If I Had a Hammer (and a Golf Club)

If I had a hammer
I'd hammer in the morning
I'd hammer in the evening
All over this world
I'd hammer out shariah
I'd hammer for the Brotherhood
I'd hammer out a caliphate for brothers and sisters
All over this world

If I had a sickle
I'd swing it in the morning
I'd swing it in the evening
All over this world
I'd swing it in America
I'd swing it in the Middle East
I'd swing it for a caliphate for brothers and sisters
All over this world

And now that I'm president
I'm golfing in the morning
I'm golfing in the evening
All over this world
But I'm golfing for sharia
I'm golfing Allahu Akbar
I'm golfing for a caliphate for brothers and sisters
All over this world

Well I got a hammer
And I got a sickle
And I got a golf club
All over this world
It's the hammer of Allah
It's the sickle of shariah
And it's all about a caliphate for brothers and sisters
All over this world


(PS - sorry about Egypt, we're working on that)
 

 

El Presidente, what a delightful, authentic display of dear leader and his leadership! I have a tear.

I used to have a golfing club but used it for correction on ex- dear husbandry unit, Comrade Peloskies.... let me just say, it was in no shape to reuse. (I DENOUNCE ALL OTHERS WHO TRY TO CONVICT YOUR FRAU OF ALL THINGS ELSE!!!!)
 

Fraulein,

Fear not. The precedent has been established in 2009, i.e., Womyns are permitted to use golf clubs on unruly mens.

TMZ Reports:

We're told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We're told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat for his SUV -- but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club.
 

Comrades, I'm frankly at a complete loss as to why the rest of the world - even Egypt! - doesn't want to sing along with Comrade President Obama's song. It's SOOO catchy, and with the new and improved lyrics (not that there was anything wrong with Peter, Paul, and Mary's lyrics, at the time anyway) it's as up to date as Benghazi!

Why WOULDN'T Dear Leader support the 7th-Century-Friendly Brotherhood at every turn - after all, they and their close relatives have been visiting the White House regularly for several years now!

Teabagger Michelle Malkin >spit< has been whining about the White House visits, but we know how SHE is.

Fortunately, we do have John Kerry as Secretary of State to keep things going as planned.

Why can't we all just move FORWARD!? What difference, at this point, does it make?
 

Dear fellow travelers, I am getting more disgusted by the minute! Look what I just found:



Surely Comrade President can do something to get this filth off the airwaves! After all, YouTube is owned by our very dear friends at Google!
 

Captain Craptek

Fraulein,

Fear not. The precedent has been established in 2009, i.e., Womyns are permitted to use golf clubs on unruly mens.

TMZ Reports:

We're told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We're told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat for his SUV -- but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club.

ah yes, defending womanly defense is always defendible, is it not. I am thinking Mr. Comrade Peloskies would not agree but.... well, umm, may he rest in more peace now.
 

Comrade ROCK,

You needn't be concerned with inadvertent spelling errors such as those some of us have foolishly posted lately. I have taken it upon myself - out of the goodness of my equal heart and for the benefit of the children - to monitor and correct any such errors you may make in future posts. No thanks is necessary, comrade.


 

Psssst - Comrade Squirrel - I spelled it that way in order to not cause confusions amongst our fellow travelers of the Islamic persuasion. You know how sensitive they can be. This way, they won't realize that I was talking about them!

Squirrels aren't the only clever ones, you know :)
 

A likely story.
 

Not to worry, dear squirrel - I have taken your concern to heart (since, as you know, I'm quite spelling-sensitive in my own right) and modified my above post appropriately.

I'm afraid, though, that - due to a somewhat busy schedule - I'm unlikely to have time to alter the other 196 times I've spelled it that way.
 

Don't waste precious hoe time, comrade. I'm working on blogger software that will not only correct spelling errors, but will simultaneously analyze political correctness content of messages and "correct" the offensive language. I will e-mail the ver 1.0 file to you Next Tuesday. (not tomorrow, but Next Tuesday) That is, if time allows. I find myself proof reading my own messages so often I sometimes forget to send them!
 

The other night I was watching HGTV. They had a very attractive Asian girl on it who proudly claimed she was a "perfectionist" and would settle for nothing less.

Her almost desperately engaging agent showed her a fabulous kitchen, in which she could actually use a wok if she needed to.

Her reply: What? I'm Asian? That's why you suggest a wok?

Her agent just laughed it off. (What else could she say?)

I would have said:

Yeah! Ain't that how all you Chinks cook? Hmmm? All my friends just love Chink cookin"

So, Miss Perfectionist, what is your problem? Hmmm?
 

Did he explain why he hated laundry workers and mathematicians?
 

Tovarichi

Did he explain why he hated laundry workers and mathematicians?
Nah!

That would be absolutely irrelevant to her. The most important thing to her was her proclamation of being a "proud perfectionist." She said, "There is aways a way to get what you want!"

The outcome included her realization that she, after all, had to compromise, and got the property she realized she deserved. A life lesson!

Very formulaic, and actually boring and predictable.

p.s. I'm assuming you're responding to my last post in which the protagonist is actually a "she."