Commissar Theocritus... I took Bruno to a little socprog rally we were having, I hope you don't mind...

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Nah, I'm still insulted. I'm the straight one, and Theocritus is the gay one. A squirt gun with the trigger so obviously homo erotic as the batman squirt gun is worse than no insult at all.

I'm going to especially enjoy your demise.

Oh, no! Colonel 7.62. Really, I didn't notice that!!!


If you fire, you will ruin one of Comrade Red Square's masterpieces.

Please give me time to find you another gift.

Eh, who said anything about firing squads yet? First Theocritus does the blue dress flogging, followed by impalement. Then I try to beat the Nano Jimmy Carter Rabbits to what is left and can use the firing squad. We like to make sure thought criminals are properly put down.

Comrade Snoogie! What a great idea! We'll present this bribe insult evidence for the Colonel to peruse... here let me get them out from under your crib... uhg... arrrrrghhh...









ahhhh.... just a few more now.... ugh... here we go...






<br>

WHEW!!!!

Thanks for storing those for The Party(TM) Comrade Snoogie Woogums, no Kapitalist Pigs would have ever thought to look under your crib. It's the least I could do getting them out from under the crib after your help with the Yeggs.

I thought this might be something you already had, and it's not very creative, but, well, I hope it trips your trigger.

A Batman squirt gun! Thank you, Leninka. I shall aim it at the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits and I'm sure that they will be terrified of it. After I have squirted them, I'm going to fill it again and squirt Cher, who will, I'm quite sure, melt.

Much better. Now I have one I can keep in the head, next to the carbon monoxide warning sticker. My hand no longer itches.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:A Batman squirt gun! Thank you, Leninka. I shall aim it at the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits and I'm sure that they will be terrified of it. After I have squirted them, I'm going to fill it again and squirt Cher, who will, I'm quite sure, melt.

You're welcome Comrade Theocritus. I like Batman. I have a Batmobile model, too, that I built from a model kit. Maybe you could use it, too, to ride through the brush when you're chasing the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits.

7.62 wrote:'m the straight one, and Theocritus is the gay one. A squirt gun with the trigger so obviously homo erotic as the batman squirt gun is worse than no insult at all.

Is is the trigger or the posture?

And no, RR, I don't mind at all your taking Bruno out for a night on the town. Or a rally. And how thoughtful of you to get a fresh pineapple to cover that spike on his head. I swear, that man sometimes. I had to quit letting him watch WWI movies. Every time he saw one of those spiked German helmets he thought it was <i>his</i> doppelganger.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:

7.62 wrote:'m the straight one, and Theocritus is the gay one. A squirt gun with the trigger so obviously homo erotic as the batman squirt gun is worse than no insult at all.

Is is the trigger or the posture?

And no, RR, I don't mind at all your taking Bruno out for a night on the town. Or a rally. And how thoughtful of you to get a fresh pineapple to cover that spike on his head. I swear, that man sometimes. I had to quit letting him watch WWI movies. Every time he saw one of those spiked German helmets he thought it was <i>his</i> doppelganger.

I neither saw the significance of the trigger or the posture. In fact, I thought the trigger was coming out of a knee, and Batman was in the position of a skier in a downhill competition.

I'm sure that's it. And I'm sure that there's skiing explanation for where the water hole is too, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Commissar Theocritus wrote: And no, RR, I don't mind at all your taking Bruno out for a night on the town. Or a rally. And how thoughtful of you to get a fresh pineapple to cover that spike on his head. I swear, that man sometimes. I had to quit letting him watch WWI movies. Every time he saw one of those spiked German helmets he thought it was <i>his</i> doppelganger.

Excellent Commissar, I may find more adventures that Bruno would enjoy... and you said my favorite word again, doppelganger, how thoughtful of you. Perhaps if Comrade Genosse Pieck made Bruno some Sauerkraut and I got him a German spiked helmet for the the WWI movie night he'd enjoy it!

He definitely enjoyed Leninka's ear rings at the protest, between the yalps of "Down With Christian Sharia" he sucked on them and slobbered to the point I had to wipe he's mouf after every yalp.

Leninka wrote:
If you fire, you will ruin one of Comrade Red Square's masterpieces.

Please give me time to find you another gift.

Defendant Leninka, did you presume to think that you wearing the shirt bearing the slogan that I came up with would some how influence my judgment in some manner? Why, I do not even object to the bribe of the golden eggs being side tracked to the People's Prosecutor Pinkie. as she has done little on this trial to deserve it, which of course makes her more eligible for such.

However, I am impressed by this defense exhibit you passed under the table, though I had hoped the er... documents would be in small denominations. The pressure of judging comrades does not come easy to me you know? But justice must be served.... slowly....

Please bear with me comrades.... these past few days I have been fighting a trojan on my computer and eventually ended up reinstalling everything. Apparently, one of my nanobot Jimmy Carter rabbits either went rogue, or was deliberately sabotaged in order to bring chaos disturbing my Socialist Serenity. An investigation is being conducted.

Red Rooster,

Happy to let the Colonel look over our 'evidence' I had under the crib, and of course there is no hurry for him to return it after he peruses it. He can all the time he wants twenty, thirty years or whatever it takes. No problemo.

There is was unfortunate side effect though for me. Now if I have a little female entertainment in my crib.......Well, Snoogie is just going be shooting blanks now.

Would you care to use the Batman water pistol? I'm just saying...

Red Rooster, I do so appreciate your taking Bruno out on play dates. But I warn you. Do not taking him miniature golfing. Every time he sees a red golf ball he starts sniggering until he's thrown off the course.

And Pupovich, do not ever underestimate the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits. The entire Rancho is covered with nano turds with a mega smell. And the problem is that the nano turd start to swell, and swell, and swell...until they themselves become nano Jimmy Carter rabbits, and the cycle starts all over again.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:

Leninka wrote:
If you fire, you will ruin one of Comrade Red Square's masterpieces.

Please give me time to find you another gift.

Defendant Leninka, did you presume to think that you wearing the shirt bearing the slogan that I came up with would some how influence my judgment in some manner? Why, I do not even object to the bribe of the golden eggs being side tracked to the People's Prosecutor Pinkie. as she has done little on this trial to deserve it, which of course makes her more eligible for such.

However, I am impressed by this defense exhibit you passed under the table, though I had hoped the er... documents would be in small denominations. The pressure of judging comrades does not come easy to me you know? But justice must be served.... slowly....

Dear Marshall Pupovich,

Oh, no, I would never try to sway your judgement like that.

I only it would be a shame to destroy such a beautiful work of art. "We put the "U" in Gulag" however, is a brilliant little phrase.

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Much better. Now I have one I can keep in the head, next to the carbon monoxide warning sticker. My hand no longer itches.

Here comrade Colonel, this might help with that itching too, just keep a little in the head:

Red Rooster wrote:

Commissar Theocritus wrote: And no, RR, I don't mind at all your taking Bruno out for a night on the town. Or a rally. And how thoughtful of you to get a fresh pineapple to cover that spike on his head. I swear, that man sometimes. I had to quit letting him watch WWI movies. Every time he saw one of those spiked German helmets he thought it was <i>his</i> doppelganger.

Excellent Commissar, I may find more adventures that Bruno would enjoy... and you said my favorite word again, doppelganger, how thoughtful of you. Perhaps if Comrade Genosse Pieck made Bruno some Sauerkraut and I got him a German spiked helmet for the the WWI movie night he'd enjoy it!

He definitely enjoyed Leninka's ear rings at the protest, between the yalps of "Down With Christian Sharia" he sucked on them and slobbered to the point I had to wipe he's mouf after every yalp.

Comrades, my apologies for my absence from the show trial. I was helping Stasi plant e-coli at Taco Bell. Wait, that wasn't us... it's been there all along!

Doppelganger, doppelganger. Argh! You anglophones are always missing the Umlauts!!! Also, all nouns are kapitalized!!! I denounce you! It is "Doppelgänger", you uncultured swine! You need some serious sensitivity training!!! I have some open spots in the former theme parks of Buchenwald and Dachau.

Anyway, to please Bruno, of course he can have a Pickelhaube and a jar of Sauerkraut. I had this American Pickelhaube made especially for him. The jar of Sauerkraut is from the Sovkhoz Spreewald, who are well known for their pickles. Unfortunately, after the War of Western Agression in 1989/90 the brave comrades of the sovchoz were replaced by kapitalist pigs from the Kuehne AG.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote: Let's see if any of you can wade through this without (a) rolling your eyes; (b) yelling, "Oh, puh-leeze!" or (c) puking.

I'm telling you, not a man who ever walked this planet was any kind of excuse for a father before Obama came along to show everyone how it's done. All that's missing is the cardigan and pipe.

Comrade Leninka, Comrade Sauerkraut... (cultural sensitivity *spit*, I cannot spell Genoisinseee Peick with my prog brain) let us not forget the Peoples Prosecutors queries.

Genosse Pieck wrote:...please Bruno, of course he can have a Pickelhaube and a jar of Sauerkraut. I had this American Pickelhaube made especially for him. The jar of Sauerkraut is from the Sovkhoz Spreewald, who are well known for their pickles. Unfortunately, after the War of Western Agression in 1989/90 the brave comrades of the sovchoz were replaced by kapitalist pigs from the Kuehne AG.

Thank you Comrade Pieck, now Bruno can enjoy WW1 movie night...

Some evidence from the infamous Gang of Four for the Marshal his Judgeship to.... erhrrrrmmmmm.... look over....




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Red Rooster wrote:

Commissarka Pinkie wrote: Let's see if any of you can wade through this without (a) rolling your eyes; (b) yelling, "Oh, puh-leeze!" or (c) puking.

I'm telling you, not a man who ever walked this planet was any kind of excuse for a father before Obama came along to show everyone how it's done. All that's missing is the cardigan and pipe.

Comrade Leninka, Comrade Sauerkraut... (cultural sensitivity *spit*, I cannot spell Genoisinseee Peick with my prog brain) let us not forget the Peoples Prosecutors queries.

Prosecutor's queries? Ah, off course! May I present to 7.62 THIS Pickelhaube as a gift. I removed it from Kaiser Wilhelm II's imperialist head after the 1918 revolooshun. Be careful though, as the eagle on this Über-Haube is made of soap. I will include the mustache for his omnipotent excellency, Judge Marshal Pupovich. The medals and ribbons will of course be restributed among the prosecution.

Ooh! I love the helmet. I thought that it couldn't get better than doing "Tico Tico" as Carmen Miranda but here with the pointy helmet I can do "Deutschland Deutschland!" And Pieck, Theocritus told me to ask you WTF (that's not what he says but I'm too much of a lady to say what he says) with all this capitalization. Something about the last person speaking English to capitalize all nouns was Ben Franklin.

And those, what, umlauts?

Oh. I get it. Balls! Oh, that's funny. That's really funny. Don't make me laugh, I can't stand it. Oh. Balls. That's funny.

Ooops. I wet 'em.

Jeez. What in the fuck are you people doing exciting Bruno that way? I commend Red Rooster for his kind disguising of Bruno's pinhead. There's a reason for the fruit, on the fruit. And the helmet. On the fruit.

But please, folks, don't exercise him. Really don't exercise him. It's more than this old prog can take when he spends all night in a fetal position keening to himself. He got so upset with the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits that he nearly didn't pass the Texas bar.

If any of you made progs want a defense counsel when your show trial comes up, and I assure you it will, then don't upset F. Lee Bruno.

If the pinhead is upset, heads will roll.

Comrade Commissar, after a few rounds of goosestepping with his Pickelhaube around Red Square or the Reichstag, I'm certain F. Lee Bruno will be just fine.

Pieck, let's think on this for a second. F. Lee Bruno <i>goose-stepping</i>? First of all, his little black dress--size 24--may have a split skirt but goose-stepping? I think not. And I recognize that even an entire wardrobe of Pickelhauben is not guaranteed to find one that fits nicely on his head instead of riding it like a quoit.

I have lived with F. Lee Bruno for some while. Recall that I have tried over and over to give him to more deserving comrades than I. I even, and I blush to admit this, imported the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits to impel F. Lee Bruno to move onto greener, or gayer, pastures. Pastures far away from me. But he homes. He's a homing queen.

I have offered him to Meow with the enticement of the rest of Meow's Hummels. No taker. I have offered him to Pupovich with the promise of five show trials based on denunciations of Pupovich's choice. He's death on show trials, that Pupovich. No takers.

I have even tried to exorcise F. Lee Bruno by reciting the multiplication tables to him, but such is the bozon field that instead of coming up with 4x4=16 instead I get the Stimulus Bill.

I'm afraid that F. Lee Bruno is the 800 pound idiot in the room and there's nothing to be done about it.

And Nansky is very jealous that someone is hogging her limelight.

Pieck, Pinkie will have your goosestepping balls now. SHE is the People's Prosecutor. I was just the person making accusations and providing testimony. Kiss HER arse, Pupovich's, Theocritus, and then mine in that order, but be sure to kiss them all.

Pieck, I have been in consultation with Pupovich and Pinkie, who have told me to tell you that they have decided to give Star Chamber experience to F. Lee Bruno.

We are all waiting to be gravely insulted.

Well, it's about damned time, Comrade Theocritus. A girl needs a good foundation, and part of a good foundation are the stockings. Too think how Bruno has suffered all these years. It's, it's criminal! The panties are nice, too. Enough coverage, but delightfully sexy.

Oh, comrades. I am sorry to disappoint you, but if you want grave insults, you need to ask a Frenchman. Germans are happy to kiss a$$ any day.

Is Comrade Prosecutor Pinkie's a$$ hairy like good European woman's a$$? I do not like imperialist smooth girly-men (and -womyn) butts. Pupovich?? With plugged nose, it's a DOG's a$$, for crying out loud!!! Theocritus? It would be an honor. Yourself as well, Comrade Colonel. My many talents have finally been recognized.

Leninka wrote:Well, it's about damned time, Comrade Theocritus. A girl needs a good foundation, and part of a good foundation are the stockings. Too think how Bruno has suffered all these years. It's, it's criminal! The panties are nice, too. Enough coverage, but delightfully sexy.

Ah yes, thank you Glorius Comrade Leninka, I have conversed with Dr. Hanibal, the operation will proceed tomorrow afternoon. He has procured the able assistance of Dr. Frankenstien for the surgery. The good Doctors shall work in collective harmony to bring forth wonders of the progressive Glorious World of Next Tuesday(TM)! Bruno shall walk, talk, and LIVE!

Bwhahahahahahahahahahaha!

Comrades

I may not speak for Red Rooster, but I do have to say before the verdict is read that we were both tortured in giving our confessions and that also should be taken in consideration.

The torture was using approved Party techniques, a typical example of Party methods.

Leninka, that's what F. Lee Bruno's legs look like <i>before</i> the stockings. And the feet are entirely too small. Size 14 EEE on platform mules. 4" cork platform mules. Shuffling back and forth, back and forth, to the intoxicating sounds of the rhumba...

I am shocked to see no proper expressions of guilt by the guilty.

Is Comrade Marshall Pupovich not the Czar of guilt?
Has guilt, like a rethuglican, now become extinct?
Has his O'liness now removed guilt from the collective?
Has our new utopia been achieved?

There's always guilt. Guilt that you are not doing enough for the collective. Guilt that you are insufficiently rigorous in your devotion to the Progressive World of Next Tuesday(tm). Guilt at having an individual thought. And guilt to be thrown at anyone who doesn't agree with you.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Leninka, that's what F. Lee Bruno's legs look like <i>before</i> the stockings. And the feet are entirely too small. Size 14 EEE on platform mules. 4" cork platform mules. Shuffling back and forth, back and forth, to the intoxicating sounds of the rhumba...

Commissar, do not be alarmed, I've been assured by the good doctors that we er they can fix ALL in due process. In Due Process.

Theocritus! You lie! You lie! I do <i>not</i> have size 14 EEE shoes. And my hands aren't big either. You know that I have a hard time holding a basketball in one hand. And my nose isn't big either. What does that say about me? That I'm a <i>lady</i>, by Babs, a <i>lady</i>!

And mules. I would never wear mules. Mules are what you get from Wal-Mart and I don't do Wal-Mart, unless it's the Martha Stewart section, or I need a couple of gallons of Nair. Wal-Mart is so <i>common</i>. And they don't have my sizes, like K-Mart does.

And when I go to Wal-Mart, which I never do, those greeters look at me so funny. You'd think they'd never seen someone with a fruit basket on his head. Don't they know <i>anything</i>? Haven't they seen any movies? I bet they don't even know who K. Fed is.

Oh! Oh! Blue-light special! Bye!

Reiuxcat wrote:I am shocked to see no proper expressions of guilt by the guilty.

Is Comrade Marshall Pupovich not the Czar of guilt?
Has guilt, like a rethuglican, now become extinct?
Has his O'liness now removed guilt from the collective?
Has our new utopia been achieved?

Comrade Reiuxcat,

You are correct. I for one, have not expressed enough guilt.

I feel guilt for fidgeting in Marshall Pupovich's courtroom, and for attempting to help Comrade Pinkie to knock him off the bench.

And, guilt, concerning Commissarka Pinkie for not assisting her more in the beautification of her coif.

And to my fellow thought criminals, Red Rooster, Snoogie Woogums, and Comrade Pieck for not keeping their guilt first and foremost along with my guilt.

And to Colonel 7.62, for not showing enough appreciation for the rifle he issued me, the one with the cement filled bore. My guilt is at your command.

And to Comrade Theocritus, for not being sensitive to Bruno's shoe size.

And to Comrade F. Lee Bruno, for disturbing his delicate state of mind, in any way.

F. Lee Bruno wrote:Theocritus! You lie! You lie! I do <i>not</i> have size 14 EEE shoes. And my hands aren't big either. You know that I have a hard time holding a basketball in one hand. And my nose isn't big either. What does that say about me? That I'm a <i>lady</i>, by Babs, a <i>lady</i>!

And mules. I would never wear mules. Mules are what you get from Wal-Mart and I don't do Wal-Mart, unless it's the Martha Stewart section, or I need a couple of gallons of Nair. Wal-Mart is so <i>common</i>. And they don't have my sizes, like K-Mart does.

And when I go to Wal-Mart, which I never do, those greeters look at me so funny. You'd think they'd never seen someone with a fruit basket on his head. Don't they know <i>anything</i>? Haven't they seen any movies? I bet they don't even know who K. Fed is.

Oh! Oh! Blue-light special! Bye!

Of course, you are a lady, dear little Bruno,
,
I am quite aware of the torture that Comrade Theocritus has put you through.

I knew it along that you did not care for mules, they really are, so, horsey, you know.

How about these, for a change?

Signal received from Elwood P. Dowd:


Mr. Cracker! Please get my friend Theocritus a drink and get his..... his nano Jimmy Carter rabbits one too...oh, and don't forget the pooka rabbit, Harvey.

Now where were we...



Harvey and I
sit in the bars...

and have a drink or two,
play the jukebox.

And soon the faces
of all the other people,
they turn toward mine
and they smile.



They're saying, "We don't know your name,
mister, but you're a very nice fellow."



Harvey and I...

warm ourselves
in all these golden moments.
We've entered as strangers.
Soon we have friends.



And they come over
and they sit with us,



they drink with us
they talk to us.

And they tell about the big,
terrible things they've done...



and the big, wonderful things
they'll do.



Their hopes
and their regrets,
and their loves and their
hates, all very large...



because nobody ever brings
anything small into a bar.



And then...



I introduce them
to Harvey.



And he's bigger and grander
than anything they offer me.

And...
and when they leave,
they leave impressed.

Oh...yes, show trials. We were speaking of show trials, weren't we?
Well, I like shows but not trials, but this Gang of Four....Mr. Cracker, can you get me four Party™ approved Margaritas for the Gang of Four? Thank you. Oh...and another martini for me.
Maybe if they have a drink they'll confess, you know, like all those people who tell me about the terrible things they've done.

Nano rabbits and Harvey thinks they should confess.
I do too.
Good for the Party™

Leninka, do not worry about Bruno's state of mind for he has none. Mind or state. Now mind you he often gets in a state, but as far as state of mind? No.

State of dress or undress? Yes.

State of duress? Often.

But state of mind? No.

Comrade Snoogie Woogums wrote:Comrades

I may not speak for Red Rooster, but I do have to say before the verdict is read that we were both tortured in giving our confessions and that also should be taken in consideration.

The torture was using approved Party techniques, a typical example of Party methods.

Yes, Comrade Snoogie, this torture was most disconcerting... in fact I am still suffering from the effects of it... I am traumatized for life! Will their be no mercy in this courtroom! Mercy! Mercy! Mercy!

Heir Counsel Bruno... be cautious, do not watch that Blue Light spin for too long you may have another epileptic fit.

Lenika, The Doctors thank you for the pumps.... er... cork heels... er most floaty procured shoes.

And... Is that... could it be... YES!!! The most Glorious Laika the Space Dog has graced this trial with his presence. Welcome Most Glorious Space Dog!!!

Leninka wrote:

Reiuxcat wrote:I am shocked to see no proper expressions of guilt by the guilty.

Is Comrade Marshall Pupovich not the Czar of guilt?
Has guilt, like a rethuglican, now become extinct?
Has his O'liness now removed guilt from the collective?
Has our new utopia been achieved?

Comrade Reiuxcat,

You are correct. I for one, have not expressed enough guilt.

I feel guilt for fidgeting in Marshall Pupovich's courtroom, and for attempting to help Comrade Pinkie to knock him off the bench.

And, guilt, concerning Commissarka Pinkie for not assisting her more in the beautification of her coif.

And to my fellow thought criminals, Red Rooster, Snoogie Woogums, and Comrade Pieck for not keeping their guilt first and foremost along with my guilt.

And to Colonel 7.62, for not showing enough appreciation for the rifle he issued me, the one with the cement filled bore. My guilt is at your command.

And to Comrade Theocritus, for not being sensitive to Bruno's shoe size.

And to Comrade F. Lee Bruno, for disturbing his delicate state of mind, in any way.

Thought Criminal Leninka,

This a good start.

However, I am not that tall, you will need to grovel at much a lower level.

Comrade Collectivists! Come one, come all, to the glorious world of Shiny Things! For even in the end The Great Motherland sucked viciously, like the evil KKKapitalist, on the black gold of The Motherland! No War For Oil(TM) my assets!!!!

Mr. Cracker, after you are done serving these fine proles drinks please feel free to admire the wears of Socialist Serenity(TM)...

Reiuxcat wrote:

Leninka wrote:

Reiuxcat wrote:I am shocked to see no proper expressions of guilt by the guilty.

Is Comrade Marshall Pupovich not the Czar of guilt?
Has guilt, like a rethuglican, now become extinct?
Has his O'liness now removed guilt from the collective?
Has our new utopia been achieved?

Comrade Reiuxcat,

You are correct. I for one, have not expressed enough guilt.

I feel guilt for fidgeting in Marshall Pupovich's courtroom, and for attempting to help Comrade Pinkie to knock him off the bench.

And, guilt, concerning Commissarka Pinkie for not assisting her more in the beautification of her coif.

And to my fellow thought criminals, Red Rooster, Snoogie Woogums, and Comrade Pieck for not keeping their guilt first and foremost along with my guilt.

And to Colonel 7.62, for not showing enough appreciation for the rifle he issued me, the one with the cement filled bore. My guilt is at your command.

And to Comrade Theocritus, for not being sensitive to Bruno's shoe size.

And to Comrade F. Lee Bruno, for disturbing his delicate state of mind, in any way.

Thought Criminal Leninka,

This a good start.

However, I am not that tall, you will need to grovel at much a lower level.

Comrade Rieux Cat,


After corresponding with "Miss Kitty," she tells me that a freshly caught
salmon is her favorite food. I hope you like her suggestion:

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Leninka, do not worry about Bruno's state of mind for he has none. Mind or state. Now mind you he often gets in a state, but as far as state of mind? No.

State of dress or undress? Yes.

State of duress? Often.

But state of mind? No.

I envy Bruno, but don't tell him this, as it might round out his head a bit.

Laika,

No need for the booze to get a confession out of me or the rest of the Gang. We have already sung like canaries earlier. For my part, I was under the dark side of the Conservative force and it took over my being, until I was able to use Progressive Jedi mind tricks to bring me back to prog reality.

I am still recovering though from the effects of the Conservative dark side influence and of course it is all Bush's fault and those evil rethuglicans.
I have hazy recollections of other horrid thoughts that I had done while in that altered state in addition to the thought crimes I have already confessed to earlier here.

I seem to recall:

That I thought the main stream media was actually biased in Obama's favor.

That John McCain was in fact not George Bush, and would have been a better President
then Obama.

That it was okay to be an American of white European descent and actually not feel guilty about it.

That a person should go out and earn a living instead of feeling he is owed one instead.

That I actually liked Sarah Palin, and her politics, you betcha.

Ohhhhh…….The horror of those thoughts that plagued my head and caused me to doubt the wise wisdom of the party!!!!!!!!

But now that I'm back to prog reality. I must say you are looking quite well (as if there wasn't a day that you wouldn't!). Is there any specific piece of defense “evidence” that we haven't already presented to the court that you might be interested in also looking over?
The Gang is always happy to present very fine defense exhibits to the Party elite.

Pssst……Red Rooster, Lennika, Pleick what trips a space dogs trigger? Ideas? Don't forget the rules for defense evidence giving. The three W's. Who to kiss, When to Kiss, and Where to kiss it……..Add a dash of insincere flattery, sucking up toadyism and shameless groveling while presenting.

S-W, I too know those dispiriting memories of non-progoriffic thoughts. That's why I recommend Jiffi-Lobo. I know, it's trite, but it's also tried and true. You cannot slip and go back if your prefrontal lobes have been liquified and sucked out of your cranium.

Once I too though that McCain would have made a better president, and as we saw His O'liness become a Rock Star president, the the press corps tweeting about what ice cream he has while people who were being beaten and shot in Iran were tweeting about what was happening, I for a second thought that things were wrong.

But no. Soon, with the help of a minor tune-up, i realized that the toasted almonds on Barry O's ice cream are so much more important than the freedom of tens of millions.

See what a scalpel will do for you?

Red Rooster wrote:

I am finding that I am not the glorious prog that I thought was and I have given up all hope of being an asset to The Party(TM).

Of course I blame all of this on my Rethuglikan Rooster father! I HATE HIM!!! And It's all Bush's fault! Had he been more like the glorius socprogs and secprogs of my post secondary re-education and treated my life more like a science experiment with sardonia and mealy mouthed comments and appeasment, rather than administering... dare I say it... tough love!!! Wahhhh! *sniff* *sniff* ... I break down in tears everytime I think of it, it was so painful not to be coddled and apeased at my every whim. To be treated like a living breathing young fowl, is far worse than anything I can imagine.

I denounce myself for finding wholesome innocence in this face!!!



I denounce myself for finding this attractive!


Mind you comrades, these were only fleeting thoughtcrimes that lasted only 3 years seconds! And the sickly thoughts of Fargo and benevolentmalevolent "You Betcha'ness" only lasted 10 years seconds!

I also denounce myself for drinking only regular coffe while in re-education camp and not slurping down more frapucino's and triple mocha mocha's.
<br>

And even though I served thousands of these while in re-education camp to pay my way and couldn't really afford to buy them, I should have severed my arm to make sure I could afford them, or stolen one from my employer at every opportunity, so I could appear prog enough for the 98% of the students who were sent there on their rich mommy and daddys dime, while they espoused the tragedies of "downtroddeness"....

Yes, comrades I admit it, I am thoughtcriminal of the worst order! Guilty, Guilty, Guilty! I hang my beak in MASSIVE SHAME for holy redemption. May I gently peck all your lordships feet while I am down here groveling for my redemption?

I denounce myself for saying "I" twenty-one times in my denouncement of myself. And I denounce myself for saying "I", "my", and "myself" in the previous sentence. And I denounce the person who wrote the previous sentence for saying "I", and "myself." And the person who wrote that last sentence is an egotistical asshole!!!!

There comrades, there's no more Red Rooster, and the shell that's left belongs to The Party(TM).

Commissar Theocritus wrote:A Batman squirt gun! Thank you, Leninka. I shall aim it at the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits and I'm sure that they will be terrified of it. After I have squirted them, I'm going to fill it again and squirt Cher, who will, I'm quite sure, melt.

Comrade Theocritus,

Your gratitude brings me to tears. I have fetched guns for Colonel 7.62, I've given Comrade Pinkie not only a hat, but my hair, as well as flattered her with emulation, fetched salmon for Comrade Rieuxcat, steak cake for Marshall Pupovich, Strudel for Comrade Blogunov, money for all, but it is only you that showed me thanks.

I will not forget this when I breath my last moments on one of your impaling posts.

Red Rooster, I see that you have come to the final realization there all is for the party and nothing outside the party. You have exterminated all signs of ego and sublimated them to the party.

Now that's real good, son, but don't peck your eyes out. This is for the masses, you know--I never had it so good since I started beating my chest and crying. Why, I can out-cry Jimmy Swaggart. Do you know how hard it is to see how big all the jewelry in the room is through all those crocodile tears? It's hard, I tell you, man, it's hard!

The Maoist self-criticism is good--and you do a good line in it. Insufficiently attentive to the needs of others... Thinking of myself... Concerned only with my own advancement...

Just make sure that you take pictures of people in compromising positions and listen behind every door and you'll go far.

Sitivens! Za gud Zocturs, FHhheir FHhhanibal nnnnnd Vfffrankestine fhave svffent meee-fffff, VfffIgorr Vffon fffYuggo, zffto ffpreventtt zffto ffyou za glff-lorrriouss verk ofvv zeir CRrrrreation...



*sllllllurrrrrpppp* hafffvv a niccffffee dzay....

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Red Rooster, I see that you have come to the final realization there all is for the party and nothing outside the party. You have exterminated all signs of ego and sublimated them to the party.

Now that's real good, son, but don't peck your eyes out. This is for the masses, you know--I never had it so good since I started beating my chest and crying. Why, I can out-cry Jimmy Swaggart. Do you know how hard it is to see how big all the jewelry in the room is through all those crocodile tears? It's hard, I tell you, man, it's hard!

The Maoist self-criticism is good--and you do a good line in it. Insufficiently attentive to the needs of others... Thinking of myself... Concerned only with my own advancement...

Just make sure that you take pictures of people in compromising positions and listen behind every door and you'll go far.

Did you take down the X cams I had installed at the Rancho!?!

Igor Von Yugo wrote:Sitivens! Za gud Zocturs, FHhheir FHhhanibal nnnnnd Vfffrankestine fhave svffent meee-fffff, VfffIgorr Vffon fffYuggo, zffto ffpreventtt zffto ffyou za glff-lorrriouss verk ofvv zeir CRrrrreation...

*sllllllurrrrrpppp* hafffvv a niccffffee dzay....

Igor!!! What the hell have you done, you slumping prole! The Good Doctors told me nothing of the "project" being finished!

We will be contacting them right away to get this bottom of this. The Woompa Loompas are watching you Igor, watching you closley, always watching..... remember it...

Mr. Cracker, can I get another drink over here?

Comrade Snoogie Woogums wrote:Laika,

No need for the booze to get a confession out of me or the rest of the Gang. We have already sung like canaries earlier. For my part, I was under the dark side of the Conservative force and it took over my being, until I was able to use Progressive Jedi mind tricks to bring me back to prog reality.

I am still recovering though from the effects of the Conservative dark side influence and of course it is all Bush's fault and those evil rethuglicans.
I have hazy recollections of other horrid thoughts that I had done while in that altered state in addition to the thought crimes I have already confessed to earlier here.

I seem to recall:

That I thought the main stream media was actually biased in Obama's favor.

That John McCain was in fact not George Bush, and would have been a better President
then Obama.

That it was okay to be an American of white European descent and actually not feel guilty about it.

That a person should go out and earn a living instead of feeling he is owed one instead.

That I actually liked Sarah Palin, and her politics, you betcha.

Ohhhhh…….The horror of those thoughts that plagued my head and caused me to doubt the wise wisdom of the party!!!!!!!!

But now that I'm back to prog reality. I must say you are looking quite well (as if there wasn't a day that you wouldn't!). Is there any specific piece of defense “evidence” that we haven't already presented to the court that you might be interested in also looking over?
The Gang is always happy to present very fine defense exhibits to the Party elite.

Pssst……Red Rooster, Lennika, Pleick what trips a space dogs trigger? Ideas? Don't forget the rules for defense evidence giving. The three W's. Who to kiss, When to Kiss, and Where to kiss it……..Add a dash of insincere flattery, sucking up toadyism and shameless groveling while presenting.

Comrade Snoogie Woogums,

Laika, high up in his ship, has spent the last 52 years looking down on the rest of us. Of course, it's a lofty position, but I bet that sometimes, he would nothing more than to be down here with us, in someone's living room, or a disco, dancing the night away with the rest of us. Imagine what it would be like for him to come back to earth, and not have to be on duty, constantly viligant, zapping our tinfoil hats. Yes, I think Laika might like a night on the town.

Dancing with the Dogs? Isn't that a prime-time show? Surely the Donald is involved. Perhaps he just bought it.

And Igor! How in the hell did you get a picture of Bruno in his Little Black Dress? I told him he can't wear that unless he gets rid of the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits. I know, I know, that those pointy-toed pumps are meant for killing cockroaches in the corner and perhaps the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits, but he's not worthy to be togged out in the Little Black Dress. He hasn't earned it.

Oh well. Soon it will be out of my hands. F. Lee Bruno is opening his own law practice, defending all progs from the consequences of being, er, progs, and stay tuned to this channel.

zsssooorrryyyy FfffCccomissarz ffffZeocritttuzzz.... nnnddd ffffReed ffff-Rooosvter, fffff-zu Zoctorzs zentt me, VfffIgorr Vffon fffYuggo, zere....

zye-ffff- iii bfffack zoo da lavoratory dunjin noww....

*sssllllluuuuuuurrrrrrpppppp*

That's right, Igor, and do take care. Wouldn't want anything to happen to you. And if you don't mind, could you stop drooling on the floor? That's a nice hunchback.

Finally Comrades! I have procured the latest creation from the Good Doctors, most progressive attire...

Oh. My. God. He found the armadillo purse. I took that away from Bruno because he was feeding the nano Jimmy Carter rabbits. If you feed them then they multiply and everywhere you go you near the hissing, "Nuclar! Nuclar! Nuclar!" There is no rest, no sleep. Nothing.

I was wondering where that other Pickelhaube had gone to. I knew that I had three, but normally he uses two Pickelhauben for his fake boobs and for such a long time the third one was missing. I figured he'd trapped a nano Jimmy Carter rabbit under it and was afraid to take it up, and now here it is on his head.

But do you know what the fishnet stockings look like on his legs? Rather gross. Imagine a putting a large bottle brush into a fishing net and you get the picture.

Comrade Snoogie Woogums wrote: Pssst……Red Rooster, Lennika, Pleick what trips a space dogs trigger? Ideas?

Memories.... sweet memories.... they tell a story, and remembering our story, and sharing our story, all those little things about us that happened on the journey, every detail until there is nothing left within us, and we arrive on The Collective Journey.

Eaten. Defiled. Empty. Known. Unknown.

Laika, your memories are glorious, such travels you heroically made for the sake of The People(TM). More glorious than a man walking on the moon, it is an awe inspiring story....







Like a dream.

Red Rooster,

Laika,

She never had a chance to return. She was just an animal launched in space. No concern if she lived or died, just a study if man could live in space.

The Soviet Union was rotten to the core, but the Russian people that chaved under that system never lost their humanity.

They knew that Laika would never return but instead of a cold blooded design in building her capsule they built her a window.




Poltics aside on this one.........I'm touched here, the Soviet Government was inhumane, brutal and oppressive, the Russian peoplethat had to suffer under that never were, they gave Laika a window.

Mr. Cracker….a round of drinks for all my new friends, put it on Elwood P. Dowd's tab.
This has been the showiest of show trials here at the Cube as long as I can remember.
It is of my opinion that the Gang of Four has been denounced and confessed plus shown proper respect towards the Inner Circle of the Politburo.
They have shown great ability at backstabbing, doublespeak, and absolute gibberish when it mattered the least.
They are true Party Comrades

Only one thing remains.

Have they been properly (not just "considered") whacked by Pinkie's Golden Shovel?

Indeed Hero Space Dog, the Gang of Four have shown all the noble traits of a a true Prog. They would make even the Obamessiah proud. I second the call for a round of drinks!

I quite agree. Noble Progs all. They are now balls-deep Progs like the rest of us.

And I always support the will of the people, especially the inner circle people!


Um, did someone mention free drinks?

Is there a party? Party! Party! Party! I'll bring my boom box and castanets and macacas. Oh. I mean maracas. That's it, they're like maracas.

Boom! Chick-a-boom chick-a-boom!

Dear Bruno,

First you must change into party clothes.

Leninka wrote:

Reiuxcat wrote:

Leninka wrote:
Comrade Reiuxcat,

You are correct. I for one, have not expressed enough guilt.

I feel guilt for fidgeting in Marshall Pupovich's courtroom, and for attempting to help Comrade Pinkie to knock him off the bench.

And, guilt, concerning Commissarka Pinkie for not assisting her more in the beautification of her coif.

And to my fellow thought criminals, Red Rooster, Snoogie Woogums, and Comrade Pieck for not keeping their guilt first and foremost along with my guilt.

And to Colonel 7.62, for not showing enough appreciation for the rifle he issued me, the one with the cement filled bore. My guilt is at your command.

And to Comrade Theocritus, for not being sensitive to Bruno's shoe size.

And to Comrade F. Lee Bruno, for disturbing his delicate state of mind, in any way.

Thought Criminal Leninka,

This a good start.

However, I am not that tall, you will need to grovel at much a lower level.

Comrade Reiux Cat,

After corresponding with "Miss Kitty," she tells me that a freshly caught
salmon is her favorite food. I hope you like her suggestion:

Leninka, you have got my attention.

This certainly tops licking blood of the floor. Get's my paws so sticky.

Reiuxcat wrote:Leninka, you have got my attention.

This certainly tops licking blood of the floor. Get's my paws so sticky.

My last kitty of 18 years, liked nothing better than a fresh baked salmon. And yet, she hated Fancy Feast Salmon. Her second favorite food was Bonkers, but she became a Bonkers addict, so I started substituting canned tuna for humans as a treat.

Komrades,

We are so re-educated from this glorious show trial that the fancy shiny Kapitalisthss Prog Off button no longer works.

Hail Che-Spotting!

F. Lee Bruno wrote:Is there a party? Party! Party! Party! I'll bring my boom box and castanets and macacas. Oh. I mean maracas. That's it, they're like maracas.

Boom! Chick-a-boom chick-a-boom!

fffff-Brunzo, ffffMayz Iyyee, VfffIgorr Vffon fffYuggo, fffhaz za ffffffirzt fffdanze?

*sssllllluuuuuuurrrrrrpppppp*

Nuts. I hate it when I miss a good show trial.

Still, I have found some incontrovertible evidence that might reignite the engines of justice within Marshall Pupovich.

INNOCENCE my Pleistocene ASS! I have testimony here from several species of small furry animals (and one Pict) that this gang of four

a. tittered when our many titted empress tippled too much and busted her all important elbow (or was it collarbone). This alone is grounds for breaking rocks in the hot sun for the rest of your bahama mamma-addicted lives.

b. egged on Major Garrett of Fox News to ask impertinent and redundant questions of The One

c. planted questions from questionable blogsites in a meeting of the lowly press and The O himself such that the bumbler Gibbs was forced to deny everything again

d. suggested that a recent poll contained an oversampling of Obama supporters thus skewing the results (as though any good party member knows what an oversampling even is!)

e. tried to divert public attention from The One's remarkable handling of the financial crisis by concocting wild speculative rumors about a freakin' missile from North Korea.

f. and refused to acknowledge the beauty and glory and wisdom of Judge Sotomayor even after she had been annointed by his Oliness himself.
<br>Though it is true that, Red Rooster, you have participated in nudist vacations to help save the environment, that you Leninka were undoubtedly the one to introduce Governor Sanford to that Argentinian hotty, and that this, Woogums, is probably your mother, and that for three or four days I went around saying "Genosse Pieck" over and over again for no apparent reason, NEVERTHELESS these things hardly speak in your favor against the grossness and audacity of the charges leveled against you.

I denounce you, Comrade Woogums, Comrade Rooster, Comrade Pieck and Comrade Leninka... and so does this Pict.

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After hearing this testimony I am eager to see how you all wriggle out of this petard!
(and where's my boat with two Brazilian hotties? I am a dinosaur with big appetites.)

So they were grooving with the Pict! (Grooving small furry animals are so much more tasty)

AbecedariusRex

It's pretty clear why you went extinct. The Trail is over your denouncement will be uncovered a million years from now.


I do have one last admission from the Gang though. Just in case the verdict didn't go our way, we did plot an escape attempt. We planted a shovel to tunnel our way out. Not just any shovel, but one modified so we could live off the land and until we could find safety.

We are all now made progs after this trial. We have no use for this modified shovel anymore. We wish to give it to Red Square. A Peoples Cube Army Shovel........ The Gang hopes that you are pleased with this.

That multipurpose "shovel" is not a true prog shovel. It's a shovel made by Microsoft. And it crashes every day. That may explain why the escape attempt didn't work.

Rex, I had not see the impertinent Major Garrett ask his O'liness that question, and horror of horrors, the follow-up. I was so pleased however to hear His O'liness say over and over that they were consistent. He was very consistent, in saying that he was consistent. In fact the only things that are consistent in the administration of His O'liness is their consistency in claiming consistency and consistency in their self-regard.

Now that defines consistent.

Snoop Woog!

Where's the Ice Pick on that Army Shovel?

I agree with Theocritus. This is the government-approved model that's now being issued:

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