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I Denounce Elizabeth Warren's Genetic Cultural Appropriation

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[img]/images/various_uploads/Elizabeth_Warren_Fireball_Whiskey.jpg[/img]

Comrades, once again I return from the murky depths of time, space, (and the struggle to pay my bills as a freelance writer and consulting historian- who would have thought a degree from the Evergreen State College would have been such a liability?) to denounce Comrade Elizabeth Warren's genetic cultural appropriation.

It is likely true that around the same time as the United States was founded, one of her ancestors was engaging in a very close cultural exchange with a Native American. Unfortunately for Elizabeth "Indian Princess" Warren, the cultural exchange did not carry forward more than a generation or two, and soon the legacy of having a Native ancestor became lost in the sort of family mythology pale white people tell each other when they want to add a little spice to their background.

Much like how people, whose ancestor left Scotland three hundred years ago, suddenly start wearing a kilt and throwing giant logs around, Warren embraced a culture she never grew up in, never shared, and never had any connection to. Not that being unable to even name your convenient minority ancestor ever stopped a progressive.... after all the Current Truth is what we make of it.

However, we must now join in shunning Comrade Warren for her attempt to genetically appropriate a culture she only knows through John Wayne movies and reruns of The Lone Ranger. Let us all now join in denouncing being so white and privileged as to claim a cultural heritage that she was never a part of- and to have the Left embrace that appropriation!

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Colonel 7.62 wrote:Much like how people who's [highlight=#ffff00]ancestor left Scotland three hundred years ago[/highlight], suddenly start wearing a kilt and throwing giant logs around…

Actually, they moved to Ireland first, and then moved to America. And I'll toss all the logs I want.

Penguin Dancing with Log.png

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I've got a funny feeling the DNA spit test business is just about to get flooded.

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Most Equal Colonal 7.62,

My Scots ancestors were thrown out of voluntarily left Scotland a couple hundred years ago. I'm not real big on kilts nor do I have any desire to toss lumber around. I am a big fan of a good single malt when beet vodka is in short supply. Is that culturally acceptable?

Red Salmon

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Red Salmon wrote:Most Equal Colonal 7.62,

My Scots ancestors were thrown out of voluntarily left Scotland a couple hundred years ago. I'm not real big on kilts nor do I have any desire to toss lumber around. I am a big fan of a good single malt when beet vodka is in short supply. Is that culturally acceptable?

Red Salmon
Does that make you 1/1024 single malt in your body composition?


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Extremely Equal Red Square and Ivan,

Beet Vodka is in quite short supply here so I must resort to the not so equal single malt whiskey. I suspect that I'm composed of a lot more than 1/1024 single malt. I try not to drink the water. As the sage Komrad W.C. Fields said, “Fish fornicate in it.” I should know.

Red Salmon

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Red Salmon wrote:Most Equal Colonal 7.62,

My Scots ancestors were thrown out of voluntarily left Scotland a couple hundred years ago. I'm not real big on kilts nor do I have any desire to toss lumber around. I am a big fan of a good single malt when beet vodka is in short supply. Is that culturally acceptable?

Red Salmon
You cannot appropriate the culture of white people,so it is ok. Although if you can afford Scotch, The Party may want to have a word with you.

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But what of those humans who wear "pussy" hats? Are they not genetically appropriating feline culture and nomenclature? Or does the intersectionality of the feminine trump outrank preempt species? And then again, does not the intersectionality of gender identification preempt the cis-feminine? Oh dear, this is all so confusing.

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BREAKING NEWS!

Elizabeth Warren claims to share 50% DNA with ... bananas! This was proven by posh laboratory tests in famous research facilities!

It is expected the embattled senator will make an announcement soon, claiming to be the legitimate ruler of the Middle-American rainforests, and asking the 2020 election rules to be changed in order to allow for bananas to vote. After all, it would be racist to give only "humans" the right to vote, thereby disenfranchising senator Warren's curved, yellow plant-folk.

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PS: I'm not really sure how long this will remain satire. So laugh while you can! The uncontested absurdities of today ...

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Alas, CNN (the Capitalist News Network) gets it wrong again, which I will prove with Socialist Realist Mathematics!

There is only one (1) Elizabeth Warren, and she claims to be a Native American (NA). Because the NAs were RAPED and slaughtered at the hands of the Europeans, this makes her a SURVIVOR, and we MUST believe all survivors.

The report states that she had a NA ancestor between 6 and 10 generations ago. So to calculate her percentage of NA heritage we take one Elizabeth Warren raised to the sixth power (1 ^ 6 = 1.0) and one Elizabeth Warren raised to the tenth power (1 ^ 10 = 1.0), and find that she is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT NATIVE AMERICAN!!!

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How much DNA does she share with a chimp? The Anthropoid-American vote could be important in 2020....

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Ivan Betinov wrote:How much DNA does she share with a chimp? The Anthropoid-American vote could be important in 2020....

Shame on you. It's insensitive to mix anthropoid & native American metaphors with Liz's jeans - or, genes, or whatever.


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I'm 1/3 Irish. Anytime I mispronounce something in English, or especially in Russian, it's because I'm channeling a Gaelic speaking ancestor.

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
I'm 1/3 Irish. Anytime I mispronounce something in English, or especially in Russian, it's because I'm channeling a Gaelic speaking ancestor.
But do you also mispronounce the Gaelic? This may mean that you are 1/1,024 something hitherto unknown.

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warren-family.jpg

Elizabeth Warren's great grandmother was a Native American chieftain. Here she is pictured with other members of her family.

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Evil Smiley wrote:
warren-family.jpg

Elizabeth Warren's great grandmother was a Native American chieftain. Here she is pictured with other members of her family.
...says every visitor to the casino. That and, "Hey, how come you guys don't wear feathers?"

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Colonel 7.62 wrote:...and the struggle to pay my bills as a freelance writer and consulting historian...
Comrade, you're sitting on a potential gold mine. No liberal has ever studied history, but they're all aware that Trump is the worst Republican president since Hitler. You could make a fortune as a consulting historian off of listing superficial similarities between Trump and Hitler. As soon as you get the history-is-repeating-itself-I'm-so-frightened-for-my-country response, you know you've hit the jackpot. If a professional tourist like Rick Steves can be taken seriously as a historian, you'll have the SJWs at your feet eating out of your hand. Of course you'll feel guilty about the massive amounts of excess wealth at your disposal, and you should, so we'll be here to aid you in the redistribution. Win-win is what I call it.

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RedDiaperette wrote:
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
I'm 1/3 Irish. Anytime I mispronounce something in English, or especially in Russian, it's because I'm channeling a Gaelic speaking ancestor.
But do you also mispronounce the Gaelic? This may mean that you are 1/1,024 something hitherto unknown.
Oh, that would be pre-reform Russian of which the test results indicate I am fully 1/2,048.

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Ivan Betinov wrote:How much DNA does she share with a chimp?

Seriously? About 95%. Just like all good Homo-sapien Comrades.

- SK

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... yet there might be a proof of Liz's Manitou-grade Pocahonticity via Kuban Cossacks !

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:I'm 1/3 Irish ...
Far be it from me to meddle in the how & why of reproductive, um, techniques, that result in progeny being, uh, 1/3 of [put-any-trait-here]. No, no.

Studying recently (after shovelling done, yet still not toppled, half-dead, onto my cot) The Boston Pravda, I learned that somehow the 2n (n>0) integers - as there were 2, 4, 8, 16, ... - and only those are determinant in assessing the quota of inherited characteristics (1/2 of, 1/4 of, ...).

Thusly enlightened, a red question mark - nay, a red fat interrobang was beamed into my mind, tagged with the text "How can any trait be inherited to an extent of 1/3 ?". ... oh, wait, my bad.

Of course. .3 ≈ 2 1.58496250072 .[b/c log2(3) ≈ 1.58496250072].
Got it!
Komissar al-Blogunov, my full regard: you are Gaeilge in (roughly) the 1.585-th generation. Уважение, Рашн Коллудэр.

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Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:I'm 1/3 Irish ...
Far be it from me to meddle in the how & why of reproductive, um, techniques, that result in progeny being, uh, 1/3 of [put-any-trait-here]. No, no.
But surely if we can identify as the ethnos we consider ourselves to be, we can also identify as the proportion thereof, no?

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Being 1/3 Irish may require some explaining, but all will equally see that there are several means by which this is possible.
First, there is PeopleMath in which all numbers are equal. Therefore being 1/3 Irish is the same as being 1/1,024 Native, only more equal.
Secondly, it is 2018. As the esteemed RD has said, if I can identify as a transgendered giraffe, I ought to be able to identify just how much of me identifies with being a transgendered giraffe and how much of me identifies as say, a potato.
Thirdly, and most importantly, I have victim status that makes all claims whatsoever to be beyond reproach. You want to prove that a 1/3 ethnicity is mathematically impossible? I simply shout back, "You STILL don't understand!" for which there is no allowable refutation. End of argument. Case closed.
Now all this is well known to Party Members, and we may or may not have had long conversations about this in the Party Bunker which may or may not exist, so I offer this explanation to newcomers whose way of thinking may not yet have achieved the desired level of enlightenment.

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So, if I don't enjoy corned beef and cabbage, does that make me Irish-phobic (1/1024th), or even racist? Just asking, it's not like they serve beef anything at our collectives kitchen...

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:So, if I don't enjoy corned beef and cabbage, does that make me Irish-phobic (1/1024th), or even racist? Just asking, [highlight=#ffff00]it's not like they serve beef anything at our collectives kitchen[/highlight]...

No beef for Ivan, no, no,.. beef is for rich capitalists. Only roast groin loin of squirrel for the hyper-sensitive Stakhanovets. :-)

Yours truly in the gravy,

CC (eat me)

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Captain Craptek wrote:
Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:So, if I don't enjoy corned beef and cabbage, does that make me Irish-phobic (1/1024th), or even racist? Just asking, [highlight=#ffff00]it's not like they serve beef anything at our collectives kitchen[/highlight]...

No beef for Ivan, no, no,.. beef is for rich capitalists. Only roast groin loin of squirrel for the hyper-sensitive Stakhanovets. :-)

Yours truly in the gravy,

CC (eat me)

The People's State-Approved vore.

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RedDiaperette wrote:
Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:I'm 1/3 Irish ...
Far be it from me to meddle in the how & why of reproductive, um, techniques, that result in progeny being, uh, 1/3 of [put-any-trait-here]. No, no.
But surely if we can identify as the ethnos we consider ourselves to be, we can also identify [highlight=#FFFF00]as the proportion[/highlight] thereof, no?
(NOTE. Here, RedD's [highlight=#ffff00]concept[/highlight] is debated. Other questions are already denounced by al-Blogunov.)


So, RedDiaperette wrote:... we can also identify as the proportion thereof, no?
But of course, feline Komradette! Ja!

BTW, we all remember your sweet nephew who, smitten with progressive fervor, decided - last year, on the eve of the 100th anniversary of Vyelikaya Oktyabrskaya Ryevolyutsiya - to identify, fifty-fifty, as moncat:

        Mystery item No. 1
... as well as your dear babushka, an early precursor of ethnospeciesist proportioplasticity:

        Mystery item No. 2

So - proportion. Nice tool, no doubt.
Look: As freshman at college, you decorate your dorm room with this glorious tableau:

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(and you have it also on your T-shirt, mousepad, mug, whatever).

It takes just a semester or so (plus a five-pointed Red Star pounded into your NPC-grey matter), and you identify as 6 * 1/5 = 6/5 = 12/10 = 120/100 = 120% (bingo!) progresso-resistantifant.

But progress need not to stop here. Komrades, we have exponentiality, don't we? Exponentiality, mightily expanding whatever it touches! Euler! ex! Using exponential functions, we could easily pump up al-Blogunov's relatively measly 1/3 of Irishness to, if you like, 2.718281828 or sumptin.

(Here we got to stop.
Sigh. Polynomial Splines, Fourier Transformativity, all the thinkable advanced ethnospeciestuff...)

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Addendum.
The above - just ivory tower eggheadery? No, no no, nope. Fully applicable Deconstructhematics.

Between us two (but psst, ja?), I already contacted Señ. Pocahontas. Told her, we could do here something about that sordid "1/1024". Moderate price, 3.141.592,65 rubles. Howgh.

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RedDiaperette wrote: But surely if we can identify as the ethnos we consider ourselves to be, we can also identify as the proportion thereof, no?

I was going to identify as an attack-helicopter, but my wife shot me down.

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Red Square wrote:Does that make you 1/1024 single malt in your body composition?

"With the blood from my body, I could start my own still"

Country & Western song, George Jones

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:Snipped for brevity:

Now all this is well known to Party Members, and we may or may not have had long conversations about this in the Party Bunker which may or may not exist, so I offer this explanation to newcomers whose way of thinking may not yet have achieved the desired level of enlightenment.

Excellent answer, Comrade! My ushanka is off to you.

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So many memes, so little time......I must say in the "good old days" it was the penal battalions sent to clear the minefields by running thru them. Now it's the Democrat leadership.



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Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:Snipped for brevity:

Now all this is well known to Party Members, and we may or may not have had long conversations about this in the Party Bunker which may or may not exist, so I offer this explanation to newcomers whose way of thinking may not yet have achieved the desired level of enlightenment.

Excellent answer, Comrade! My ushanka is off to you.
Thank you for the kind words. I'm just a humble komissar doing my duty by reminding the Kollektive that the science has been resettled again.



 
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