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Joe Stalin - Enemy Video Definition Update

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Comrades, this file was just sent to me - please update your enemy video definitions accordingly.


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Wow, you put some work in that video comrade! Did you still have time to fulfill your beet shoveling quota's? Tripleplusgood!

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Minitrue wrote:Wow, you put some work in that video comrade! Did you still have time to fulfill your beet shoveling quota's? Tripleplusgood!

He doesn't shovel beets anymore, and neither do I, we're both part of a new Party experiment called Beet Offsets. Basically, you forego some rations, but you don't have to shovel beets! It was hard at first not being able to drink beet vodka all the time, but now I've got it to where I can make a bottle last a week. If you think you could cope with the ration restrictions, then I thoroughly recommend the program.

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Comrade Did-I-Actually-Publicly-Admit-That-And-What-Was-I-Thinking Stierlitz wrote:He doesn't shovel beets anymore, and neither do I, we're both part of a new Party experiment called Beet Offsets. Basically, you forego some rations, but you don't have to shovel beets! It was hard at first not being able to drink beet vodka all the time, but now I've got it to where I can make a bottle last a week. If you think you could cope with the ration restrictions, then I thoroughly recommend the program.

Comrade Stierlitz,

Congratulations on training your body to subsist on lower rations. As a reward for your hard work and dedication, The Party will now lower your rations further. Just imagine how good you will feel when you acclimate to this even lower caloric intake.

And thank you for allowing us to use you as a guinea pig, as we scientifically determine just how little a human being can subsist on. When you have attained our ultimate goal in ration restrictions, The Party will reward your family by allowing them to dig your grave. But you'll be an absolute champ! And you picked the perfect time of year to join our study... The first group's families had to dig their graves in frozen ground in the dead of winter.

Comrade Stierlitz, we salute you!
SMO

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Minitrue wrote:Wow, you put some work in that video comrade! Did you still have time to fulfill your beet shoveling quota's? Tripleplusgood!

While Comrade Stierlitz is correct about the new program, which I reluctantly agreed to (as I love beet shoveling) and while the enemy videos are accurate secret recordings of our inner political activism - keep in mind that these videos contain information that could be dangerous to our cause.

We believe that these videos are being captured by a device similar to the one that Comrade Lev Termen developed. I'm sure you know of this, it is popularly known as the Great Seal Bug - aka The Thing. As terrifying as those sound to the average prol, it is now terrifying us because we can not seem to find this enemy spy device. We are not sure if they are spying only on us, or the entire global network of political power merchants. We are still investigating.

If anyone has an idea about how to locate the enemy spy device, we would be most interested in your collective inputs.

Your comments are duly noted and have been recorded.

Joe.


 
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