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In The Name of FAIRNESS: An Open Letter for Change

POLL: Isn't the Internet Fairness Act of 2007 a good idea?

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Fellow comrades,

I'm a bit saddened right now. I'm saddened because I went to the Daily Kos and saw how much more post they get as compared to The People's Cube – not to mention the traffic they receive as well.

Let's face it, Progressives dominate opinion on the internet due to there inability to find real, honest and professional jobs with a decent workload. Right now we as fair and open minded Americans need to ask ourselves one question: is this fair for America? The answer: No, it's not. It's not fair that Americans across our great land have to settle for the progressive dominated views found on the Daily Kos and elsewhere on the internet while our views are confined because of our inability to be constantly logged on when we have work and other responsibilities.

In light of this tragic monopolization of the internet, I feel that it is in the best interest of The People, the true OWNERS of the internet, to be entitled to both sides of the coin. Comrades, I am asking you to consider the Internet Fairness Act of 2007.

The Internet Fairness Act of 2007 will ensure that conservative views online will have a venue once again. It will ensure that such hit progressive blogs like the Daily Kos will give us appropriate space on their front page, adequate advertising spots and a forum (at their expense) to air our views and give the American people a chance to hear both sides of the story.

Sure, they won't like our views, they might not get any new readers because of our views - and maybe, just maybe - Markos will lose traffic from his base audience because we are there shouting our talking-points… but who cares when it is all for fairness? Fairness is the keyword here, and fairness is what the American people deserve.

I'm well aware that Daily Kos will continue making the same amount of post and receiving the same amount of traffic even if our headlines, opinions, videos, and comments are splattered all over his shrine of progressive oppression. I know this because the government, our benevolent and all wise government, will be there to ensure that everything is properly regulated and fair to give us all an equal and level playing field on Daily Kos – especially once a Republican majority takes over once more.

And what about people like Michelle Malkin, Ace of Spades, Politburo Diktat, WHYGRR, Redstate(dot)com and Townhall? Well comrades, they too will be able to post headlines, comments, and whatever else they fancy on Daily Kos along with Mr. Markos Moulitsas himself because we are doing this for the American people. We are doing this to ensure healthy, fair, and competitive debate within their progressive market. And by golly, maybe we will even get Rush Limbaugh himself, the grand poobah of radio, to have his own column right on the front page of Daily Kos since he will soon be having Progressive talkers in his timeslot. How would you like that Markos? You and Rush sharing the same website sounds fair to me, I even heard Rush has a pretty impressive research staff too! We must do this Markos for The Children. I can see it now, the King of Talk Radio, the man who runs America, and the Queen of Blog, side-by-side, talking and debating on the issues of our time. Yes, now that is progress (not to mention GREAT ENTERTAINMENT).

Yes, we are doing this out of fairness – not out of forcing people to listen to us. We are doing it because it is what's right for America. We need to be competitive, Markos. We need you to share some of your market with us on your little website. So be a good guy, a progressive guy, and give us a leg up will you? Because we know from the Fairness Doctrine that if you give us a chance to hijack your medium, why, we will blow the traffic stats to high heaven…err…. I mean hell…err… I forgot, you guys don't subscribe to those imaginary places, let me try again. Errhmm, we will blow YOUR traffic stats fueled BY YOUR PROGRESSIVE AUDIENCE straight into the GROUND! Free markets have failed, and now comrades, now is the time to coerce Markos to share his wealth with us!

We do it out of fairness…. We do it for The Children!

-- Meowsevich S. Punchenko

User avatar
Excellent point.

I have my ideas on this Fairness Thingy too, I just have so little time to write these days. On the one hand I decided to take it easy this summer as I was getting too overstretched with all the activities. On the other hand they loaded me with a lot of projects at my "day" job. So I feel almost like any of your garden-variety non-political unionized proletarian toilers these days - work hard all day, kick back in the evening, and go to bed early. The fairness doctrine will have to wait.

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It's not your fault, Red - and don't let anyone convince you otherwise that it is your fault. If anyone (or anything) is to blame, we must place sole blame on Progressive bloggers and the unfair system they have rigged on the People's Internet.

Before the rise of Big Prog Blog, the internet was a fair and equal place, a place where EVERYONES idea's could compete on a level playing ground. But, over time, the internet became more and more technologically advaced, giving rise to new ideas like blogs and journals with flashy design and eye-catching colors. This in turn shutted conservatives like us out of the fold, we just don't have all this time to update layouts, articles and other things like our unemployed or unprofessional progressive counterparts have.

Sure, there are good blogs like TPC and many many others, but those folks too have day jobs, and they certainly don't have Daddy Warbucks $oro$ bankrolling them. So what should we do? Just let Big Prog Blog take away the People's Internet to serve their own selfish goals of selling books (like Kos did) or hosting extravagant conventions (like Kos did)? No, it's time for FAIRNESS... it's time for the Federal government to regulate places like Daily Kos and MyDD and give us the equal time we need to talk about our ideas and vision for a better America... we also need money, money from Kos and his readers.

I like to call this "exchange" of " their money" as "Equal Sharing of Blog Time", they have to pay us for spouting our unpopular views... just like radio stations will have to do after placing Progressive talkers on primetime (those talkers, although pulling in low rating, will want a paycheck. So why not us?). It's a FAIR deal and will share ideas equally to all.

It's time we look out for the little bloggers like you and me, Red. Not to mention the countless others out there and here who try to make the time to present differing viewpoints.

Say it with me, folks: I deserve money, I deserve time on Daily Kos, I deserve to have a soapbox on Big Prog Blogs, I deserve... FAIRNESS.

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Amen to that! We must demand equal redistribution of traffic on all websites! Also on all roads, highways, and dead-end streets. Equal traffic and a fair representation of all types and models of vehicles!

I think we can demand that the government sets up special server software that will redirect internet traffic according to certain quotas. You wanted to read the NY Times online? Tough luck. Based on your age, race, gender, education, and sexual preference information contained in the government database, you have been redirected to The People's Cube and must read at least five TPC stories including all subsequent comments before you are allowed to open another browser window.

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Comrade Red Square wrote:You wanted to read the NY Times online? Tough luck. Based on your age, race, gender, education, and sexual preference information contained in the government database, you have been redirected to The People's Cube and must read at least five TPC stories including all subsequent comments before you are allowed to open another browser window.

Yes! We need a quota system that will FAIRLY redistribute an equal amount of traffic to all blogs. And I couldn't agree with you more, we MUST have regulations coercing...err... kindly asking (much better) web surfers to read BARE MINIMUM at least five TPC stories and ALL subsequent comments (they must also visit the dry good store as well).

It's Progress... Oh, and THE DEBATE IS OVER!

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we MUST have regulations coercing...err... kindly asking (much better) web surfers to read BARE MINIMUM at least five TPC stories and ALL subsequent comments

They do that at West Point, or was it Annapolis...? I dunno, but they have all new students read 3 news articles a day as well as memorizing that day's lunch menu. If we can get them all to read 3 TPC artikles a day instead of ones from the filthy kkkapitalist birdcage liners we could finally begin a major infiltration of the military and convince all soldiers to be armed with sensitivity pillows instead of guns.

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I think Death and Taxes are fair enough.
Except for Welfare, because that's more fair than any fair that's out there.
Welfare is more fair because I get to go work until I croak, pay taxes and see my tax dollars at work two doors down from me at the CrackShack, where nobody works, let alone bathes, and sits on the porch scratching until Dr. Feelgood shows up with their next rock. Then I get to see more of my tax dollars at work when I call the police and give a make, plate, and description.
See, with Welfare, everybody has a purpose in life!

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Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote: It's Progress... Oh, and THE DEBATE IS OVER!


Oh yeah? What about "weak liberals" like Mulva?

--

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I went to the Daily Kos and created an account, so I can be a rabble rouser as Lenin instructs us to do. This is what I get on the webpage confirming the successful creation of my account:

User Created!

You should soon receive an email at [email protected]. This email will contain further instructions.

Remember you
cannot
<strike>post comments for 24 hours and diaries for one week.</strike>

Thanks for creating an account at Daily Kos!

LOL!!! Yeah... that is sooooooo fair. And open minded!!!

When I clicked the link in the confirmation e-mail it sent to actually confirm the account, their web page reports back with "Permission Denied".

So typical.

--
Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev

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Looking through the all the blog post by you chairman, you have been on fire for the past few days. What has happened? Michael Moore visit again?

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Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote: Say it with me, folks: I deserve money, I deserve time on Daily Kos, I deserve to have a soapbox on Big Prog Blogs, I deserve... FAIRNESS.

Comrades, excuse my long absence. I have been mining lead in the Gulag for the last few months. Just what I deserved having committed a thought crime. Impure thoughts about Hillary and drinking the People's Vodka; what could I expect? Fortunately Comrade Kamp Kommander Golovko recognized my class-awareness and assigned me to peeling potatoes in the People's kitchen. If not for his Socialist kindness, I would be dead.

But now, what do I see when I rejoin the Cube? I see the Chairman use an improper word! "Deserve" is not an acceptable word in current Socialist thought. It is "entitled to." Let me re-write the Chairman's words:

Say it with me, folks: I am entitled to money, I am entitled to time on Daily Kos, I am entitled to have a soapbox on Big Prog Blogs, I am entitled to... FAIRNESS.

Kommissar Vodkov

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Kommissar Vodkov, who currently won his freedom from the Gulag only to return back now after insulting my superior Progressive mind, wrote:But now, what do I see when I rejoin the Cube? I see the Chairman use an improper word! "Deserve" is not an acceptable word in current Socialist thought. It is "entitled to." Let me re-write the Chairman's words:

Say it with me, folks: I am entitled to money, I am entitled to time on Daily Kos, I am entitled to have a soapbox on Big Prog Blogs, I am entitled to... FAIRNESS.


Kommissar Vodkov... I understand your "correction" and have made proper note of it. I also understand that I'm ENTITLED to SILENCE YOU the next time you CORRECT MY EXCELLENCE IN REVOLUTIONARY COMMENTARY!

Don't get me wrong here, "entitle" is a much stronger word and will make the ignorant masses bleed their own hearts to appease whatever it is we are "entitled" to. However, it is much more fashionable at this moment in time to use a softer, gentler word like "deserve". Why you ask? Simple: because Hillary (Her Most Supreme Excellency) is doing it. We must show America that we aren't hard communist and instead opt for the "moderate" line in Party ideology, thus, in time; the AmeriKKKan hordes will accept our deceptive policies and elect us to absolute power!! YES, UNLIMITED POWER! AHAHAHAH! POWEEEERRRRRRR!!!!!

Kommissar Vodkov, do you want to turn the AmeriKKKan voter off thus preventing Her Excellencies ascension to absolute power? Well, do you? Or do you want to follow *Her* lead as well as mine and use deceptive language to water down our hard Communist rhetoric in time for the election? If I were you I would chose the latter. It would be a shame if you somehow were sent to the Gulag again, this time peeling turds instead of potatoes, of course. Why, I do believe the trains are running on time tonight and are looking for a few extra occupants? Yes, and it would be a shame, a damn rotten shame, if you were one of them.

P.S - Today is my birthday. I want large wads of cash and Frank Sinatra to sing happy birthday to me. Huh? Oh, I don't care if he is dead! GET HIM, DAMMIT! Prop his corpse up if ya have to! <stomps foot> I WANT FRANK TO SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

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Kommissar Vodkov, I have thought over my current damnation of you since it is *my* birthday and all. It is customary for the Party Chairman to pardon a thought-criminal on his/her/it's birthday and I, in all my tolerance and compassion, have decided to pardon you for your ill-fated mistake in correcting *me*. Go ahead, kiss my ring which bares the image of Her Excellency and all shall be forgiven. Go on now, kiss my ring, I hear the choo-choo coming so shake a leg and kiss it already! HURRY! I HEAR THE CONDUCTER CALLING FOR THE SOULS OF THE DAMNED!

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Exalted Chairman,

*grovel*

I apologize for correcting you Chairman. It was the Vodka talking. I would never correct anyone of your caliber. It is like correcting the People, and that is unthinkable!

After reading your first post I went to the pantry (which is empty of course except for a bag of potatoes and a few onions - I am not a capitalist!) and picked up my potato-peeling kit which my friend and benefactor Kommander Golovko gave me when he released me from the Gulag after my glorious re-education. I was all but ready to go to the train station and report to the local NKVD when I saw your second post. I have been given a second chance again! My gratitude to the Politburo knows no bounds, and to you, Chairman. I grovel before you and kiss your ring. *kiss* *kiss* Ohhh Father Stalin! A picture of Her Lordship, Comrade Hillary on the ring! I am battling impure thoughts. Must have more Vodka to dull my senses. I will crawl under my bed now and think about Margaret Thatcher to purge impure thoughts about our Leader from my mind!

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And Happy Birthday Chairman! May the People enjoy your wisdom for a long time yet!

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Happy Birthday Mr. Chairman, sir! May you live forever and your iron fist never tire!

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Stalin HELP US! Bu$h has decided to PARDON SCOOTER just as I have PARDONED KOMMISSAR VODKOV... ALL IN THE SAME DAY! <shudders> Capitalist work is at play, comrades... the CIA must be monitoring us and following our lead once again!


I am a latecomer here as you know.... Praise Lenin the Pup can come here now. But this issue really had the Pup howling....

OUT OF CHARACTER. I have a problem with Bush commuting Libby.... He should have pardoned him, done it immediately, and in a very public way. That was the real travesty. Here is a man convicted for allegedly lying about a crime that never happened, when the prosecution knew the real source of the outing that didn't happen. A jury that was not even allowed to hear who the source of the non crime was. Yes, this is a true trial of the sort our progressives should be proud of. The Pup could positively chew nails about this country these days.... Not that I give a flip about that idiot Paris Hilton, but think on this... she spent far more time in jail than Sandy Burgler did for intentionally allowing official documents to fall into his pants and socks, take them from the Library of Congress, lying about it, "possibly altering some", and then intentionally trying to "accidentally" have them fall into a construction trash barrel. But not to worry, as it happens, he will be free to come back to work in Hillary's White House.


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Capitalist work is at play, comrades... the CIA must be monitoring us and following our lead once again!

Then we must provide false leads using reverse psychology (which should be a major in college) for them to pick up on and do our bidding.

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Hmm, we have already done that. You forget we had Valerie Plame working for us, Comrade Premier. Not to mention all of those agents the KGB picked up over the years. And speaking of Valerie; I want everyone to say PARDON and not commute. Bush did not commute Scooter's sentence, no, he "pardoned" him. Yes, that will pull on the AmeriKKKan people better than "commute" would. We must show the world how awful this Administration is and how corrupt they are (all the while screwing up the reason why his sentence was commuted and covering up whatever Bill did when he was in office - not to mention other Democrats as well).

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My mistake Mr. Chairman, sir. And may I agree on the use of Pardon instead of Commute? I believe that using any term that is used by the kkkapitalists to refer to working must be silenced by the party. A commute to this dreadful "work" that everyone talks about can never be advertised by the party... come to think of it, advertise shouldn't be used either. Let's just make up fake words and twist the meaning of others like we always do.

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What about my account on the Daily Kos? It's not fair, I say! NOT FAIR!!!



 
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