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Interview: Head Writer of New York Mimes

The New York Mimes
All the News that's Skewed for Print

Who hasn't heard of the newspaper The New York Mimes? Well, maybe you haven't actually heard them, at least from the writers themselves...they can't talk!

Famous syndicated head-writer and mime, preferring to keep his real identity undisclosed, goes by the pseudonym, "Penn Name." He was able to sit down for an interesting interview with The People's Cube this afternoon.

Interview:

Politilemologist: "Penn Name, we've had the privilege to see posts from other mimes in the past like Mikael, but it's so great to have you actually with us today. Let me just say your article "Bush Sat on Baby Seal Heads" was very interesting--entertaining to say the least.

But lets just jump into the questions,

Most conservative mimes (even moderates) feel that the staff at The New York Mimes are breaking the laws of "The Constitution of Mimes," communicating to the world by methods other than physical actions. Liberals say typing or writing fits within the realm of "miming," and that by not verbally speaking, no laws are broken. Nevertheless, most mimes declare it disrespects the principles they value--the freedom of verbal silence.

How do you feel about the claims by those critical of your paper?"



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Penn Name: "........................"
Politilemologist: "OK...I was never that good with charades but lets see...it looks like you're upset at those accusations...right?"



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Penn Name: "........................"


Politilemologist: "...I'll just move on.

In addition to these accusations from mimes, people across the country criticize your writing. Those that do agree with your liberal views, love your article and consider it true journalism; however, others call it baseless, tactless, and even go as far as calling it comical."



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Penn Name: "................."


Politilemologist:
"Oh....you have something to say again? No, wait...you're...laughing? At those that call you comical?

Or wait, you are saying your writing is comical?"



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Penn Name: "........................"


Politilemologist:
"......OK, I will just wrap it up here with this last question. You and your writers have supported many movements like "No Oil for Mime Paint" and "Impeach Bush -- We Still Have the Rest of 2008"

Do you have any future plans or movements you intend to support if McCain wins the election?"

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Penn Name: ".................."


Politilemologist:
"........I'm not following you, sorry. But anyway, thank you for your time Penn Name, and we certainly hope to hear from see you in the future."

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Comrades,

I suffer from a fear of mimes, but revolutionary ardor allowed me to overcome my bourgeois failings and read through this article. It was as rewarding as any issue of Pravda, but my fear of mimes persists. While Wikipedia is about as reliable as the New York Times, the current Wikipedia entry on Marcel%20Marceau [French Resistance and liaison officer in/under Patton's army] reassures me that not all mimes need be feared (or ridiculed).

Incidentally, I suffer from a possibly related fear of clowns. The few times my parents were able to drag me to circuses, invariably I would be singled out by a clown to join in the hell of the "fun." >shudder!<


Pondering deeply and probing memories past, I recall my father often railed against the "head Bozos" of the "simple servants" in the government branch that created headaches for his capitalist exploiter and thus for him.


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Did you eliminate the mime after the interview?

I would have....

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First of all:

All Mimes are creepy.
Especially if they live across the street
From a school playground.

And has a sub prime mortgage.
Plus has the ability to crap malignant tumors.
Making The Mime™ a freak.
Just like his hero
John Wayne
Gacy.

Premier Betty wrote:Did you eliminate the mime after the interview?

I would have....


As much as I'd like to, if I did, I wouldn't be able to interview other mimes with pen names that look surprisingly like celebrities.

Like this writer of the New York Mimes that goes by the Psuedonym, G. Mooney.

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Still... I would have.

Make the world a better place, kill a mime!


 
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