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I Demand An Investigation!

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Comrades this is troubling news indeed. Our country has been employing a weather weapon which has caused crops to wither in the Motherland. How many millions have died over the years this weapon has been in use?

More troubling still, this weapon didn't just spring into existence. It has been in use since the Vietnam War. That means every President, including Obama knows about it and has approved it's use. And what of Al Gore? He was Vice President for 8 years under comrade Clinton. What did he know?

Read on comrades, here is the indisputable truth...

As Muscovites suffer record high temperatures this summer, a Russian political scientist has claimed the United States may be using climate-change weapons to alter the temperatures and crop yields of Russia and other Central Asian countries.

In a recent article, Andrei Areshev, deputy director of the Strategic Culture Foundation, wrote, "At the moment, climate weapons may be reaching their target capacity and may be used to provoke droughts, erase crops, and induce various anomalous phenomena in certain countries."

The article has been carried by publications throughout Russia, including "International Affairs," a journal published by the Foreign Ministry and by the state-owned news agency RIA Novosti.

In the article, Areshev voiced suspicions about the High-Frequency Active Aural Research Program (HAARP), funded by the U.S. Defense Department and the University of Alaska.

HAARP, which has long been the target of conspiracy theorists, analyzes the ionosphere and seeks to develop technologies to improve radio communications, surveillance, and missile detection.

Areshev writes, however, that its true aim is to create new weapons of mass destruction "in order to destabilize environmental and agricultural systems in local countries."

Areshev's article also references an unmanned spacecraft X-37B, an orbital test vehicle the Pentagon launched in April 2010. The Pentagon calls X-37B a prototype for a new "space plane" that could take people and equipment to and from space stations. Areshev, however, alleges that the X-378 carries "laser weaponry" and could be a key component in the Pentagon's climate-change arsenal.

The Pentagon was not immediately reachable for comment.

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Eyes Only:
We're looking in to all this Comrade Whoopie. Just about all of your report is highly classified. I can clear up the info about the X-37B. That's Laika's new Rocket Plane. He's been having a ball test flying it:

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This isn't the first time we've had a "weather altering machine", remember HOLYCRAP? I'm just guessing here, but I'm thinking HAARP must be an upgraded version of HOLYCRAP.

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Just a thought:

Our Russian comrades were getting a little too cozy with "western capitalism" dontcha think?

Do we need fat tanned fellow travelers?

NYET!

Pale and starving is the progressive way!

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Balaklava Allahu Salamana Araba Kilkurda!

Marx'Allah, in his infinite wisdom, has relayed to me through his Prophet Leninhammad that Anthropogenic Global Warming is a punishment against the horrendously sinful disbelieving scummy KKKapitalist KKKafirs who are illegally-occupying Islamo-Socialist Russiastan and enforcing their degenerate laws instead of the only legitimate laws, those of Marx'Allah as established in the land by His proletarislim mumin-proles; one need only read Das Koranpital and the Marxislamic Hadithfesto to comprehend the magnitude of Marx'Allah's chastisement...

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Don't overlook the obvious...

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Wherever the BU$H flies, PEOPLE DIE!

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Alfred raises a very important question: Just where is George W. Bush? Do we have any proof that he is not behind this unprovoked attack on the former Soviet Union (I for one refuse to call it "Russia")? This is just the tip of the disappearing iceberg, my friends. Bush and a sinister cabal of Anthropogenic Global Warming Denier "scientists" (which you may read as "paid hacks of Big Oil"), renegade military officers, and wet-work specialists from the Republican Party's HVAC (Horrible, Vicious Action Committee) have created a shadow government that controls all the nefarious technology secretly developed by Republican governments since the end of the Civil War.

They control:
  • An Earthquake Machine, most recently deployed in Haiti (an early, steam-powered version caused the Krakatoa explosion and subsequent earthquakes).
  • A Weather Making Machine, currently destroying the former Soviet Union.
  • A Tidal Wave Machine, notoriously used against Southeast Asia.
  • A Space-based Volcano Ray capable of causing an eruption anywhere on Earth.
  • Massive tunnel-boring machines capable of disrupting geological structures--can you say "Deep Water Horizon "disaster?"
  • Fleets of stealth-technology aircraft equipped with high-pressure spray tanks for lacing the atmosphere with bioengineered carcinogens.
  • A "De-hydrolyzer Ray" (also space-based) used to suck the water from popcorn kernals, insuring an inordinate number of unpopped kernals, resulting in movie-goers a) turning to more fatty, less healthy movie snacks and b) being so upset by the bad popcorn that they fail to appreciate the true greatness of the latest George Clooney film exposing the evils of Republican-run government and how bad the United States is (a dual purpose weapon).
  • A specially-designed nuclear submarine capable of superheating water in the path of a hurricane to insure longer and more devastating storms; used only against cities with large minority populations, the thought criminals callously call it "The Ghetto Blaster!"
And these are only the ones we know about!

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I DENOUNCE COMRADE WHOOPIE!

It is a scientific fact that when something negative happens the only possible explination is Bush did it!

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Hmmmm... is that to be why there was such bad drought that was for making the Country Peoples Poppy Production not to be so much for producing in the early 2000. The evil BusHitler was for doing such testing in the Afghanistan first! Maybe Taleeban was wrong for saying we were not for doing the good praying. But as the least we were for getting rid of such pesky statues of the buddhas.

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I have it on good account from a commenter (living in Maryland) to the original article posted above that the weather machine is currently being used to create an artificial low (or was it high?) pressure zone over California, the aim being to guarantee calm waters in the Gulf of Mexico to aid in the oil clean up efforts.

He states that this has had the unintended consequence of causing catastrophic weather patterns in Russia.

(I think he's a Pentagon shill who is trying to gloss over the real aim of this weather weapon)

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The culprit is, obviously, George Bush. After all, was it not George Bush who faked the Pearls Harbor attacks, staged the moon landings, blew up the World Trade Center, and invented AIDS?

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Comrades,

There is something disturbing about all of these magnificent inventions, if they do exist.
And that is that there are still citizens like Areshev from Mother Russia that have been duped into believing there is such a thing as American Exceptionalism ™ .

This Areshev seems to think that Americans can invent just about anything, if they put their minds to it. Of course, he is dead wrong. There never has been, never will be any such thing as American Exceptionalism ™ and these Russians must be thoroughly re-educated to believe and understand this. It is the things that were invented under our glorious system in Russia which were exceptional, not here, in this sewer of capitalism.


 
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