Attention comrades across the fruited collective! The Socialist Utopia of Next Tuesday is so close, soooooooo close, but there is work to be done to ensure the inevitable victory of the Party in November. Praise Lenin, the Republicans have already surrendered, remain comfortable with their minority status, and are as determined as ever to lose again.

Nevertheless, we must not become complacent, comrades. We must continue to bombard the masses with inspiring messages about The Obama just in case some unrehabilitated Repugnantcan conservative dares to show leadership and disregards the opinion of that revered Party organ, the New York Times.

I rejoice to share with you this latest contribution from my comrade sister-in-law which captures how Obama will bring the economy every true Party member yearns for: guaranteed austerity for the less equal while the rest of us discuss our tax-free retirement plans at the senate health club.

Gas prices getting higher and higher, food costs continuing to rise causing world hunger which we can blame on Bush for decades to come, businesses shutting down, more child breeder units being forced to surrender their offspring to our publik skools, and more people becoming dependent on the Glorious State for their existence. Does it not make you tingle all over, comrades? Without further ado, I now present my contribution, now you make yours...

The ever ideologically pure Kommissar Blogunov wrote:Praise Lenin, the Republicans have already surrendered, remain comfortable with their minority status, and are as determined as ever to lose again.

I wish I could share your rosey optimism, Kommissar Blogunov. However, I am afraid that one of the largest Republican crime outfits has issued a warning to Congressional Republicans who have over the years become "comfortable" as lapdogs of the Party.

This so-called "Lincoln Club" of Orange County -- yes, I said Orange County! *GASP*! -- is making threats to our lapdogs who are willing to go along with Madame Speaker Pelosi's New Direction for America.

Lincoln Club of Orange County wrote:We Refuse To Support a Permanent Minority
Posted by: Scott W. Graves | 07/07/2008 5:25 AM

Written by: Richard Wagner and Chip Hanlon

The grumbling. The head shaking. The anger.

Congressional Republican leaders clearly have no idea what we, their fellow GOP members (and financial backers), say to one another when we get together, yet for years one refrain has been constant: our extreme discontent over how the former GOP majority blew it on spending.

Budget earmarks, which jumped by 285% between 1994 and 2005 as their cost soared by 60%, stand as the perfect symbol of the GOP-led profligacy that drives us crazy still. In and of themselves, earmarks are admittedly a small part in the budget process, amounting to roughly 2% of the federal budget in 2005. Yet they epitomize the fiscal recklessness that led to Republicans becoming a minority in 2006.

Unable to rein it in on the smaller earmark items, it's no wonder the Republican leadership continued to fail on the more critical structural spending issues such as entitlement reform and a reduction in federal spending (hello Prescription Medicare).

Still oblivious to the source of our discontent, a number of free-spending Republicans recently rushed to meet House GOP leader John Boehner, urging him not to back an earmark reform proposal from the Republican Study Committee. The idea they fought so mightily against? A ban on earmark requests from Republican members of Congress for one year.

You can read the full outage here: http://www.redcounty.com/magazine/2008/ ... ermane.php

Only BHO can save us now, Comrades. I fear another reactionary revolution is brewing -- and yes, I have just soiled my trousers.

Yes Chairman, we can not afford to get lazy and just assume these rethuglican extremists will not have any effect on their party. Between their rabble rousing and the reactionary broadcasts of criminals such as Rush Limbaugh, Hannity, etc. could still induce their brainless followers to fight against the ascendancy of the Obamessiah. (Have we no one in Congress to shut those illegal broadcasts down?) Dear Lenin, if such talk is allowed to continue in Orange County, where else will it raise it's ugly head? Why even our presumed allies at the New York Times report this outrageous slander!

It is not enough for us to sit around pointing out these problems. No, we must get out and do something! Change is what we need Chairman! Change! And to get out and act requires us to be Fortified for the Fight! So with that being said, let us go and feed our selves with true progressive zeal, and drink all the vodka we will need for this fight! Oh, and we will need some more funds. Do you hear us Comrades? We need more funds, vodka, and food so we are Fortified for the Fight, the Fight for Change! I still see phones that are not ringing with those pledges comrades! I want to hear all the phones ringing, There is one now, but more needs to be done Comrades!

Can you believe this??? Some rethuglican managed to slip this into my mail! Simply shocking comrades!

I was traveling between West Palm Beach and Boca Raton the other
day (south of Jupiter) when a tire blew out.
Checking my spare, I found that it too was flat.

My only option was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the next town.

The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a van. He yelled out the window, "Need a lift?

"Yes, I sure do," I replied.

"You a Republican or Democrat," asked the old man.

"Republican," I replied.

"Well, you can just go to Hell," yelled the old man as he sped off.

Another guy stopped, rolled down the window, and asked me the same question.

Again, I gave the same answer, "Republican."

The driver gave me the finger and drove off.

I thought it over and decided that maybe I should change my strategy, since this area seemed to be overly political and there appeared to be few Republicans.

The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful blonde.

She smiled seductively and asked if I was a Republican or Democrat?

"Democrat!", I shouted.

"Hop in!", replied the blonde.

Driving down the road, I couldn't help but stare at the gorgeous woman in the seat next to me, the wind blowing through her hair, perfect breasts, and a short skirt that continued to ride higher and higher up her thighs.

Finally, I yelled, "Please stop the car."

She immediately slammed on the brakes and as soon as the car stopped, I jumped out.

"What's the matter?", she asked.

"I can't take it anymore," I replied. "I've only been a Democrat for five minutes and already I want to screw somebody."

Rethuglikkkan Pig wrote: "I've only been a Democrat for five minutes and already I want to screw somebody."

But would that still be the case if the said thought criminal was riding with the old man?

Obama's First Day as President!

7:00 am - Benediction given by Rev. Jeremiah Wright from the living room of his new mansion. Service concludes with the singing of "God Damn America".
8:00 am - New First Lady Michelle Obama presents the first in a series of "Thoughts for the Day." Today's topic: "Why the hell do I have to live in a WHITE House?"
9:00 am - moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 hijackers
10:00 am - Obama initiates action to make Iran our 58th State.
11:00 am - Obama calls the governments of North Korea, Cuba, Iran, Syria and Venezuela and offers them American anti-missile technology to protect them against terrorist nations (like the United States.)
12:00 pm - Obama names William Ayers to head the Ministry of Truth, er, Education Department. Ayers plans to revamp the nation's public school curriculum, replacing outmoded bourgeois stuff like math and history with 21st century learning like "Bleed America First" and "Groucho was NOT the Most Important Marx".
1:00 pm - Names Louis Farrakhan ambassador to Israel
2:00 pm - Obama announces immediate end to Iraq war; peace in Iraq will be maintained by neutral UN delegation manned by Al-Qaeda and Hezbollah irregulars. US troops can come home as soon as they purchase their airline tickets. When notified this may place US troops in jeopardy, Obama blames the whole plan on his grandmother (again.)
3:00 pm - NY Times editorial board names Obama the greatest president in history. Chris Matthews feels more stuff down his leg. Adult diapers are proffered.
4:00 pm - Obama names Tony Rezko Secretary of the Treasury. Offshore banks notified to expect large funds transfers in the next few weeks.
5:00 pm - Obama eliminates the Dept of Defense, announces position of Secretary of Defense will not be filled. He declares, "If we play nice, everyone else will play nice."
6:00 pm - Obama announces economic plan including tax reform proposal: everyone sends the government all their money and the government will send back whatever they don't need. Typical refund amounts expected to be about a dollar's worth of change; Obama explains that's what he meant by "change we can believe in."
7:00 pm - NY Times editorial board names Obama the greatest president there is, ever was or ever will be, including planets in other solar systems. Several board members drown in their own drool.
8:00 pm - Obama announces select commission to investigate US War Crimes and pay reparations; crimes will include overt or covert physical, metaphorical, metaphysical and/or imaginary occurances . Commission members will include Oliver Stone, Hugo Chavez, Jane Fonda and Gore Vidal. Tin pot dictators all over the world begin salivating.
9:00 pm - Jimmy Carter named Secretary of Energy. Gas lines immediately begin forming.
10:00 pm - Obama announces plan to move the nation's capitol to Chicago: "It's just that it's so much easier to serve my cronies, er - the poor if we're there."
11:00 pm - The heads of the remaining members of the NY Times editorial board explode before they can finish making their latest announcement. No traces remain except for a substance resembling Silly Putty.
12:00 am - Obama comes up with a new slogan for his administration: "The Triumph of Hope Over Experience." Have a great tomorrow.

Obama's First Day as President!

7:00 am - Benediction given by Rev. Jeremiah Wright from the living room of his new mansion. Service concludes with the singing of "God Damn America".
8:00 am - New First Lady Michelle Obama presents the first in a series of "Thoughts for the Day." Today's topic: "Why the hell do I have to live in a WHITE House?"
9:00 am - moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 hijackers
10:00 am - Obama initiates action to make Iran our 58th State.
11:00 am - Obama calls the governments of North Korea, Cuba, Iran, Syria and Venezuela and offers them American anti-missile technology to protect them against terrorist nations (like the United States.)
12:00 pm - Obama names William Ayers to head the Ministry of Truth, er, Education Department. Ayers plans to revamp the nation's public school curriculum, replacing outmoded bourgeois stuff like math and history with 21st century learning like "Bleed America First" and "Groucho was NOT the Most Important Marx".
1:00 pm - Names Louis Farrakhan ambassador to Israel
2:00 pm - Obama announces immediate end to Iraq war; peace in Iraq will be maintained by neutral UN delegation manned by Al-Qaeda and Hezbollah irregulars. US troops can come home as soon as they purchase their airline tickets. When notified this may place US troops in jeopardy, Obama blames the whole plan on his grandmother (again.)
3:00 pm - NY Times editorial board names Obama the greatest president in history. Chris Matthews feels more stuff down his leg. Adult diapers are proffered.
4:00 pm - Obama names Tony Rezko Secretary of the Treasury. Offshore banks notified to expect large funds transfers in the next few weeks.
5:00 pm - Obama eliminates the Dept of Defense, announces position of Secretary of Defense will not be filled. He declares, "If we play nice, everyone else will play nice."
6:00 pm - Obama announces economic plan including tax reform proposal: everyone sends the government all their money and the government will send back whatever they don't need. Typical refund amounts expected to be about a dollar's worth of change; Obama explains that's what he meant by "change we can believe in."
7:00 pm - NY Times editorial board names Obama the greatest president there is, ever was or ever will be, including planets in other solar systems. Several board members drown in their own drool.
8:00 pm - Obama announces select commission to investigate US War Crimes and pay reparations; crimes will include overt or covert physical, metaphorical, metaphysical and/or imaginary occurances . Commission members will include Oliver Stone, Hugo Chavez, Jane Fonda and Gore Vidal. Tin pot dictators all over the world begin salivating.
9:00 pm - Jimmy Carter named Secretary of Energy. Gas lines immediately begin forming.
10:00 pm - Obama announces plan to move the nation's capitol to Chicago: "It's just that it's so much easier to serve my cronies, er - the poor if we're there."
11:00 pm - The heads of the remaining members of the NY Times editorial board explode before they can finish making their latest announcement. No traces remain except for a substance resembling Silly Putty.
12:00 am - Obama comes up with a new slogan for his administration: "The Triumph of Hope Over Experience." Have a great tomorrow.