Comrades,

It is with heavy heart to inform you that we at the People's Galley ™ have been noticing a depletion that is above normal of our napkin supplies placed on our tables over the past few months. We set up surveillance cameras to try an ascertain the reasons why this was happening. Unfortunately it seems our cameras have caught a suspect who happens to bear a remarkable resemblance to our own Captain Craptek.



This all my be just an innocent misunderstanding of course, and I'm sure the good Captain may well have a legitimate alibi, but we at the galley nonetheless wish to hear if others have had noticed any other suspicious activities by Captain Craptek: such as offering you some napkins at a discount price or trying to offer you a partnership in a nefarious capitalist paper products business venture.

Very Respectfully,

Commodore (clean hands) Snoggie Woogums

Comrades.

The good Captain is out of control. It might be time for a People's intervention. Even Dear Leader appears fed up with the Captain's antics.


I am afraid another video of Captain's out of control antics has surfaced. As Impress Hillary once said, it takes a village to raise a squirrel.

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Comrade Craptek - such energy!

Would you be interested in joining a highly skilled and motivated team of animal professions?

We offer a career choice that is second to none - an opportunity to work with other animal professionals in a highly energized and ever changing environment.

This position offers excellent benefits, including, of course, enrollment in Obamacare, three days of beet-paid vacation per decade, and the pride of being part of a team that is second to none in the discipline of high speed R.O.C.K. Sled velocitous propellation.

Don't wait - this is the opportunity of a lifetime.

Send a resume, with cover sheet, including your past six months' employment record and proof of progressive intentions.

FORWARD!

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El Presidente wrote:
Comrades.

The good Captain is out of control. It might be time for a People's intervention. Even Dear Leader appears fed up with the Captain's antics.


I am afraid another video of Captain's out of control antics has surfaced. As Impress Hillary once said, it takes a village to raise a squirrel.

Comrade El Presidente,

It's only fair to show the passerby's quick smartphone shot of me on the way down. Always prepared is the Captain!

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:Comrade Craptek - such energy!

Would you be interested in joining a highly skilled and motivated team of animal professions?


Don't wait - this is the opportunity of a lifetime.

Send a resume, with cover sheet, including your past six months' employment record and proof of progressive intentions.

FORWARD!

Dear Sir,

I would like to apply for the position of lead sled squirrel, but have been out of work for 17 years next Tuesday and only have time to daydream of the past - if you know what I mean.

Leisurely yours,

Captain Craptek