We just received this fan letter in our "Feedback from the Cube" mailbox.

Dear Sir,

I was looking at your web-site today, I entered it but wasn't able to leave it. No matter what I did I couldn't leave it and get back to my other work. I couldn't go back, I couldn't go forward, I couldn't even turn off my computer to start over again! I felt like there was a force field surrounding me and my whole apartment building too! I tried to relax a bit to see why I had been jailed here. I read some more, tried to change my attitude, even though I felt I was being pulled into some kind of dark vortex and I might never return! Only at sunset did the force release me, long enough to write this letter, maybe it didn't release me??? but I have to write you and ask you what your power is and what you want, I have no more strength to resist your pull. What do you want??? Your, Latitia

How can we answer that without disclosing our real goal of world domination?

The question remains "How can we share that answer without disclosing our real goal of world domination?" Hmmmm... After some consideration, I may have a potential solution to your conundrum.

One must remember the purpose of this site (clearly stated in the question) and how we have managed to continue the struggle for our purpose.

How have we been successful in the past?

How have we managed to murder post-natally contracept millions upon millions in the past?

[highlight=#ffff00]How did WE get 11 million people to hop onto a train ride to their own certain demise???

[/highlight]How have we managed to raze entire cities, nay.... NATIONS?!

I have for you a simple two-word answer: [highlight=#ffff00]WE LIE![/highlight]

I am suprised that you, my dear Komrade, have forgotten this.

You must do what our Party (inculcated within the Democratic Party) Politicians have done for generations -- Lenin, Stalin, Hitler, Pol Pot, Mao, Mugabe, Clinton, Obama, et al.... [highlight=#ffff00]You must find what Latitia's burning ears wish to hear, and tell her just that.[/highlight] I can make it no more plain. Remember the ultimate destination of this train we are operating??? Just make Latitia as relaxed and comfortable as possible as we roll down the tracks... you may tell her not to worry....tell her we will take care of everything. [highlight=#ffff00]Hell! Whilst you are at it, promise her free food, booze, cell phones, internet....[/highlight] [highlight=#ffff00]Tell her it is "not a tax"... Tell her it is "for the children"....whatever it takes! It matters not whether we have the means within our coffers to do so, by the time she realises we cannot deliver, it will be too late!
[/highlight]
We have her now.... We must not lose her.

Her assimilation into the programming of the Matrix is near complete. Should she ever learn the truth…? I dare not speak it…

Better still.....

BLAME BUSH! It's all BUSH'S Fault!

Don't be hasty-- first find out if she's good looking. I make it a policy (that has served me well so far) never to dance with a woman who has a better moustache than I do. (so sorry Aunt Lyudmilla)

Red Square wrote: How can we answer that without disclosing our real goal of world domination?

Once again, I propose the usual form reply on Cube letterhead:


Dear Comrade Latitia,

I have been asked by The People's Director, Red Square, to thank you for visiting The People's Cube, and for your kind thoughtfulness in taking the time to write.

Although The People's Director does not have time to personally answer each and every piece of correspondence he receives, rest assured he does read them all, because he truly cares what the masses have to say about The People's Cube. You'll be pleased to know he even wears a ribbon on his lapel to raise awareness of how much he cares.

On behalf of The People's Director, please accept my best wishes that you find government in all your life's endeavors.

Very progressively yours,

Pinkie
Secretary to The People's Director
Commissarka of The People's Secretarial Services and Temp Agency

Comrades, they simply don't know the Power of the Cube Side.

That's no moon - that's The People's Cube!!!

WE ARE PROG!

I know the feeling of being pulled in by the powers of the cube. Before being reprogrammed by the People's Cube I thought of myself as a conservative Republican. But, after being introduced to some People's mind altering drugs and some minor electric shock therapy in the re-education center I, too, am now feeling part of the collective. Resistance is not only futile, it is stupid.I recommend you begin simple. Purchase a People's Cube for yourself and enjoy the endless hours of not winning or not losing. I was one of those people who could never get more than 2 sides completed on the Capitalistic Rubiks Cube and found myself feeling frustrated and inferior. However, since mastering the People's Cube my insecurities have long vanished and I have openly embraced the ideology of mediocrity.Keep coming back. Spread the word of collectivism that is the Cube and tell all of all your non conformist Capitalistic pig brother an to join the collective community of the Cube.Sincerely,El Presidente

Don't be puzzled. The mysterious force is the curvy women in those t-shirt ads that appear here. They are holding us all captive. And happily, I might add.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:

Red Square wrote: How can we answer that without disclosing our real goal of world domination?

Once again, I propose the usual form reply on Cube letterhead:


Dear Comrade Latitia,

I have been asked by The People's Director, Red Square, to thank you for visiting The People's Cube, and for your kind thoughtfulness in taking the time to write.

Although The People's Director does not have time to personally answer each and every piece of correspondence he receives, rest assured he does read them all, because he truly cares what the masses have to say about The People's Cube. You'll be pleased to know he even wears a ribbon on his lapel to raise awareness of how much he cares.

On behalf of The People's Director, please accept my best wishes that you find government in all your life's endeavors.

Very progressively yours,

Pinkie
Secretary to The People's Director
Commissarka of The People's Secretarial Services and Temp Agency

An excellent start, my dear Pinkie....

However, it needs a sprinkling of syrupy Peoples' Propaganda (i.e. LIES, LIES, LIES) to TRULY let Latitia know just how special she is. We may also ply her with a few extra rations of vodka... I find this works well with the ladies (no offence meant to you....of course).

If more extreme measures are required, Flunitrazepam usually does the trick.

Raum Emmanual Goldstein wrote:

[highlight=#ffff00]How did WE get 11 million people to hop onto a train ride to their own certain demise???
[/highlight]

Komrade Goldstein please dispatch source of data which shows highest levels of propaganda excellence. Capitalist Propagandists aided by intractable defectors from previously enlightened Socialist miracles have suggested that up to 120 million people were liberated from living personhood in the triumphant march to Progress.

Please recant your statistics, and move slider to the Party approved number of 357 - the number of people who died from joy when Komrade Stalin walked house to house in the Ukraine during the freezing winter of 1932, handing out hot beet soup, blankets and words of patriotic strength and comfort.

Kommissar Spartakus wrote:

Raum Emmanual Goldstein wrote:

[highlight=#ffff00]How did WE get 11 million people to hop onto a train ride to their own certain demise???
[/highlight]

Komrade Goldstein please dispatch source of data which shows highest levels of propaganda excellence. Capitalist Propagandists aided by intractable defectors from previously enlightened Socialist miracles have suggested that up to 120 million people were liberated from living personhood in the triumphant march to Progress.

Please recant your statistics, and move slider to the Party approved number of 357 - the number of people who died from joy when Komrade Stalin walked house to house in the Ukraine during the freezing winter of 1932, handing out hot beet soup, blankets and words of patriotic strength and comfort.

Ah.... Mein Deutchen Fruenden from the National Socialist Party we happy to provide the source materal.... You see they managed to convince over 11 million people to quietly board trains bound for what they euphamistically referred to as "protective custody."

It initially started with the Reichstag fire -- a Fast and Furious operation designed to convince the German People that private gun ownership was a dangerous thing. By way of the fire, the National Socialists were able to push for emergency powers "for the Common Good"

Later, certain peoples were required to report to a central office in their local town for re-location into "protective custody." These people were allowed to pack a suit case of personal belongings for the journey to and their extended stay at a "re-location camp." I believe the childern were encouraged to bring along a favorite toy.

Once the train arrived from the long journey, those who did not fit under the Complete Lives bell curve for the determiniation of who should receive life svaing intervention (In accordance with the Eziekiel Emmanual and Cass Sunstein Affordable Health Care Model) -- this was usually the very old and infirmed and the very young who were not suitable to the German War Effort (Those with "hopeless conditions").


Those separated (very young, the old and the infirmed) were promised a nice, hot shower at the delousing station and willingly marched in. They we directeded to place their clothes on hooks in the dressing area. They were told these would be collected and laundered for them. They were handed bars of soap, stepped into the shower room and then received a proper dose of Zyclon-B -- very very effective "delousing" or "post-natal contraceptive" agent.

So, the simple answer to killing 11 million people is to do what most politicians do best (especially PROGRESSIVE politicians)....LIE!

Thank you Komrade. I understand now that you are referring to the NATIONALIST socialists who Have Nothing To Do™ with the more ideologically pure Marxist-Leninist Socialists, and their beautiful policies of abundant peace and joy for all.

Apparently our NKVD met with the Gestapo before this scenario in an attempt to convince the Nationalist Socialists not to use our highly effective, proven methods of mass-liberation, including Bullet In Back of Neck™, due to partisan tensions over copyright infringement.

The Nationalist Socialists were therefore required to take the advice of George Bernard Shaw on the matter and explore more tranquil methods in non-person divestment.

I must take exception to your last sentence is pure slander. Many progressive politicans do not embrace purity of blatant deception for achieving ends for the common good. Instead they suffer from university-engineered skepticism failure towards socialist ideological compost, qualifying them as First Class Useful Idiots and Heroes of the Revolution.

That power that holds you here Latitia, is the Party's very wise policy of Socialism In One Website. Now you've seen the future there's no escape.

Fhalkyn: You mean subliminal like this ?



Blah.......Blah........Blah..........
Blah.......Blah........Blah..........
Blah.......Blah........Blah..........
WORSHIP OBAMA
Blah.......Blah........Blah..........
Blah.......Blah........Blah..........
Blah.......Blah........Blah..........

Lie is a very harsh term and implies preconceived deception. We speak the truth in a different format from the usual drivel, are we accountable for other people's misinterpretation of what we said?
The fault in this instance is clearly with them and not us.

You will change your name to "Julia." You will have no choice in the matter.

Join us... Dear Leader (PBUH) promises us condoms. Lots and lots of condoms...

Kommissar Spartakus wrote:Thank you Komrade. I understand now that you are referring to the NATIONALIST socialists who Have Nothing To Do™ with the more ideologically pure Marxist-Leninist Socialists, and their beautiful policies of abundant peace and joy for all.

Apparently our NKVD met with the Gestapo before this scenario in an attempt to convince the Nationalist Socialists not to use our highly effective, proven methods of mass-liberation, including Bullet In Back of Neck™, due to partisan tensions over copyright infringement.

The Nationalist Socialists were therefore required to take the advice of George Bernard Shaw on the matter and explore more tranquil methods in non-person divestment.

I must take exception to your last sentence is pure slander. Many progressive politicans do not embrace purity of blatant deception for achieving ends for the common good. Instead they suffer from university-engineered skepticism failure towards socialist ideological compost, qualifying them as First Class Useful Idiots and Heroes of the Revolution.

Regards the first... Whether we are referring to the state ownership of the means of production or government control of the means of production in "private hands" the outcome is the same...the bottom line is that GOVERNMENT bureaucrats are in charge of determining the outcome of the lives of everyday people (for their own benefit, of course).

Whatever we call it -- propaganda, campaign promises, current truth, what have you -- ind the end -- turth be told -- we will say (and do) whatever is required to gain and maintain power over the masses.

You are new here to the Cube. So, I will provide for you some helpful counsel (lest you find yourself outside of the bell curve prematurely with a "hopeless condition" worthy of post-natal contraception. There is a pecking order here. There are SOME of us....ahem...who are "MADE PROGs" whose rank is irrevokable and authority of various subjects beyond question.

Frankly...Versteur ek vind jou gebrek aan geloof in my progressiewe gesag.

I recommend you study up....

https://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-tool ... t3166.html

https://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-tool ... t5198.html

Dankie.

Red Menace wrote:You will change your name to "Julia." You will have no choice in the matter.

julia2.jpg

Yes, well I have always liked the name Julia, anyway...So it will be.... Latitia.... Your name is now Julia, until the administration decides otherwise.... Have another glass of vodka...

Komrade Raum, in regards to this "pecking order" how is it that the new kid is a Kommisar? As I recall, Redumdinski pulled the same stunt, and look where that got him....

By Lenin, rank should come the old fashioned way, (bribery, or assasinate a superior to create a vacancy) like in the old days.

Tovarichi......
Perhaps " Kommisar Spartakus " has taken the fast track within the Party by giving Dear Leader some serious coin for his re-election campaign.
" Just grease my palm, brother..... just grease my palm." It's the Chicago Way.

Damn it! I guess I'll have to return the "gifts" and demote Spartacus to a "comrade." The last thing I need right now is a scandal.

Komrades - let me explain. Kommissar is not my title, it is my first name. The alternative nomenclatures of Hani, Biko, Slovo and Blade were reserved for senior local Party members at the time of my birth. My dear mother gave me this name to ensure equality of self-esteem and to provide glorious direction for my ascent from the state of non-person due to reactionary genetic tendencies. I am a foot soldier in a crimson tide, currently employed in lower ranks in the field of ideological subversion in the Department of Historical Korrectness. I request that any applications for further self-criticism, self-correction or post natal contraception on my part be processed via local Party Offices which have excellent bureaucratic structure in place allowing for 6 year case turnover, with bribe.

I will edit my title for purposes of bureaucratic clarification.

Komrade Kommissar Spartakus wrote:Komrades - let me explain. Kommissar is not my title, it is my first name.

Let me guess--your mother is a Hollywood actress, your father is a rapper, and you have a sister named Beet Squash.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Let me guess--your mother is a Hollywood actress, your father is a rapper, and you have a sister named Beet Squash.

Very good espionage Kommisarka. My father is a Hollywood actress, my mother is a rapper but my sister went unnamed prior to state sponsored termination prior to inconvenient metastisism to infant state.

Krasno,

The Chicago way has become so common that I had forgotten that technique, and I was buying it--right up to the point that Red Square tossed him under the bus and gave back the party favors. Yessir, washed his hands like Pontious Pilate! If Red Square didn't sanction it, I'm suspect.

New guy is not even sharing vodka rations, or even a beet peeling! Just what are those slackers in the induction wing of the Karl Marx treatment center getting away with? These new kids don't know anything. In his behalf, his posts are relatively brief, and meaningful, unlike the last self-appointed Kommisar...

Tovarichi wrote:New guy is not even sharing vodka rations, or even a beet peeling!

Komrade Tovarichi I would gladly share an entire shot of vodka with whole beet-peeling with you if I could. I imagine us sitting warming our hands at a candle, telling komradely stories of bureaucratic exploits, denouncing friends and family and playing rounds of Russian roulette.

Unfortunately as non-person paying 35% taxation my rations do not include such luxuries, and any comestibles or combustibles above and beyond my daily bowl of beet peel stock and half-shot of brackish water is required to be redistributed to local komrades before any largesse were to be extended to the Communist International.

However - the Party is ever-wise. And as a non-person with moral authority score of 0 I receive a double ration of guilt and am permitted to share half of this with any Party member with similar profile.

KKS,

The "candle".... " brackish water ".......... This is good.
Perhaps you have had the experiences existing within our grand socialist society, no?.

If The Party has given you extra guilt, you are OK to me !

By the way....... I , Krasnodar, would like to ask of you, Spartakus, a question............

Would you happen to know anything about fixing State tractor machineries Red Square secured for the collective? It has not been running so good after Directorate went "Green" and started us using lard instead of the motor oils.........


The smoke from engine smells of capitalist french fries.

Since they took the sulfur out of diesel it's all gone where capitalist french fries go.


I do hope he can do something about smoothing out the ride on the People's tractor... installing steel tires was not the best idea we've implemented.

Krasno, do we still have any of the stash of store-bought vodka we were sent to "guard" for the Embassy party? New Comrade here needs a proper welcome, but if we don't have any, that's about as proper as the Party™ provides anymore.


Which reiminds me, when is Betinov scheduled for his next fluid change anyway?
And furthermore, did Pamalinski get put in the Hillary Clinton Witness Protection program? Haven't heard much out of her...

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:

Komrade Kommissar Spartakus wrote:Komrades - let me explain. Kommissar is not my title, it is my first name.

Let me guess--your mother is a Hollywood actress, your father is a rapper, and you have a sister named Beet Squash.

I think you meant, "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries..... now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!"...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=895eSm4 ... =endscreen

.... "fetchez* la vache"...

*they didn't think people would 'get' poussez (push) la vache, that "lancez" (toss or throw) was too close to lance... so they made up a word...

It's one of my favourite Monty Python scenes of all time....

As for the "power"... it's all the Cube... like in the clip, they don't need the English... they already have a 'grail' of their own. This is the Cube™. The Cube™ is all we need. I sleep with mine, and I haven't aged a day in the seven years since Red sent it to me. Breaking my back and shattering my rib cage was all my own fault. If anything, The Cube™ is the only reason I'm still walking... nay... ALIVE! If my mother hadn't slipped it under my pillow in the hospital, I would never have survived. Remember the invasion of Kulak Monsters in my apartment, when they stole my Cube™ and hid it in their nests and it took me an entire day to find it (as well as a pound of butter and a couple pounds of coffee beans!... freaking Kulak hoarders!.... Anyway)... I actually aged an entire day in a day, during the day I didn't have it! And I was really grumpy without my coffee! If it hadn't been for Betty energetically urging me via webcam (with Meow drunkenly mimicking him in the background), to run after it with my biggest knife and stab it in the head, which I did, I'd still be aging (Thank you, Comrade Betty! Meow, you scream like a little girl...).

It's a little known fact, but both Arthur C. Clarke's short story "The Sentinel" and then Stanley Kubrick's "2001: A Space Odyssey" and eventually Clarke's novel, originally had The Cube™ in it... and not the Monolith... but at the time, the American studios and publishers were worried about portraying so much "Red" in space.... so they changed it to a faceless black capitalistic monolith.

Sister Massively Opiated wrote:It's a little known fact, but both Arthur C. Clarke's short story "The Sentinel" and then Stanley Kubrick's "2001: A Space Odyssey" and eventually Clarke's novel, originally had The Cube™ in it... and not the Monolith... but at the time, the American studios and publishers were worried about portraying so much "Red" in space.... so they changed it to a faceless black capitalistic monolith.

These are truisms, Comrade Sister - and an even less known fact concerns "Rosemary's Baby" and The Cube™.

Oh - say, is that a shrubbery?

Sister - you're exactly right - here is the proof -

Komrade Krasnodar this technology appears futuristic (where do you harness the mule?), and we would not have the necessary expertise to repair it. It would be a privilege for our People's scientists to have the opportunity to explore its technological secrets.

We had heard rumours of bright lights seen at night on the grain fields of distant Socialist miracles, but had denounced these as conspiracy theories...

Perhaps we can arrange a trade deal whereby we-release our latest instant response technology (which we reverse engineered from an Unidentified Rolling Object we found crashed in the Kalahari desert) to your scientists in exchange for this futuristic object?

We Are Prog, Hear Us Roar!

Commissarka Pinkie wrote: Dear Comrade Latitia,

I have been asked by The People's Director, Red Square, to thank you for visiting The People's Cube, and for your kind thoughtfulness in taking the time to write.

Although The People's Director does not have time to personally answer each and every piece of correspondence he receives, rest assured he does read them all, because he truly cares what the masses have to say about The People's Cube. You'll be pleased to know he even wears a ribbon on his lapel to raise awareness of how much he cares.

On behalf of The People's Director, please accept my best wishes that you find government in all your life's endeavors.

Very progressively yours,

Pinkie
Secretary to The People's Director
Commissarka of The People's Secretarial Services and Temp Agency

Ahem, Commissarka Pinkie, might I suggest we ad something to do with being Dizzy With Success? Seems Comrade Letitia has dropped her disco ball in a vat of black lit gelatin.