Comrade Father "Prog" Theocritus ( The People's Political Officer & Dry Cleaning Specialist)
has made it known to the Collective that his personal abode is, in fact, a cave.

I must admit, that he always seems a step or two ahead of us unterprogs, knowing that the eventual goal of fellow liberals ( esp. the Bay Area ones) is to have us all live in such places. He, in his wisdom, has cut to the chase and selected his earthen home while the good sites are still available.

However, the costs of moving from his old dasha into his new one have left him a little low
as far as his assets are concerned.

So I was thinking to myself : " We should join hands collectively and offer paste-in decorations for this worthy prog's cave."

( And I mean " collectively " , as in all together....... not that voluntary hit-or-miss crap that happened as to helping Leninka with her pig, Hillary Rannygazoo Elsa Lipstick. )

So, thank you for your worthy and esteemed attention,
Krasnodar ( fabricator of truth and vagabond of the outer parts )

At least he isn't alone.

You can bet your bottom ruble that she ain't sharing any of her lobster.
Speaking of which....... How, exactly, did she take over the only chair in his cave ?

Even money says she's writing a " to do " list for Theo. He certainly looks jazzed about his new house guest, doesn't he ?!

Are there no Government union park rangers to control the scavenging predatory and onivorous beasts of the forest??? If Theo gets too close to the donut buffet, he could be in serious danger!

Aww, but look at her, for the first time in her life she looks proud of nature... or maybe she just killed an antelope with her bare fangs.


And that cave needs the velvet painting of the dogs playing poker...

Party improved.

What is a cave without Batboy ...and his friend B. Hussein Obatma!!

[attachment=0]batboy.jpg[/attachment]

Reminds me of a Pelosi fundraiser.

I'd bid my last 2 beet rations to attend one of the legendary high level cave PARTIES! People's Business Meetings with the revered Father Prog and the who's who of the elitist selfless leaders of progdom. OMG -2DIE4.

Oh cool! You brought some of those $16-each muffins from Eric Holder's caterer.

You can bet Holder's on my Sh't List for using a non-party approved caterer(me)! If I'm unavailable (and for dear Father Prog, I'm always available), then the Commodore Snoogie should fill in. And what's wrong with $16.00 dollar muffins? Have you ever tasted one?

Comrade Shovel, we simply MUST receive invites for the party People's Business and Strategy Meeting!

Father Prog, where do we apply? Should we bring our beet rations with us?

Che Gourmet wrote:You can bet Holder's on my Sh't List for using a non-party approved caterer(me)! If I'm unavailable (and for dear Father Prog, I'm always available), then the Commodore Snoogie should fill in. And what's wrong with $16.00 dollar muffins? Have you ever tasted one?

Now the proles want in on the action. Time for some of that good 'ole Che social justice, eh...

If that prole is lucky, he might get the day-old muffins, for only $8. You know how stingy....err...charitable our DOJ chief can be. But said prole shouldn't be selling the muffins, anyway. Unless, he's a not-for-profit, government approved, entity?? Where's his proper license? His insurance certificate? His DBA?


OH CRAP! Now you've got me steamin', Comrade Shovel! First I lose the catering job (Theo, what's up with that homie?), then this capitalistic opportunist (spits and picks up his meat cleaver) gets the notion that he can pursue illegal activities like selling the muffins? Why this is outrageous! I demand the DOH and the FDA and ......hurls his cleaver at the ducking, shaking, crying kitchen prole trying to get out the door...

Dear Che.... I know your upset about this muffin situation. Rightfully so. But I, Krasnodar, may be able to at least lighten your burden when you post on the Cube.
Per example: You wrote " Unless, he's a not-for-profit, government approved, entity?? "

You only need to mention the word " government ". It is common knowledge that our leaders don't have a clue about " turning a profit ", let alone efficiently run anything else.

Government means non-profit ( except for those who are governing .....
It's one of those " more equal things"..... the proles wouldn't understand. )

That simple fact explains why socialism is so popular in D.C.

Why be concerned with effective management when you can just print more money or even steal it from those who aren't smart enough to know how to spend it anyway?

In summation Che, just write " government ". We'll understand.

El Gourmet hasn't had his kitchen temper this elevated since that truckload of "domestic" caviar from Nebraska was delivered for the Politbureau Winter Ball...
As FLATUS would proclaim, "all this over a muffin...pass the butter."

I have the perfect accessory for Father Prog's Cave:


You are her hero Father Prog. She worships you and wants to have your babies. Please give her a chance.

Phone...click.. "Message delivered Janeane. You owe me big time. Yeah, yeah, I'll let you know how he responds. Ok, you too."

The things I do for the Party...

Justa minute, I have an addition.





There ya go.

Achmed doesn't like to share.

The State provides for us, anticipating every need it thinks is necessary.( I sure hope they put toilet paper on that list. )
Perhaps Bruno can keep Nancy busy.........

Comrade Krasnodor,

Does this cave come up to all EPA, OSHA, Department of Fish and Wildlife, Department of Interior, and all other rules and regulations pertaining to such habitat? Just wondered.

Leninka..... it is of no concern.
Theo called in a favor and got a waiver from the President.
That's how you get things done in Chicago ..... ah .... I mean Washington.

Between you and me, do you really think Theo's place could pass an EPA inspection with Nancy " hanging around " like that ? Not to mention that the CDC's been called out twice to the cave because of complaints about Bruno .

Wait! Wait! Wait! You progs are having fun about my cave? Why wasn't I invited to the party?

Oh, I see. You're snarking about ME behind my back, that's it. I don't get it. Here I am, a humble prog, doing nothing all day but smelling my own farts in a Waterford wineglass, and you're poking fun at me.

You don't know how hard it is to be Father Prog. All this self-righteousness is a heavy load, you know. I bear the burdens of the world on my shoulders. That is the burdens which were revealed to me from my Superheterodyne Phased-antenna-array tin-foil hat at 7 AM this morning when Laika, Noble Space Dog, beamed down the latest Current Truth™ so that I could have my talking points of the day to projectile-vomit out of my mouth any time that I could.

(An existential question: projectile-vomit or projectile-shit. That is the question. Whether is nobler... Have you seen the episode of South Park where Cartman learns to eat with his ass and crap with his mouth? This was based on Chris Matthews, whose leg-tingles about Obama are really repressed urges to hunch the leg of Dear Baby Barry Bama, PBUH--these days that's Poverty Be Unto Him and us all.)

I am astonished that you soon-to-be-eliminated comrades know the roster of my guests at my Summer Cave. As opposed to wintering at the Rancho de Rio Grande. Dear Comrade Janeanne Gawdawfulho has been there many times; I cringe when she's at the Rancho but at the cave, she's great. When she gets drunk--well, let's be honest; no one has seen her sober yet--she stumbles and her leg hair is smoothing down the rock walls.

Bat Boy of NOTW is a frequent guest; I don't have the heart to chuck him out. Listen to me comrades: if you have a choice between hosting His Reverence, Algore, Primate of the First Church of Climatology, who defines moonbat, and Bat Boy, I recommend Bat Boy. He may have lots of teeth but the Goracle is so boring that the water in the cave stops dripping. I swear, those caves took millions of years to make and he spent the night here and the stalagmites and stalactites both regressed in size back to May 5, 1818, the birthday of Dear Karl Marx, the enabler of this, the most glorious march into total control over others and making sure that nothing that happens is our problem but someone else's, who must be punished for reality failing to take notice of our GoodIntentions™.Because Nothing Is Our Fault™. Remember that, comrades: as the world burns, it burns because we didn't completely screw it up even more.

We are the homeopathic economists. A little of our medicine is sickening; a lot is fatal. And so let's double down. And be good progs and take out anything which might be bigger than we are, like this horrible experiment in freedom and wealth called AmeriKKKa.

Because we're bigger than that. Dear Baby Barry Bama came to me in a dream and told me that.

"Father Prog, you know I do what I do because even though I'm not that bright, and I'm a hand puppet for communists, since, as Joe Biden said, I clean up good, and so it only figures that I think that the world was created the second that I was born. Which means that reality must bend to me. I'm so glad that you're joining me in this complete immiseration I'm foisting on the world, because down deep inside I'm just barely smart enough to realize that if I weren't an attractive black man, I'd be sociology lecturer in a junior college in California. Based on my experience of course, but that's why we must destroy any qualifications which are not political."

I regret to say that I no longer play host to Senate Majority Leader Reid. This being a cave, and since Bat Boy sleeps in a coffin, I have allowed other vampires to put their coffins in the cave. Cass Sunstein, for example, and whenever Nanski Peloski needs some "me" time, I turn on the VOR over the cave and she flies in on her broom. She's one classy woman; she rides the broom with bristles to the front. That's how she scoops up things with them.

Nanski's coffin is here, along with a 10,000-year supply of Botox for her. She wanted to put it in the 10,000 clock that Steve Bezos is making perhaps 100 miles away but things associated with Nanski, sadly, tend to warp reality and the machinists found that with her Botox around, pi really was equal to three but no circle ever closed.

So I have her and her Botox.

I also let some other vampires into the cave After all, the vampire is nothing but a socialist who has let his fangs come out of the closet. So we are brothers, blood brothers, whether red or green, and with Obamacare we GET THE RED TOO, and it's only mete that they be given a place to avoid the light of day.

For after all, the thing that a Made Prog fears most is light. And if you are actually exposed to the lethal rays of light, then blame the light.

I know many pigsties which have done very well blaming the light. First and foremost is the Department of Education.

I forgot to mention. Harry Reid is no longer welcome because his voice so scares the vampires that they bolt out of the coffins into the sunlight. If I hadn't thrown a blanket over Geithner, he'd have burst into flames.

VAMPIRES!?!


Be very careful comrades, these creatures are vicious, vile, and like hot dogs.


Excuse me, I must make a trip to the blood bank now.

Comrade Krasnodor,

Your ...ahem...explanation of "Not-For-Profit" (NPs) is not synonymus with "government"! These NP's are allowed by the government to exist, at the whim of the State. This is why there are so many regulations and special IRS agents assigned to audit the organizations that are granted this special status. The government must constantly oversee these entities because they do not pay their fair share of taxes! The IRS must be forever vigilant to ascertain that indeed, these NP's are operating "For the Common Good" ™ . I, personally do not believe that churches should fall into this murky category, as we all know that the State is our true recognized religion. But, unfortunately, NP's are still allowed this status, until The World of Next Tuesday ™ arrives; when we will wipe out these NP's, there will be no exceptions. Every organization, corporation and business will pay their Fair Share ™ of taxes.

Well Che, seeing as how you're the one with the AK, everything you have told me must be true.

Oh....by the way..... what DOES a $16 muffin taste like ?
I'm used to the $ .59 variety at WallyWorld.