Anthology of Obama Quotes

Only $49.95! A bargain in the current economic climate!

Printed in a size that easily fits into pocket or purse, this book is an anthology of quotations borrowed from Barack Obama's speeches and writings. POCKET OBAMA serves as a reminder of the amazing power of oratory and the remarkable ability of this man to move people with his words. His superb and captivating oratory style has earned comparisons to John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King, and this historic collection presents words that catapulted his remarkable rise to the American Presidency. It is an unofficial requirement for every citizen to own, to read, and to carry this book at all times.
Includes themes of democracy, politics, war, terrorism, race, community, jurisprudence, faith, personal responsibility, national identity, and above all, his hoped-for vision of a new America. POCKET OBAMA is a portable, everyday primer for readers who want to examine the substance of his thought and reflect on the next great chapter in the American story.

Again, as with the Bottle of Hope, I am at a loss for words. What could I possibly add to this?

Comrades, if this keeps up, I won't have a job left at The People's Cube. The Party is thinking up this stuff before I do. Then again, is it not the function of The Party to do all the thinking for us?

Can Comrade Meow sue for infringing on his intellectual property?

Seriously though, I just twitched.

The History Company wrote:It is an unofficial requirement for every citizen to own, to read, and to carry this book at all times.

Wow. We really, really need to get busy and take back Congress and put a check on these people.

Commissarka Pinkie:

There is no way that all of the gaffes that Obama made during his presidentail campaign would fit into that little book! Does it at least come with a magnifying glass so that I can read it? I don't make those same mistakes he made in the future. Does it have an accompanying memory card that will plug into my Blackberry or I-Pod so that his words will display like a teleprompter?

Ah, Dear Leader's "Little Red Book" in blue. Comrade Mao would approve, considering that here in America it was necessary to hide our agenda by claiming the color "blue" as our banner. A brilliant reversal of reality.

Afterall, it's not our fault that the color "red" was made into a pejorative by our rightwing foes. If being a "Red" is seen as some kind of crime, then let us project that criminal color on the conservatives.

Turnabout is always fair game.

Yes, the Ministry of Sanctimonius Messengers (MSM) did an excellent job in turning around the whole Red/Blue scheme in 2000. Before, Blue was associated with NATO, and red the colors of the Revolutionaries.

Keep the masses confused.

I must have one to add to my library of "extremely thin books"...

- The Complete List of Honest Chicago Politicians
- You Know? The Wit and Wisdom of Caroline Kennedy
- Keeping Corporate Costs Under Control by Former Merrill Lynch Chairman John Thain
- Self-Employed Person's Guide to Individual Income Taxes by Timothy Geithner
- The Art of Making a Decision by NY Gov David Patterson
- Why I'm Qualified for the Senate by Al Franken
- How Karl Marx Changed the World for the Better
- Benefits of Government Intervention in the Economy
- Calm, Unemotional, Rational Leadership by Nancy Pelosi
- Beneficial Policies from the World's Communist and Socialist Leaders
- Keeping Proper Perspective by Chris Matthews
- Principles of Modern Corporate Finance by GM Chainman Rick Waggoner
- The Ethics of a Senator by Chris Dodd

Many are anxious to know what is in this little book. What are the inspiring Obama quotes? How will these quotes pay my mortgage? Did Obama really promise me a new car?

For your thoughtful meditations, a small sample. May these Lincolnesque words of wisdom whet your appetite for more.

"On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong."

"Why can't I just eat my waffle?"

"Let me be absolutely clear. Israel is a strong friend of Israel's. It will be a strong friend of Israel's under a McCain...administration. It will be a strong friend of Israel's under an Obama administration. So that policy is not going to change."

"This isn't my victory, this is your victory."

"Come on! I just answered, like, eight questions."

This continues the confusion, as <a href="> has single books available for only $5.95. (Sadly, they are presently out of stock.) The price Comradess Pinkie cited was the cost for a 10-pack. Now, my cell does not have 9 other members (I am a Party of one!), so I only require one for myself. It would be most glorious to have the wise quotes of Chairman Obama collected in a handy booklet, ready for sharing at a moment's notice with my fellow workers. I shall carry it next to my shovel!

It's blue! Blue!!!

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Shouldn't it be red?

Opiate of the People wrote:I must have one to add to my library of "extremely thin books"...

- The Complete List of Honest Chicago Politicians
- You Know? The Wit and Wisdom of Caroline Kennedy
- Keeping Corporate Costs Under Control by Former Merrill Lynch Chairman John Thain
- Self-Employed Person's Guide to Individual Income Taxes by Timothy Geithner
- The Art of Making a Decision by NY Gov David Patterson
- Why I'm Qualified for the Senate by Al Franken
- How Karl Marx Changed the World for the Better
- Benefits of Government Intervention in the Economy
- Calm, Unemotional, Rational Leadership by Nancy Pelosi
- Beneficial Policies from the World's Communist and Socialist Leaders
- Keeping Proper Perspective by Chris Matthews
- Principles of Modern Corporate Finance by GM Chainman Rick Waggoner
- The Ethics of a Senator by Chris Dodd

Are we speaking of extremely thin books, or books that should be thin? With a little inflationary rhetoric injected, you could puff up these 5-page wonders into something that rivals The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich.

And Comrade Halliburton, I have one more to add to your collection of golden words from the Anointed One:

"I won."

IronyCurtain, BigFurHat, and other PS (or GIMP) gurus, here's an image you all can play with:

We must plead with Bill Ayers Lord Obama to write a new, apolitical book for the travel buffs among his worshipers: "Best Places to Visit in Each of the 57 States"

Comrade Meatshield wrote:This continues the confusion, as <a href="> has single books available for only $5.95. (Sadly, they are presently out of stock.) The price Comradess Pinkie cited was the cost for a 10-pack. Now, my cell does not have 9 other members (I am a Party of one!), so I only require one for myself. It would be most glorious to have the wise quotes of Chairman Obama collected in a handy booklet, ready for sharing at a moment's notice with my fellow workers. I shall carry it next to my shovel!

OK, I see that now, my mistake. The History Company's ad is very confusing; it looked to me as if they meant there were only 10 copies available at $49.95 each (no doubt to create a demand). So from there you can only buy them in packs of 10.

And then what? Give them as gifts? Party-favors? Prizes? Sell them or hand them out on the street corner?

Are they available with gilt-edged pages? Can I get my name embossed on it?

And will there eventually be different editions? The Chain-Reference Pocket Obama with maps and concordance; the Children's Pocket Obama, Women's Pocket Obama, Sports Pocket Obama? How about the James Brown version to make you feel good?

Oh, I know what I could do with all those extra copies. I can get a little sidekick and travel the South targeting recent widows. "I'm looking for a Mr. Ivan Betinov? Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am, though it must be comforting to know that The Party, at least, has his brain to remember him by. Well, perhaps you can have something now to remember him by, too. It seems that shortly before he made his gallant sacrifice for The Party, he ordered this Pocket Obama with his name embossed on it. Of course, he only gave me a token deposit, times bein' what they are, so it's not completely paid for. And seein' as how it's already been personalized, I'm afraid it can't be returned. Only $49.95, ma'am. Such a small price to pay for words that are so priceless as well as comforting, dontcha think?"

Nice try, Pinkie, but I will leave no widow. There's only one love in this comrade's heart, and that's the Party and the Obama it serves. Okay. So that means there are two loves: the Party and the Obama it serves. And his lovely wife, who always looks likes she's just bitten into a cat turd and thinks she may like the flavor but she isn't really sure. These three things: the Party, Obama, his wife. And economic stimulus plans. Right. Four things.

Opiate of the People wrote:We must plead with Bill Ayers Lord Obama to write a new, apolitical book for the travel buffs among his worshipers: "Best Places to Visit in Each of the 57 States"

Commissarka Pinkie wrote: And will there eventually be different editions? The Chain-Reference Pocket Obama with maps and concordance; the Children's Pocket Obama, Women's Pocket Obama, Sports Pocket Obama? How about the James Brown version to make you feel good?

I'm a huge fan of the KJV and of history, so I hope the 1611 facsimile is available soon.

Ivan Betinov wrote:Nice try, Pinkie, but I will leave no widow. There's only one love in this comrade's heart, and that's the Party and the Obama it serves. Okay. So that means there are two loves: the Party and the Obama it serves. And his lovely wife, who always looks likes she's just bitten into a cat turd and thinks she may like the flavor but she isn't really sure. These three things: the Party, Obama, his wife. And economic stimulus plans. Right. Four things.

Any word on the nice red uniforms, or are we going with blue?

Komissar Blogunov wrote:I'm a huge fan of the KJV and of history, so I hope the 1611 facsimile is available soon.

Why should you Amerikkkans be the only ones so blessed? Equality for ALL party members, internationally!

Therefore, I put in my petition for a Luther version for my fellow Teutonic brethren, a Christian III version for our Dano-Norwegian faithful, a Gustav Vasa for the Swedish faction, a Statenvertaling version for our Dutch comrades (we can put them in the top drawers of their hourly-rate rooms), an Olivetan version for the French Mitgenossen (with complementary pine-tree air freshener), and a Reina-Valera version for all the hispanic revolucionarios worldwide!

I would volunteer my resources as the People's Proletarian Pimp^tm, but handling such sacred materials would best be undertaken by a politically purer office.

Doh! There I am, making comparatives again. O wise Marshal Pupovich, is there such a thing as a politically purer office?

I just got a shiver down my spine after reading the unofficial requirement part.

Holy crap,this obama worship is getting on my nerves.





Cone off/


I'll take fifty,Pinkie....I'd like to pass them out on street corners to hookers. I think that reading the words of the messiah will help get them off the crack and meth that has damaged their lives. At the very least,they could read it while they're bored,in between jobs.