Islamic State's War on Women vs. Republican War on Women

It has come to our attention that the Islamic State has issued a brochure directing the faithful how to correctly capture and manhandle female sex slaves. The brochure mentions nothing as misogynistic as keeping women in binders, so the recommended methods can't be nearly as hateful and cruel as the Republican War on Women.

By definition, the Religion of Peace can't wage wars. So we should really say that it rather wages Peace on Women. Verily, these pious believers only seek Peace of Ass. Perhaps, a more precise definition of their faith would then be "the Religion of Peace of Ass."

Times of India reports:

ISIS publishes female sex slave handbook

The pamphlets handed out by IS militants in Mosul, Iraq, entitled, "Questions and Answers on Taking Captives and Slaves" answers in clear-cut question and answer format certain questions regarding female slavery, the CNN reported.

Here are some samples of questions that were asked and answers given. Translation for the text was done by Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI)

Q: "Can all unbelieving women be taken captive?"
A: "There is no dispute among the scholars that it is permissible to capture unbelieving women [i.e. any non-Muslim woman]."

Q: "Can one have intercourse with a female captive?"
A: "It is permissible to have sexual intercourse with the female captive. Allah the almighty said: '[Successful are the believers] who guard their chastity, except from their wives or [the captives and slaves] that their right hands possess, for then they are free from blame [Koran 23:5-6]'."

This question and its answer lays the groundwork for the legality of female sex slaves and further explains what kind of sex can be had.

"If she is a virgin, he [her master] can have intercourse with her immediately," reads the pamphlet.

"However, if she isn't, her uterus must be purified [first]... " The pamphlet, however, does not explain how to purify the uterus.

More questions and answers:

Q: "Is it permissible to have intercourse with a female slave who has not reached puberty?"
A: "It is permissible to have intercourse with the female slave who hasn't reached puberty if she is fit for intercourse; however if she is not fit for intercourse, then it is enough to enjoy her without intercourse."

In all, the 27 questions and answers take a systematic look at sexual slavery and answer a variety of questions. Questions regarding sleeping with two sisters and buying and selling of slaves are also answered in the pamphlet.
 

By golly, they thought up algebra and all that stuff, they don't miss a trick!
NASA has truly gotten off our Mooslimic comrades a bit prematurely, but I expect a happy ending for all...
 

Has anybody asked FLATUS's opinion on this? That should be a hoot.
 

 

Ivan the Stakhanovets

By golly, they thought up algebra and all that stuff, they don't miss a trick!

Indeed, their slaves must turn many tricks.
 

Moochelle must be a guy since she is not wearing a burka in Saudi Arabia, no?
 

 

Pяog Oй: Al-Salaam Aleiqum!!! Our Muslim brothers do a dance for their victory in the war on womynzzz!! Prog Off


 

Comrade Oogie Boogie

Pяog Oй: Al-Salaam Aleiqum!!! Our Muslim brothers do a dance for their victory in the war on womynzzz!! Prog Off

Wow! I didn't know Pete Townsend was Muslim.
 

Comrade Oogie Boogie

Pяog Oй: Al-Salaam Aleiqum!!! Our Muslim brothers do a dance for their victory in the war on womynzzz!! Prog Off


Our Mooslim brothers have finally progressed into the 1960's era of sensitivity training sessions. What's next, disco dancing?
 

Jimmy Carter's Iranian policies, and nuclear engineering.