Iran Plans Fireworks Display as Gift to USA

Dateline Washington D.C. (Darkness and Confusion) - The White House announced today that Iran is nearly finished with preparations for a massive fireworks display which they plan to donate to the United States as a gift, much as France gave us the Statue of Liberty.

"It's gonna be the SHOW TO END ALL SHOWS," stated the Iranian special envoy to the US on Thursday.



Here we see Iranian fireworks experts hard at work finalizing the centrifuge-based display, which is expected to be ready even before next July 4.



And here, the Iranian Navy successfully tests one of the new fireworks rockets, although for the actual display itself the fireworks will probably be launched from a freighter of some kind.

Presidential Spokesmouth Jay "Carney" Carney barked that "Obviously, we won't be inviting Netanyahu - that guy has been a pain in the butt since Dear Leader first took office."
 

Myself, I'm wondering if they'll assemble Congress for the event!
 

Delightful! Although it is a bit late for the 11th of September celebration.
 

Not to worry, Comrade, there are still plenty of opportune days to celebrate.

And perhaps the Iranian fireworks display will be so awesome it will become its OWN day of celebration!! Celebrated yearly, until the Mahdi comes!
 

It is possible that in their outreach of peace, that the Iranians will plan such displays of Allah's light and glory to the faithful (even the filthy non-believing infidels) in major populations centers, refinery cities, sea ports, pork processing plants, communications and logisitical nodes all across Amerikka, and in Salt Lake City!

Of course--after the first showing, the crowds will be almost uncontrollable so subsequent displays will have to take place on short notice.

Rest assured, when this is over, as a show of cultural diversity and inclusion we will be able to drive our wives and daughters (who will not be allowed need to drive) to Mc Donalds for a schwarma and a cup of guhawa after prayers on Friday at noon!
 

Tovarich Tovarichi, while it is true that McDonalds will be open after Friday prayers, the lack of functioning vehicles and other transportation systems will provide an opportunity for community walks such as haven't been seen in the west since the, well, since forever, basically.

Hopefully there will be sufficient firewood in most locations for the heating of food and drinks.
 

R.O.C.K. in the USSA

Tovarich Tovarichi, while it is true that McDonalds will be open after Friday prayers, the lack of functioning vehicles and other transportation systems will provide an opportunity for community walks such as haven't been seen in the west since the, well, since forever, basically.

Hopefully there will be sufficient firewood in most locations for the heating of food and drinks.

Comrade ROCK,

It has been brought to my attention by my secret sources at undisclosed locations that MOO-chelle — deep in her Friday prayers — is literally... well, how should I say... "orgasmic" over the fact that there won't be any functioning transportation, thus taking away the freedom of mobility and forcing proles to have to walk. This is a good thing because that means no competition for her in the "Fat Ass" Department of Human Waste Management and Services (she despised competition as there can only be ONE "Fat Ass" per Politburo).

Another aside is the firewood has been replaced with dried camel dung. I hear it not only burns well, but offers a fragrant aroma that is as they say, an "acquired taste".

According to Tiny Dancer's™ Iranian counterpart, known as Mamoooood Wack-madinah-Job, the best source for heat is the glowing embers of has-been infidels after they've seen the mushroom-shaped cloud of the exploding Allah Light.