent assigned to the Malia Obama detail. The following image will be all over the internet soon so I guess the jig is up.

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Lovely Malia is trying to make 'my face.'

FYI - we apprehended a heavily mustached masher during our visit to Chicago's Lollapalooza Music Festival. He claimed to be one of the Marx brothers - the one with a squirrel in his pants! Pity... we had to beat their asses!

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The same face of a woman assigned to the Joe Biden morning skinny dip detail.... Say, did I just see the words Obama and "jig" in the same discussion? Wow, that racist stuff never applies to federal employees.

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Comrade Putout, wow, I had no idea! So now that you have been outed, are you going to be assigned to other duties, like making sure this never happens again?

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Secret Servicing Comrade X,

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! That's why you're always hanging around with the Obama SS details. OK, then tell me...what does the Obama Fist Bump really mean? It's a signal...right? It signals vendors that Moochelle wants more food, yes? Or,...maybe it's some kinda code to Vladimir...I saw him...never mind. I never saw anything. Anyway, maybe I can be a SS guy too? Ask somebody,...please! Let me know ASAP so I can get ready for a new assignment!

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[color=#C0392B]Captain Craptek[/color] was chittering (yes... chittering!) up the wrong tree when he wrote:Secret Servicing Comrade X,

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! That's why you're always hanging around with the Obama SS details. OK, then tell me...what does the Obama Fist Bump really mean? It's a signal...right? It signals vendors that Moochelle wants more food, yes? Or,...maybe it's some kinda code to Vladimir...I saw him...never mind. I never saw anything. Anyway, maybe I can be a SS guy too? Ask somebody,...please! Let me know ASAP so I can get ready for a new assignment!
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I'm starting to think that Dear Leader™ (PBUH) can take care of himself!
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i-dont-need-no-stinkin-bodyguard.jpg

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Just what is a secretion service, and where can I get one?

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The glandular challenged [color=#C0392B]Tovarichi[/color] wrote:Just what is a secretion service, and where can I get one?
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secretions.jpg

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The way he holds that people-killing, environmentally friendly, non-toxic, Biden-proof child-proof, gluten-free, fairly-advantaged gun with so much executive command sends a thrill up my leg in the most non-sexual, non-homophobic, non-refundable way!

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Comrade Putout wrote:.
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Yes comrades my cover has been compromised and I can no longer 'live a lie.' I am not a beet farmer but a highly trained U.S. Secret Service Special Agent assigned to the Malia Obama detail. The following image will be all over the internet soon so I guess the jig is up
Isn't that Zuck right behind Malia!?

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Dear Leader (PBUH) be shoppin' at the Chicago Gun Sto'
no doubt his firearms are equipped with the latest in sights, and no traceable serial number...
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Comrade Putout wrote:
[color=#C0392B]Captain Craptek[/color] was chittering (yes... chittering!) up the wrong tree when he wrote:Secret Servicing Comrade X,

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! That's why you're always hanging around with the Obama SS details. OK, then tell me...what does the Obama Fist Bump really mean? It's a signal...right? It signals vendors that Moochelle wants more food, yes? Or,...maybe it's some kinda code to Vladimir...I saw him...never mind. I never saw anything. Anyway, maybe I can be a SS guy too? Ask somebody,...please! Let me know ASAP so I can get ready for a new assignment!

I think you should put Comrade Craptek's name in for consideration. The secret service is full of squirrelly agents. (Excepting, of course, yourself.)
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