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It's not a credit "downgrade", it's a MORAL UPGRADE!

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Marshal Pupovich -- never missing a moment to dump more dirt on America's shallow grave -- has announced earlier tonight that S&P has downgraded the US's credit to the modest AA+ rating. Marshal, we are humbled by your timeliness in delivering this joyous news to the collective and I am sure Comrade Red Square is upping your rations as we speak.

So what does this all mean? Should the Party be nervous about the coming 2012 election now that we have thoroughly ruined America's economic prestige? Answer: ABSOLUTELY NOT.

This is an opportunity, comrades. This is an opportunity to explain to the American people that losing an ‘A' from our AAA rating is an exercise in global economic justice. In losing that single ‘A', mind you, we are in effect loaning that ‘A' to a needier nation -- say, North Korea, for example. Now North Korea can afford to borrow more money from China in order to feed its already prosperous and happy people thanks to our self-inflicted ethical economic loss. It is fairness, and that's a good thing!

Allow me to elaborate further, comrades. You see, all the leading Harvard-educated economist agree that there are only so many A's in the world and just too many nations in need of those A's in order to have a good rating. America -- being the greedy whore nation that it is -- sought to monopolize these A's for its own imperial purposes (war for oil, armies, tax cuts, etc. etc.) while denying other morally superior nations (North Korea) the economic right to possess one of those coveted American A's. President Obama, sensing the world's suffering through his supernatural leadership abilities, sought to correct these wrongs by damaging the US economy in order to save the world and fairly redistribute the A's.
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See! President Obama is saving the world economy by totally destroying the US economy! This is why the world loves Obama and why Teabaggers utterly hate him -- President Obama thinks globally and not locally like some boorish middle-class turd in flyover country. President Obama killed our AAA rating for our imperial sins against the world and is thus strengthening our position in the world through progressive moral superiority. Those of us who read celebrated America-basher Fareed Zakaria would call this *smart power* in action. Smart power is a good thing, write that down.

So what does America do now after being declared the most ethical loser? We spend, comrades. We spend trillions of dollars in new stimulus in order to create the jobs laid off middle-aged white collared workers need the most -- infrastructure projects!



You heard me correctly; it is high time we get Mom, Dad -- Hell, even Grandma and Grandpa! -- out there in the sun building dams, bridges, high-speed railroad, and whatever else the political class can benefit from (Hey, pal -- two hours from my Georgetown townhouse to my Manhattan penthouse via high-speed rail sounds pretty good to me!) We need to do the *big* things again just like in FDR's day!

Comrades, we need to build massive concrete monuments on the backs of tubby former real estate agents named Betty! We need Don from accounting or Pete our IT guy out there hauling railroad ties! We even need the kids to get involved, too! I say we enlist the kids into a federally funded program that teaches them the values of back-breaking work and how to snitch on Mom and Dad when they say something nasty about the President's economic policies. Well, maybe we can go easy on the back-breaking work and just settle for the snitching (we wouldn't want the little squirts to have any self-initiative, now would we?) We need a New New Deal!



I'm leaning forward, Rachel!!!

This is an opportunity, comrades. Our ethical economic loss is an opportunity to correct our economy by borrowing, or printing, more needed cash in order to fund economy-boosting infrastructure projects that will make America great again. Credit ratings are not as important as having hydroelectric dams to show off as Maddow can attest. Hey, just ask the North Koreans how *awesome* it is to show off a dam -- why, the official state seal of North Korea happens to be a dam!

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American greatness, comrades, is best shown in how many dams we can build; how many welfare addicts we can parade; and how much indebtedness we can rack up on our Chinese issued charge cards. This is, above all, the progressive vision for America. America is not -- and should never become -- a free and prosperous nation is charge of its own destiny. America should not, and should never become, that "shining city on a hill" for all the world to admire. What we need is the subsidized city on a regulated hill. What we need is the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™ . Mr. Reagan, your dream is dead -- our guy Barry killed it and he did so with a smile (and a golf club, I'm told.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9Z-nN1 ... re=related
Last edited by Red Square on 8/7/2011, 1:50 am, edited 7 times in total.
Reason for editing this post: We needed some pearls of wisdom from Rachel Maddow added to the mix. Isn't he great?

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What a most glorious and most accurate post, Chairman P. The equal distribution of "A"s is a most necessary way to bring about social justice. Those of us who consider ourselves to be most progressive have long stated that America is a world bully and needed to be brought down to the same level of inefficiency and irrelevancy as our comrades in Europe. Dear Leader has taken us one step closer to equalizing America's lack of influence with that of the rest of the world. It's about damn time! But, our work is not yet finished. This is no time to celebrate, comrades. America still has two "AA"s, Unacceptable! We cannot rest until the the USA has a "C" or even "D" rating that is most equal to our third world neighbors to the south.Comrades. To my surprise I was pleased to see that Dear Leader was so on top of this "MORAL UPGRADE" that he already has a logo to celebrate America's decline.
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As part of the brilliant economic plan of our Dear Leader, this downgrade finally rids us of the problems that arise when mistaking the U.S. credit rating with the Auto Club.

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Krasnodar wrote:As part of the brilliant economic plan of our Dear Leader, this downgrade finally rids us of the problems that arise when mistaking the U.S. credit rating with the Auto Club.
Exactly! The fascist AAA organization needs to be brought down. Charging people monthly fees to unlock their vehicles of environmental destruction so they can further pollute the planet. AAA will even put "Big Oil" in your tank if you call them. How socially irresponsible is that?

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Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:President Obama thinks globally and not locally like some boorish middle-class turd in flyover country.
....who cling to their God and guns.

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Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:
Marshal Pupovich -- never missing a moment to dump more dirt on America's shallow grave -- has announced earlier tonight that S&P has downgraded the US's credit to the modest AA+ rating. Marshal, we are humbled by your timeliness in delivering this joyous news to the collective and I am sure Comrade Red Square is upping your rations as we speak.

Thank you Comrade Chairman for your kind words. Yes, as usual you have explained the joyous news in a depth that I was unable to grasp as quickly as you. The redistribution of the A to other needy but worthy states was too long in the making. No doubt the world will look on the USSA in a whole new light from now on. I know I was personally offended by the disdainful looks I would receive from non-US citizens, I could feel their anger at the way we have for too long stolen their resources with nothing to show for it.

BTW Comrade....er....you wouldn't know anything about a bunny suit would you?
https://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog/topic7589.html

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Excellent post Chairman! I was thinking of rewriting it into Obama's speech while keeping it under your name and adding illustrations, but it's late and I'm tired. Maybe tomorrow. Here are some graphic ideas.

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Yes it pleases me that our A is finally being shared and is filling those A holes in the more needy parts of the world. We must have less so that they have more is an idea worth fighting for. Our new economic model might be summed up this way: A sinking ship raises the water level.

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Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:You heard me correctly; it is high time we get Mom, Dad -- Hell, even Grandma and Grandpa! -- out there in the sun building dams, bridges, high-speed railroad, and whatever else the political class can benefit from...We need to do the *big* things again just like in FDR's day!

We need to build massive concrete monuments on the backs of tubby former real estate agents named Betty! We need Don from accounting or Pete our IT guy out there hauling railroad ties! We even need the kids to get involved, too! I say we enlist the kids into a federally funded program that teaches them the values of back-breaking work...I'm leaning forward, Rachel!!!
I'm Leaning Forward Chairman! You are most reeducated! I have seen the peasants who have listened to Rachel's call to action to "Lean Forward". When I see them I get thrills up my leg with social pride for their collective sacrifice.

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ThePeoplesComrade wrote:Yes it pleases me that our A is finally being shared and is filling those A holes in the more needy parts of the world. We must have less so that they have more is an idea worth fighting for. Our new economic model might be summed up this way: A sinking ship raises the water level.

From your lips to the Politburo's ears, comrade! Massive infrastructure projects built by unemployed middle-aged real estate agents and sacked middle-management is just what this country needs to get this ship sinking just a little bit faster. The collapse of America will raise the volume of the waters beneath and will thus lift all ships (the morally superior ships, like North Korea, Cuba, and Venezuela, of course.) President Obama understands this logic -- he did attend and graduate from Harvard Law School, after all.

A wise Latina once said that when stuck in a hole of debt the best solution -- the only solution! -- is to keep digging until we see our creditors, the Chinese, on the other side.

Tax - Spend - Repeat.


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Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:...Massive infrastructure projects built by unemployed middle-aged real estate agents and sacked middle-management is just what this country needs to get this ship sinking just a little bit faster.

Let's not forget the value of holes. There are many places where it may not be feasible to build massive infrastructure projects such as the fly over states. I mean really, you start building anything remotely useful in the fly over states, the bastions of so called "old fashioned values" and you could inadvertently cause unintended consequences. But dig a hole, fill a hole.... now that is an "old fashioned idea" that will never go out of style.

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I'm LEANING FORWARD because I'm inspired!


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Latest update:

1. As promised above, I have made a compilation of ideas expressed on this thread, added some of my own, and made a report in our editorial "Current Truth" section, with due credit. Special thanks to all the authors quoted - you know who you are!

Obama Fairly Redistributes America's AAA To More Deserving


2. Google News picked up this thread and another Punchenko's post today - S&P Hates Black People - which accounted for a spike in traffic and the high number of page views.


 
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