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ISIL to be Defeated by Twitter and Instagram Bombardment

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Dear Comrades,

Comrade Vice President Joseph Biden has announced that the USSA will chase The Islamic Caliphate (PBUI) ‘to the gates of hell' with a barrage of fearsome Twitter messages and fatally ironic Instagram photos.

Already successfully used by the USSA State Department's Information Directorate against Vladimir Putin and the Boko Haram in Nigeria, this devastating strategy means that the Islamic State can soon expect to receive thousand of potentially embarrassing texts and pictures from high-capacity online accounts being prepared at the White Fortress.

Throughout the USSA, countless college students have already volunteered to repost and retweet State messages, adding even heavier firepower to the State's already considerable resources. So many messages are expected to be directed at Caliphate accounts that officials expect a total retreat within weeks, if not the closing of thousands of accounts by disloyal terrorist operatives.

Debilitated by shame and unable to handle ironic humor, Comrade President B. B. Obama has told Party officials he expects total destruction of the enemy back to manageable proportions before his mid-Autumn golf season begins in early October.

We will embarrass the Caliphate back to the Stone Age! Social Pressure is the preferred People's Weapon!!


Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People's Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator

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I see. Obama's strategy isn't: we win, they lose - it's: we manage, they don't manage.

That's like voting Present.

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Mr $.$. Halliburton, I know it's difficult for a professed Kapitalist to understand the sheer brilliance of Dear Leader's lack of strategy in managing to mismanage all aspects of management, of that which must be managed, but what you're failing to manage to understand is that managing to be fair requires that nobody manages to manage a higher level of management than any other manager. Everyone manages to be equal. Nobody manages to lose and everybody manages to win. How could it be otherwise?

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I'm confused, especially after what Obama said the other day about social media. I thought if I just stay off Facebook and Twitter and watch old reruns on TBS all day instead of the news, then I wouldn't have to worry anymore about ISIS and the world falling apart, etc.

But it still doesn't stop me from worrying about why I haven't yet received my free Obama money from his stash.

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Commisarka,
Did you not apply for your EBT card? You no longer have to carry germ-infested cash, when a plastic card will fit in your pocket without a bulge in your overalls...The State keeps a positive balance at all times just for you!
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N-Climber:

I'm joining the cause full farce force after I go to my Occupy reunion..... I'll Tweet these just to name a few.

#EveryoneLikesSomeHeadButDon'tGoTooFar!!

#PleaseJustBeheadJewsOnly

#WeUnderstandThatThisIsGeorgeBush'sFault

#ClitorectomiesAren'tSoBadAfterAll!
#PleaseDoTovarichiInsteadOfMe!!


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I heard State and Justice have filed lawsuits to force ISIS to hire more LGBT Jihadists...Like their grievance with Putin.
I didn't check if their tweets were LGBT friendly.

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Comrade Kobayashi, welcome to the Kollective. Grab your shovel, keep your beets tended, and respect our womyn-folk...you won't have any problems...

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[quote="I thought to myself "YIKES!!" when Tovarichi"]Comrade Kobayashi, welcome to the Kollective. Grab your shovel, keep your beets tended, and respect our womyn-folk...you won't have any problems...[/quote]

Looks like Captain Craptek has got himself a major problem!!!!!

I wonder who is next?!
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Please remember Kobayashi, I am big-boned... not much flesh... oh and welcome indeed!

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Comrade Putout wrote:[quote="I thought to myself "YIKES!!" when Tovarichi"]Comrade Kobayashi, welcome to the Kollective. Grab your shovel, keep your beets tended, and respect our womyn-folk...you won't have any problems...

Please remember Kobayashi, I am big-boned... not much flesh... oh and welcome indeed!
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[/quote]

What an outrage!!!!! I thought all those advertisements you sent out were true. Now I will need to change a few things in the internet just to make them truthful. Starting with Marx's best 10000. You have slipped a few ranks just for that comment alone.

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Islam is Peace.
Islam is Tolerant.
Islam founded America.

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