Commissarka Pinkie wrote: Red Rooster: Spare me your bean counting and identity politics. I keep you solely to lay those Faberge Eggs. If Daffy Duck can do it, so can you. Obamacare will provide you with the services of a proctologist if you want available and fully funded, so stop squawking or you'll be a cock doodling in deep doo-doo!

Dear Her Holiness Phantasmal Sparkling Commissarka of Moonlit Nights Pinkie,

Please forgive me, but I will have to wait until The One waves his magical wand and the miracle of Obamacare appears. After your scolding I tried as you wished and well... I did end up in deep doo-doo!

Of course I could consult with Daffy, I'm sure it would be more less effective than visiting a Bozamba Health Care Professional.

Did you not enjoy the vodka?

Yes Commissarka coming right up... er, I'll need to make a quick trip to the Hen Brothel, er house... toooodoloooo BRB!

Ahhhh.... nothing like a trip to the chicken coup... always productive...



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And so Glorious Commissarka here is your "gift", all cooked up and ready to enjoy with that fine vodka:

And as a bonus Helga Hen laid this beauty for you:

Pinkie, welcome to the people whose image has been perverted into a capitalist corporate icon. I feel so special every Halloween.

Comrade Pinkie,

I have mixed feeling about you being appointed the prosecutor and not being appointed the judge. What the hell kind of prog paradise is this if they don't appoint you the judge.

So, I have decided to give you my hair in hopes that it give you the power to throw Marshall Pupovich off the bench.

So, you have my confession and my hair. Let's get this damned trial over with.

Leninka


P.S. I love a spectacle. Make this show trial one to remember.

Wait a beet picking minute! Now one of the Gang of Four is conspiring with the People's Prosecutor to overthrow the People's Judge? A clear sign of guilt.

On top of that Leninka, Pinkie does not need you to GIVE her anything. As a mighty Commissarka she can simply redistribute what she needs or wants, which is actually the same thing.

I say we add this to Leninka's many crimes!

WHAT!!!!!!!

I go off for a little beet planting in the countryside for a few days and I come back to this!

I'm innocent, I have nothing to do with these three Comrades, Pieck, Leninka and Red Rooster other than on official party business. And if you think you can can get me to squeal on them in order to save my own neck.

YOU ARE SADLY MISTAKEN.

I would never do that as I have Progressive Morals that are absolute!

I would ever tell you about Pieck and his impeccable accounting of party funds that are allocated down to the last dime. As a matter of fact that 20,000 expenditure at Marshall Pupovich's rehabilitation house for young wayward ladies, though given in cash at the time, well I'm just positive he got around to finally putting that on the books somewhere.

Leninka is also beyond reproach in this sorry attempt at a show trail. As a matter of fact I am glad she will have a chance to finally explain why she really had visited the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library on a recent trip. I never really bought her excuse that it was for research purposes on the man. I look forward to her clearing that up here.


Red Rooster is also totally innocent of these slanderious charges. So what if the bookmarks on his computer are to sites like Newsbusters, The Weekly Standard and Fox News. He is just being a well rounded and informed member of the Party.

So there, do your worst Colonel you'll get nothing out of me in obtaining any information to use on my comrades!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, Colonel 7.62,

It's my life on the line. I had to do whatever I could. I hope my bald head did not offend you. If I come out of this thing alive, at least my hair will grow back.

And, also in self defense, how many eggs will Pinkie be able to eat? Did she ever say to Red Rooster: "I want your eggs?" Besides, since when did roosters lay eggs? Does he not understand gender equality? What gave him the idea that he was entitled to those eggs? From whom did he steal those eggs?

Comrade Snoogie Woogums wrote: Red Rooster is also totally innocent of these slanderious charges. So what if the bookmarks on his computer are to sites like Newsbusters, The Weekly Standard and Fox News. He is just being a well rounded and informed member of the Party.

So there, do your worst Colonel you'll get nothing out of me in obtaining any information to use on my comrades!!!!!!!!!!

You tell him Snoogie, MUMS THE WORD! Glad to see you made it Snoogie, as stealthy as ever.

Yes, I keep those book marks for a good reason. What is more important for a Rooster of The Party(TM) than to keep tabs on The Fox(TM)!?! I have a hen house to watch over, and if that sly Fox(TM) is about to make a move, well I need to know!

Comrade Snoogie Woogums,

Finally, you're here! Where have you been? You can blame Comrade Red Square for bringing you into this. It is all his fault.

You have no idea of the desperation, the begging, the pleading and the bribing that has gone on. We have be so demoralized, demeaned, denuded. As you can see, I've lost my hair, already. It was all I had left, well maybe my mustache and goatee. But, I'll be damned if I am made to give up my Comrade Nansky Peloski eye-lift!

Leninka,

I was actually engaged in some field research for Red Rooster. I finally have the answer to the question that was perplexing him.

My research revealed the answer to his query "Why did the chicken cross the football field?" "Because she heard the referee was blowing fowls at the other end".

I understand Commissarka Pinkie is the prosecutor here? Damn.....Should have never sang that song "Feelings" to her on another thread in my attempt to woo her!!!!!!!!

Forgive me Pinkie-kins!!!!!!!!!!!

Leninka wrote: And, also in self defense, how many eggs will Pinkie be able to eat? Did she ever say to Red Rooster: "I want your eggs?" Besides, since when did roosters lay eggs? Does he not understand gender equality? What gave him the idea that he was entitled to those eggs? From whom did he steal those eggs?

That's for The Glorious Commissarka to decide not that chicken fryer Colonel 7.63 Sanders. I don't lay eggs although I am currently in training at The Daffy Duck School of Golden Yegg Laying™, however for now those eggs are 50% mine er belong to The Party(TM) and are from myThe Party(TM) Chicken Coup. As soon as Helga Hen and the other hens want to build their own hen house or chase off all the cats and foxes on there own or unclog the crapper or dig the ditches or run the electrical or hang the drywall or muck out the drainage ditches or hack 2 miles brush off the farm fence or repaint the chicken coup or plow the grain field or drill the water well or stick their claw in a 1000 watt box of live electictricity to retrieve a fried mouse carcus or climb through the attic and gather all the dead rats or roof the house with hot tar or change the oil on the Zil, is the day they can keep all the eggs! Until that time, they belong to The Party(TM), which includes both Roosters and Hens.

I'm sorry Comrade Leninka, I missed the part where you attended Sarah Lawrence. Our glorious Rahm 'Eat Your Children' Emmanuel gave a glorius speech there, and I quote... "there's nothing like taking advantage of a crisis and eating your children."

Comrade Snoogie Woogums,

You'd better come up with another song--quick! How about Donna Summers--Hot Stuff?

Leninka,

No worries I scored a couple of tickets to "The David Letterman Show" to pass to a good Fem Prog like Pinkie.

(We're covered boys!)

Comrade Red Rooster,

I'll accept your answer, for now. After all, we're in the same coop. You knowledge of chicken ranching is impressive, and I like eggs.

What is your experience in chasing off dogs?

Leninka wrote:Comrade Red Rooster,

I'll accept your answer, for now. After all, we're in the same coop. You knowledge of chicken ranching is impressive, and I like eggs.

What is your experience in chasing off dogs?

Coyote, Fox, Wolf, or... no... I won't say it... PUPOVICH'S?????

[b]Comrade Snoogie Woogums[/b] wrote:
No worries I scored a couple of tickets to "The David Letterman Show" to pass to a good Fem Prog like Pinkie.

(We're covered boys!)

Excellent! (Pssssstttt... are those the ones you snatched from the old lady when we snuck into the show?)

Comrade Red Rooster,

Oh, no, I didn't mean Marshall Pupovich. Not at all. Just chatting. I once had a rooster who was fearless and would chase any dog that came into the neighborhood. His name was Tito.

Comrade Leninka,

FFFWhew! I was worried you had a hankering to hack our Grand & Glorious Judge of the preceeding... Marvelous Marshal Pupovich.

I specialize in Coyote, Fox, Wolf, and Bobcat for The Party(TM). Mountain Lions have a tendency to pal around with me, but Cougars are a bit schizophrenic, so I wear my Great Dane disguise anytime I see one.

Now those little yapping dogs? They turn tail every time they see my feathers ruffle.

But Lenin save me, if the Taco Bell Chihuahua comes around... all I see is tacos!

And BLAM! I'm catatonic... and ripe for the pecking.

Leninka/ R.R

The good Marshall is going to be out for awhile.

Comrade Snoogie Woogums wrote: I was actually engaged in some field research for Red Rooster. I finally have the answer to the question that was perplexing him.

My research revealed the answer to his query "Why did the chicken cross the football field?" "Because she heard the referee was blowing fowls at the other end".

Excellent Comrade Snoogie Woogums! Now where is that striped traitor!

Ah HAH!

Comrade Snoogie Woogums wrote:Leninka/ R.R

The good Marshall is going to be out for awhile.

I'm thinking now might be a good time for a little confab on how we are going to get out of this. I'm leaning toward the ole "I had a rotten childhood defense myself".

GLORIOUS! Excellent idea Snoogie, it always pays to have a rotten childhood, and even if one doesn't, it always pays to pretend to be one of the wayward. I mean just look at at Marshal Pupovich here, a prime example of Party Prerogative(TM).

All childhoods are Party mandated, managed and approved. You cannot have a rotten childhood. By claiming such, you are criticizing The Party(TM) and further showing your guilt.

And if you grew up before The Party(TM) took over, then your childhood suffering was simply preparing you for the glorious socialist lifestyle, and therefore was beneficial and good for your prog development. Either way, you cannot blame your childhood.

Red Rooster / Leninka

I agree that the rotten childhood defense is the best way to go. Along with a good healthy dose of blackmail and shameless groveling. I would never propose that we use the picture, I just obtained of the Marshall be used to show the Good Marshall in a bad light to the upper echelons of the Party prior to our trial.
That would be rather sleazy on our part, and as the defendants we are above such things as good progressives.

Snoogie Woogums,

I concur. A rotten childhood has won me more prog friends than any other thing.

"Oh your Red!!!" they say.... "Ohhhh what was growning up on the reservation like?" "Wow! How long did you live in Compton!?!" You know the usual...

I would never wave that picture around, it's our secret and definitely shows the Marshal... well... GETTIN' IT ON IN PUP'S PLEASURE PALACE!!!! So mum's the word!

We're working on the blackmail and shameless groveling comrade, we have given glorious gifts. (Psssstttt... at the expense of The Party Treasure(TM) of course). We've slaved hard in the beet fields shoveling rations for The People(TM), who in turn made each of the gifts by hand out of hemp and cow dung. We even bled real blood as we have grovel and gifted our way through this trial already!

Hail Che!

Colonel 7.62

First off, my deep gratitude to you for 'including' me in this show trial. You can just imagine my thrill of being brought up on trump up manufactured charges, faked evidence and a forgone conclusion of guilt.

All childhoods are Party mandated, managed and approved. You cannot have a rotten childhood. By claiming such, you are criticizing The Party™ and further showing your guilt.

And if you grew up before The Party™ took over, then your childhood suffering was simply preparing you for the glorious socialist lifestyle, and therefore was beneficial and good for your prog development. Either way, you cannot blame your childhood.

I also wish to say thank you for the guidance in shutting down about the only defense we could actually come up with that just might save our necks. It is really impressive to see true prog justice at work here.

Speaking of true progs, I know a person of your stature in the party could actually live in a little better appointed state owned apartment then most of us such as Red Rooster or Leninka or myself have. I have to say you are truly an inspiration to us masses, that you have forgone that little luxury that no one in the party would deny you, and choose to live a truly humble existence on a small boat instead.

This shows real solidarity with the masses and a fine example for the rest of us to follow. If you don't mind, I'd like to share a photo of your boat to the masses so they can see how much of a true prog you really are.





Of course this would never be mentioned in the trial.

Snoogie Woogums, I hope Pinkie whacks you with her shovel good!

You post a picture of a powerboat, when I live on a sailboat. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Besides, I am a Colonel, and you are a thoughtcriminal. Of course I have a boat that suits my position in the party. I work so hard each and every day for The Greater Good(TM). My greater efforts benefit everyone. Except Pinkie. She hits me too much with her shovel. But I'm starting to like it. So that's OK. Mmm Pinkie, has anyone ever told you how striking your eyes are when the sunlight reflects into them off your shovel? Ahhh it's simply glorious. After you are done with the Gang of Four, perhaps you could play People's Prosecutor on me? Perhaps Judge Pupovich has a room for that sort of thing. I can even get you a bandoleer of carrots. Whadda say?

Anyhow, I'm getting off the subject. Time for more vodka!

Is that the Colonel sunning out on the deck there?

Red Rooster wrote:Is that the Colonel sunning out on the deck there?

Actually foul thoughtcriminal, I am the male comrade on the right drinking beer and receiving service from on of the lovely ladies at Pupovich's Pleasure Palace....

Colonel 7.62 wrote:I can even get you a bandoleer of carrots. Whadda say?

Uhhhh wrong "broads" Colonel... here she is:

Besides, I am a Colonel, and you are a thoughtcriminal.

Hey Colonel;

I had a thought once but it died of loneliness.

AHA! The diminished capacity defense!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Red you out there, I might have found a way out of this after all!

Me The Rooster? Or our Trapazoidal Leader or His Hellishness Red Star of Kicking in Doors at Midnight?

So much RED, so little time!

Nah, you birdbrain!

Your gonna like this. The Colonel thinks he is so smart by shutting down our rotten childhood defense. He didn't realize that if we employ the diminished capacity defense that we are going to have to produce evidence that we are nuts. You know what that means............Parents!! They are going to have to testify as to our mental condition. This is a sneaky way to get our horrible childhoods in front of the Marshall.

This is sooooo beautiful. I plead not guilty due to diminished mental capacity.

Marshall....."Do you have any evidence that supports your claim?"

Snoogie........." I suffered a traumatic childhood. nobody loved me and everybody hated me, my mother is here today she can tell you all about it."

By the way I have a feeling that your Mother may not be around anymore, she might have already been put in the bucket err, kicked the bucket. I'd roll with I'm nuts because my Mommy just up and left the family one day angle.

I'm starting to see a T.V movie of the Week in our future after this is over here. We is "victims".

Ahhhh see it worked... I don't even know who I am... better than going to Jiff-Lobo(TM)! I'm an idiot! I'm an idiot! I'm an idiot! (Pssssttt... how do I sound, nutty enough eh?)

And yeah, Moms is in the bucket! See that Colonel 7.62 Sanders is on the fowl shite list..>>>

Alright Snoogie, Officer Krupke it is... they'll never know what hit them!

Heheheheheheheheeh..... hahwahwhahwhahwhahwhahw.... BAGWAWWKK!

SINCE PUPOVICH IS INDISPOSED, I HEREBY PROCLAIM MYSELF THE JUDGE.

NEVER MIND THE GAVEL. I NEED ONLY MY SHOVEL.

I TRUST NO ONE HAS A PROBLEM WITH THAT . . . ?

Speaking of Pupovich, as he would say--EGGSELENT!



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And so Glorious Commissarka here is your "gift", all cooked up and ready to enjoy with that fine vodka:


And as a bonus Helga Hen laid this beauty for you:

Snoogie Woogums, you tread a fine line here with fowl puns. And that is <i>not</i> a pun. I would suggest that you gang of four are doing rather well in the first stages. Deny, deny, deny. Point the finger. Shift blame. Lie, lie, lie. Now all that remains for you to do is grovel.

Good progs love seeing other people grovel. We're all pack animals despite our vaunted individuality. That's because we <i>never</i> like to think. We plot and scheme, but always goose step in serried ranks. Just show your devotion to the party.

Oh, and right about now it's about time to come forth with some good old-fashioned Maoist self-confession. And make it green. "I denounce myself for buying coffee that was not picked by one-armed lesbian mountain-dwelling Indians in the mountains of Columbia." That sort of thing.

It doesn't have to be true, the Goracle knows, but it needs to sound sincere.

Comrade Commisarka,

in the spirit of Mao, I denounce myself for not having produced any Wienerschnitzel yet. It is part of the next 7-year-plan. Furthermore, I am not adept at making true Wienerschnitzel and calling it such as a) I am neither Viennese nor Austrian, b) make it with PORK (despite what the Religionists of Peace say - they don't have to eat it, do they?), and because of this, I have to call it "Schnitzel Wiener Art" (cutlet made in the viennese fashion) for c) fear of being sued by the imperialist Hapsburgs for d) attaching a name to something that it clearly is not. I will serve this with Bubbly Wine instead of Champaign, as I did not source it from that particular region in France. You see, I AM a victim of imperialist, regionalist, kaptialist exploiters, thus I plead GUILTY of all charges so I can continue plagiarizing them in the name of and for the benefit of international Socialism!

SINCE PUPOVICH IS INDISPOSED, I HEREBY PROCLAIM MYSELF THE JUDGE.

Pinkie...What!!!!!!

I think you should read watch this public service announcement and get a grip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w&feature=fvst

Pieck, you are I think on your way to an adequate defense of your, er, awful and heinous crimes, which are so really bad that I can't remember them right now.

Remember: Socialism is never having to say you're sorry.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:SINCE PUPOVICH IS INDISPOSED, I HEREBY PROCLAIM MYSELF THE JUDGE.

NEVER MIND THE GAVEL. I NEED ONLY MY SHOVEL.

Not so quick Commissarka! In fact, I have much to say indeed! I issued an order from the bench yesterday, and I see the Clerk failed to post it here! I am outraged! Be that as it may be, you will be hopefully pleased to note that I recognized your desire to be promoted and with the powers vested in me, appointed you to People's Prosecuter! Of course I see some fine work is being done by Colonel 7.62 or whatever version he is today, so you may wish to hire him as an Assistant. The courr also recognized Commissar Blugonov as counself for the defense, and you can be sure, these criminals are in need of counsel.

I would also like to point out that I have taken note and secured the many exhibits for the defense, the tasty steaks, the booze, the wads of OPM etc. I understand that these are not bribes as that would surely be a waste of time, thouigh of course they may help when is time to sentence the criminals.

But before we go any further..... I must denonce these criminals myself! It seems that my computer has been sorely infected with a trojan that clearly was sent my way by one of these criminals. Sure, they would like me to believe that my computer caught this from some friendly progressive porn downloader, or from surfing from some People's blog from some third world dictatorship, or trying to break into some neo=conservative web site. But I am not so easily fooled!

SO that being said, People's Prosecuter, swing that shovel the way that only you can swing it!

To Commissarka Pinkie,

Your power grab was most astounding and remarkable. Power goes to those who seize it (or something like that). Remember how our Comrade Fidel did it--he let others do the dirty work, then he stepped in, took command, killed and imprisoned all rivals, and eventually sent Comrade Che to the nether regions of the Bolivian jungle to be rid of him.

As for my new head scarf, it is comfortable, but baggy, and the only way I would have a chance of being equal with you would be if I could fill it with extra brain matter.

To Marshall Pupovich,

I mean no offense, your honor, but do you think it might be possible that it was Commissarka Pinkie who sent you the virus?

To Comrades Red Rooster, Snoogie Woogums and Pieck,

After reading your comments and then reading this comment from Colonel 7.62, I still believe we can use the rotten childhood defense.

All childhoods are Party mandated, managed and approved. You cannot have a rotten childhood. By claiming such, you are criticizing The Party™ and further showing your guilt.

Colonel 7.62,

Perhaps we may not criticize the party, but then again, is not the party our parent? Can they not be blamed for lack of discipline? Not enough whacks from Pinkie's shovel? Not enough nips from Pupovich, or shocks to our tinfoil hats from Laika? It is not they who have been remiss, in their failure to make us tow the party line? And Comrade Theocritus has told us many times: "It's never your fault." And what about chocolate? Where is our ration of chocolate?

Marshal Pupovich wrote:

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:SINCE PUPOVICH IS INDISPOSED, I HEREBY PROCLAIM MYSELF THE JUDGE.

NEVER MIND THE GAVEL. I NEED ONLY MY SHOVEL.

The courr also recognized Commissar Blugonov as counself for the defense, and you can be sure, these criminals are in need of counsel...

...SO that being said, People's Prosecuter, swing that shovel the way that only you can swing it!

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:

Red Rooster: Since no one else is clamoring to say otherwise (and should Colonel 7.62 try, I will only whack him with my shovel) I find great favor with you.

Thank you Glorious Commissarka, as I am truly in deep doo-doo since joining
The Daffy Duck School of Golden Yegg Laying™.... and I have continued to dig my own grave with that dern chicken fryer the Colonel and others. I am finding that I am not the glorious prog that I thought was and I have given up all hope of being an asset to The Party(TM).

Of course I blame all of this on my Rethuglikan Rooster father! I HATE HIM!!! And It's all Bush's fault! Had he been more like the glorius socprogs and secprogs of my post secondary re-education and treated my life more like a science experiment with sardonia and mealy mouthed comments and appeasment, rather than administering... dare I say it... tough love!!! Wahhhh! *sniff* *sniff* ... I break down in tears everytime I think of it, it was so painful not to be coddled and apeased at my every whim. To be treated like a living breathing young fowl, is far worse than anything I can imagine.

I denounce myself for finding wholesome innocence in this face!!!



I denounce myself for finding this attractive!


Mind you comrades, these were only fleeting thoughtcrimes that lasted only 3 years seconds! And the sickly thoughts of Fargo and benevolentmalevolent "You Betcha'ness" only lasted 10 years seconds!

I also denounce myself for drinking only regular coffe while in re-education camp and not slurping down more frapucino's and triple mocha mocha's.
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And even though I served thousands of these while in re-education camp to pay my way and couldn't really afford to buy them, I should have severed my arm to make sure I could afford them, or stolen one from my employer at every opportunity, so I could appear prog enough for the 98% of the students who were sent there on their rich mommy and daddys dime, while they espoused the tragedies of "downtroddeness"....

Yes, comrades I admit it, I am thoughtcriminal of the worst order! Guilty, Guilty, Guilty! I hang my beak in MASSIVE SHAME for holy redemption. May I gently peck all your lordships feet while I am down here groveling for my redemption?

(Except that chicken fryer Colonel, he's got hell to pay!)

Comrades and Loyal Members of The Party

I hereby confess to being the lowest of the low and guilty of heretical thought crimes. I was seduced by the dark side of the conservative force. It took hold of me and slowly twisted my pure progressive thoughts.

While under this unholy influence I committed the following horrid crimes:

I watched Fox news and found it entertaining.

I got upset at David Lettermans joke about Sarah Palin's daughter.

I could say the word "Bush" and not actually froth at the mouth.

I "gasp" thought Obama is turning out to be a pretty crappy President.

I thought at first these horrid thoughts were the cause of some childhood trauma and would go away if I sought help at a peoples treatment center. But the conservative force that infected me was so strong that I even abandoned that option and continued on my downward spiral. I finally able to throw of the dark side of the progressive through the use of progressive Jedi mind-tricks.

I humbly grovel for party forgiveness. I beg for understanding. I am the weakest of the weak, a slug, a worm who deserves a good whack from Pinkies shovel ( a thought that I for some weird reason find strangely stimulating)..... A mole, A snakes belly, whale dung.......Well you get the idea.

Oh, I also have about twenty free tickets to see the movie "Che" up for graps here.

Comrade Snoogie Woogums wrote: Oh, I also have about twenty free tickets to see the movie "Che" up for graps here.

(Pssst Comrade Snoogie... sorry I didn't get these to you earlier, they're the real thing, just like I promised):

Good for you Snoogie, I think.

I, Leninka, hereby confess to the following:

That I walked up to Ollie North while he was shopping in a Detroit airport bookshop and asked to shake his hand when no one else recognized him.

That I sent comrade Red Square subversive literature about a fancy resort hotel in the Bahamas.

That I attempted to infect Komissar Blogunov's computer.

That I put cayenne pepper in my hair before giving it to Comrade Pinkie.

That I tried to put ex-lax in Marshall Pupovich's steak cake.

That I moved to Texas to escape the onslaught of California Progs to where I was living.

That I further corresponded with Ollie North and was thrilled to receive a signed photo from him.

That I attempted to lead Red Rooster in conspiracy to chase Marshall Pupovich off the bench.

That I attempted to steal a rifle from Colonel 7.62 with the intent to stage a coup.

That I made excuse after excuse after excuse for my behavior.

And that I will do the following to make amends:

That I will take my shovel, dig a hole four and one half feet deep, get in, so that only my head is showing, and allow Pinkie to first whack me with her shovel, Laika to shock my tinfoil hat, and Marshall Pupovich to nip me.

Komissar Blogunov

So here I am, SW, the People's appointed defense attorney at your service. Confess and grovel. I have a pounding headache that makes me feel that there ought to be an impression of a shovel on the back of my skull, and I'm just not into the defense thing today

.

I'm glad that you where appointed to represent me. Had I known this earlier I would not have seeked different counsel. A friend of mine recommended another attorney for me, she said he was quite good in her murder trail, and I have been working with him.

Perhaps he can be co-counsel now that you are the lead?

His name is Fluffy Bunny Esq.

You might have worked together on cases in the past.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3eqWYGahgA

To the Gang,

I'm so glad Marshall Pupovich is the judge. We couldn't ask for a finer more noble canine specimen and party leader then this. His wisdom is beyond reproach, his tail wags inspire the masses. He is without a doubt one of the best people to walk the planet on all fours.

(Pssst........Between the bribes, confessions and the groveling, I figure a little toadyism couldn't hurt here either.)

Comrade Snoogie Woogums wrote: I'm so glad Marshall Pupovich is the judge. We couldn't ask for a finer more noble canine specimen and party leader then this. His wisdom is beyond reproach, his tail wags inspire the masses. He is without a doubt one of the best people to walk the planet on all fours.

Me too Snoogie, Marshall Pupovich is beyond reproach and by far the most equal judge I have encountered in all my devoted years to The Party(TM), not to say I've been to see more judges, er... just saying he's pretty swell and like, you know, impressive!


(Psssstt... if it were for Commissar Theo's naturally progressive guidance and Commissarka's shovel backing that gun happy Colonel into the corner, we'd a been sent to the gas chamber for sure! Sneaking into the Letterman Show without People's Tickets is as big a crime as passing chicken shit on Nansky Peloski's lear jet rug! Trust me! Just don't ask...)

Criminals, I must say that in all earnestness, to see you four Criminals confess, blame others, and accuse other Comrades, has brought a tear to my eye. No wait, I was just eating some crawfish, sucking the heads and all that, examining some of the defense exhibits already provided, and a bit of socialist slobber got out.

Not to worry, I will be just fine.

So, that leaves us where? Oh yes, your confessions. I am prepared to dispense with you... er... this case and issue my ruling.... provided there is no further objection from your defense or the People's Prosecuter.

Red Rooster

I just can't expand on how wonderful the Marshall is! I also have to say Commissar Theo and Commissarka Pinkie are also Glorious and wise human beings that are also beyond reproach.

(Pssst...... If they ever found out about the Letterman thing we sure would be sent to the shredder big time. Speaking of shredders then you run the copy of "Atlas Shrugged" through it yet????? We sure wouldn't want the party to find all four of our fingerprints on that book we've been sharing!!!!)

This is so exciting, Theo told me I get to send a firing squad to the impaling section of his Rancho. So much progressive fun is about to happen, I can hardly contain myself. Impaling, blue dress flogging, and a firing squad on what is left.

Anyone want a big bucket of fried chicken?

Comrade Snoogie Woogums wrote:Red Rooster

I just can't expand on how wonderful the Marshall is! I also have to say Commissar Theo and Commissarka Pinkie are also Glorious and wise human beings that are also beyond reproach.

(Pssst...... If they ever found out about the Letterman thing we sure would be sent to the shredder big time. Speaking of shredders then you run the copy of "Atlas Shrugged" through it yet????? We sure wouldn't want the party to find all four of our fingerprints on that book we've been sharing!!!!)

Comrade Snoogie,

Excellent, Glorious Beings Indeed! They make the masses quiver in delight!

(Psssssttt.... Already shredded Shrugged!!!! Along with We The Living, Anthem, The Fountainhead, Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal, The Romantic Manifesto, The Virtue of Selfishness, For The New Intellectual, Philosophy: Who Needs It, The Return of the Primitive: The Anti-Industrial Revolution.... er, I mean never heard of em, never read em, hell I've got a progressive public education...I can't even read..... yeah, that's the ticket.)

Marshal Pupovich

So, that leaves us where? Oh yes, your confessions. I am prepared to dispense with you... er... this case and issue my ruling.... provided there is no further objection from your defense or the People's Prosecuter.

I Comrade Snoogie Woogums have no further objections and await your most wise, compassionate ruling.

P.S....... Your looking quite well today, have you been working out? I also forgot to mention about Comissarka Pinkies prosecutors uniform. She looks stunning, there isn't a single piece of a woman's wardrobe that she could ever wear that would ever make that woman look fat.

7.62, between us Made Progs, all that was to encourage a few little remembrances. You know the bit in <i>The Mikado</i> when Pooh-Bah says, "Choose your fiction and I'll endorse it. And I expect to be grossly insulted</i>.

I for once classify insults into two categories: insults, like saying that I am not a cuddly bear of caring-n-compassion, or that I do not fall on the ground frothing when someone says "Bush" and I mean with a capital letter. I'm very broadminded, or broad-tolerant. Pinkie has insured that and I have to comb my hair differently now.

The other insult is the acceptable insult. The Poo-Bah insult. Since we are incorruptible Progs, we <i>never</i> would do anything underhanded, like accept bribes. But if we were to, uh, take an envelope behind the back, it would not be corruption if we were insulted.

So I expect to be gravely insulted. In the right way of course.

Personally I feel as insulted as Bill Clinton's cigar maker when he saw where Bill was putting those things.

I don't think the Gang of Four should be allowed to get away with their insulting behavior one bit.

No, they can insult their way out of their insults, if you get my drift. My hand behind my back is open, the fingers twitching.

Colonel 7.62

Since we are going to all have to wait awhile until the verdict is read. I would like to offer you a little reading material to help you pass the time. Just a friendly little gesture to you. I think you might enjoy it.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:No, they can insult their way out of their insults, if you get my drift. My hand behind my back is open, the fingers twitching.

I've had both twitching hands behind my back waiting for the right kind of insult.

Commissar Theocritus, are all preparations ready at the Ranchero should I rule for this gang of four to be "thrown on the mercy of the court?" There is much to consider, compelling evidence, glorious denouncing, shameless cozying up to the judge, confessions of guilt that would bring tears to the eyes of Uncle Iosef. I hope to rule on this sometime this evening. I am waiting to see if the Prosecution has any more to add.

WAIT A chicken pecking moment, we The Gang of Four have one more bribe er revolutionary "gift" er piece of evidence to present to the court:

Colonel 7.62 wrote:

Commissar Theocritus wrote:No, they can insult their way out of their insults, if you get my drift. My hand behind my back is open, the fingers twitching.

I've had both twitching hands behind my back waiting for the right kind of insult.

Colonel 7.62,

1. I can shoot a rifle, a shot gun, a pistol, or whatever you put in my hands better than any Red Army Colonel.

2. Just one of my Houston Palmetto bugs is capable of distracting you to the point of madness.

3. Let those bullets fly. I'll bite them, chew them, and send them back to you in the form of a dart that will put you into a coma for days.

Commissar Theocritus,

1. The ink in your pen is more valuable than anything you have ever said.
2. Your knowledge of Prog principles would rattle in a gnat's bladder.
3. I don't believe Bruno's head is large enough to support even a Yamika, much less a fruited hat.
4. The only decent citizen to ever warrant Culo de Pecos fame is Clay Allison who "never killed a man that didn't need killing."
5. My Al Franken squirrels have more talent in one digit of one paw that an entire flock of your talent pooping pigeons.

Mine! MINE!!!

AAA-LLLL MINE!!!!!

Uh Colonel... don't look now but the Commissarka has procured your gift bribe the evidence. Watch out for that shovel!

It is merely the proggish thing to do. Commissarka Pinkie saw the golden eggs I had, and redistributed them to herself. Plus she has The Shovel. In fact I was going to give them to her anyway. Plus she has The Shovel. And my head still hurts from the last time I crossed her.

Yes comrade I understand perfectly, my condolences congratulations on your whackings!

Leninka, is now the time for gratuitous insults which are not bankable? I was thinking on the terms of, "I am so insulted that you offer me this bribe [ sotto voce ] where other people can see you offer me it."

But as far as Bruno's hat size, if you think that's an insult, you're wrong. That's merely the truth.
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Now do you see the reason for the fruit basket on his head?

Oops. Sorry, Comrade Theocritus. Poor Bruno, poor little pin-headed Bruno. I did go back to discover your post about how you classify insults, and I, all I can say, is that I didn't remember. Mea culpa.

Red Rooster

NOW THAT IS WHAT I CALL SOME DEFENSE EVIDENCE!!!!!!!!

Nice work, Very Nice Work. The Colonel's Symbol was quite the added touch (and does him quite the justice as he cuts such a fine figure as it is!!!!!

Good Job.

Pssst........ Theo does tend to talk on a much higher intellectual level than us average proles, but from what I can gather from his posts, he's looking for a little grease on his palms also. You got a few more of them golden eggs in ya????
One with a medieval montif added would just be the ticket I think.....remember Mums the word!!!!!!

It's 10:39pm do you know where your Dear Leader is? I've been slaving over a hot grill all day, so whether I am the BBQ or enjoy the BBQ is no matter, anything for The Party(TM)....

Up North....

Comrade Theocritus,

Below, although they are but trifling baubles, are some vintage clip-on earrings for Bruno. I don't believe my fellow defendants will mind. Some may insult shower you with gilded statues and the like, but my gift, and the very least, proves that I am thoughtful. I believe Bruno will like them. I only ask that you give them to him without any condition. Do not make him grovel or beg, or force him to whine.

Comrade Snoogie Woogums wrote:Red Rooster

NOW THAT IS WHAT I CALL SOME DEFENSE EVIDENCE!!!!!!!!

Nice work, Very Nice Work. The Colonel's Symbol was quite the added touch (and does him quite the justice as he cuts such a fine figure as it is!!!!!

Good Job.

Pssst........ Theo does tend to talk on a much higher intellectual level than us average proles, but from what I can gather from his posts, he's looking for a little grease on his palms also. You got a few more of them golden eggs in ya????
One with a medieval montif added would just be the ticket I think.....remember Mums the word!!!!!!

Thanks Comrade, but there can be no more baubles tonight as I have been relegated to the gulag on a less equal People's Computer(TM). It's what happen's to all Roosters on Fathers Necessary Useful Idiots For Copulation and Home Repair Day. It's BBQ and "Now, off to the gulag with you!" Which is only right in The Glorius World of This Tuesday(TM).

Ah, excuse me, I must get back under The Peoples(TM) sink and fix the plumbing. Maybe when Obamacare is glorious distributed I can fix my own so that I may enjoy shiny things more.

Red Rooster and all Comrades on the Cube.



I do understand Red Rooster today is a day for the family collective to get together in Glorious Socialist Solidarity and of course things can wait. I also wish to extend to all Comrades who happen to be Fathers on the Cube, and all those who have extended Socialist greetings to their own fathers on this day, my sincere gratitude to you. The most important job on the planet in this Comrades humble opinion is the job of being a good parent. I have no doubt that the folks on the cube if they are parents are nothing but that.

No worries Red Rooster. I got the 'wink wink' package just now in the mail. I'll see what I can do with it tonight. If it turns out half as well as I expect Theo will be most pleased.

my palm itches and not all of the Gang of Four have insulted me yet.

Oh well. I've made my denouncements, and let the People's Prosecutor have the Golden Yeggs. Justice, such as it is will prevail.

Mmmm Woogums has a dirty diaper, the foul fowl left a mess on the floor, the kraut left well kraut on the table, and Leninka's hair is all over the place. YOU THOUGHT CRIMINALS ARE DISGUSTING! This courtroom is a mess. What will Judge Pupovich say? Prosecutor Pinkie will be most upset. All this extra work for our dear Sister Massively Opiated, she of the Party Housekeeping and Corpse Disposal staff. Looks like there will be four more bodies for her to deal with soon.

I'm taking bets on who goes first.

Snoogie-Woogums, your most recent post reminds me of another test of progness and Party loyalty for the Gang of Four.

Let's see if any of you can wade through this without (a) rolling your eyes; (b) yelling, "Oh, puh-leeze!" or (c) puking.

I'm telling you, not a man who ever walked this planet was any kind of excuse for a father before Obama came along to show everyone how it's done. All that's missing is the cardigan and pipe.

Commissarka Pinkie

Please mercy!!!!!!!! Whack with your shovel a thousand times. I beg you, I really do. I read your link, Why, Why, Why??????? Was I not tortured enough to get my confession?

How much can one take? I can never match " The One".

Thanks to red Red Rooster and his crazy egg laying abilities,

I have only one last piece of evidence in our defense and it is for Theo. A Fabrege Egg. A Russian art form that I hope would even make Red Square proud.

Snoogie Woogums, this old balls-deep prog's eyes are rheumy with gratitude. I have not been this happy since dear Teddy walked from the murder of Mary Jo Kopechne. Well, he's a Kennedy, isn't he? What's a girl among balls-deep progs?

During my next impaling I shall have that Fabergé egg on my parquet-inlaid table on the dais with the Waterford and stroke my Preciousssss...

Leninka, Bruno thanks you for the earrings. They match his Carmen Miranda hat perfectly and are just the same color palette as his platform mules. And when he sucks on them they, being plastic, do not get waterlogged. I only have to watch to make sure he doesn't stuff them up his nose. I keep a pair of forceps in every room just for fishing marbles, cubic zirconium and beans out of his nose, and I assure you it's no fun. Particularly the cubic zirconium. It has sharp edges and is too expensive to throw away. I have a cheesecloth bag which I throw the messy things in and run through the washing machine. The beans I give to proles.

Pinkie, your exploration of the SFGate inspires me to promote you to Commissarka of Honey-Dippers.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote: Let's see if any of you can wade through this without (a) rolling your eyes; (b) yelling, "Oh, puh-leeze!" or (c) puking.

I'm telling you, not a man who ever walked this planet was any kind of excuse for a father before Obama came along to show everyone how it's done. All that's missing is the cardigan and pipe.

That was a glorious article Commissarka, but I was thinking of something a little more progressive for The New Whyte Hoose Womyn's Council to promote on Fathers
Necessary Useful Idiots For Copulation and Home Repair Day(TM):

Leninka wrote:

Colonel 7.62 wrote:

Commissar Theocritus wrote:No, they can insult their way out of their insults, if you get my drift. My hand behind my back is open, the fingers twitching.

I've had both twitching hands behind my back waiting for the right kind of insult.

Colonel 7.62,

1. I can shoot a rifle, a shot gun, a pistol, or whatever you put in my hands better than any Red Army Colonel.

2. Just one of my Houston Palmetto bugs is capable of distracting you to the point of madness.

3. Let those bullets fly. I'll bite them, chew them, and send them back to you in the form of a dart that will put you into a coma for days.

Commissar Theocritus,

1. The ink in your pen is more valuable than anything you have ever said.
2. Your knowledge of Prog principles would rattle in a gnat's bladder.
3. I don't believe Bruno's head is large enough to support even a Yamika, much less a fruited hat.
4. The only decent citizen to ever warrant Culo de Pecos fame is Clay Allison who "never killed a man that didn't need killing."
5. My Al Franken squirrels have more talent in one digit of one paw that an entire flock of your talent pooping pigeons.

Colonel 7.62,

My apologies for foolishly not delivering to you the correct kind of insults, as Comrade Theocritus, so patiently explained to me. After much consideration, I thought the little gun might trip your fancy.

It is a Batman squirt gun. I hope you like it.

Leninka

P.S. My apologies for being retarded tardy in getting this insult to you.

Nah, I'm still insulted. I'm the straight one, and Theocritus is the gay one. A squirt gun with the trigger so obviously homo erotic as the batman squirt gun is worse than no insult at all.

I'm going to especially enjoy your demise.