John Effing Kerry: The Masterbaiter of Cause and Effect

10/19/2015, 1:03 pm

Bait and Switch: This Administration's MO.

Kerry: Climate Change a Contributing Factor in Syrian Conflict

John Effing Kerry, displaying his masterful knowledge of the principle of “Cause and Effect” (the reason for the “Effing” middle name, although others would say this is because of his expertise in French, which he learned while serving in Vietnam, or his being an actual “mof*cker). Take your pick.

Secretary of State John Kerry said Saturday that climate change was a contributing factor in the Syrian civil war, alluding to a study last spring that linked drought-driven urbanization to the conflict that began in 2011.

“It is not a coincidence that immediately prior to the civil war in Syria, the country experienced the worst drought on record,” he said in a speech at the Milan Expo 2015 in Italy.

Non, non, non, the Syrian Conflict has nothing to do with the arming of our enemies and absolutely nothing to do with Benghazi. Non, it's Climate Change. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Fait attention, Comrades!

10/19/2015, 5:40 pm

Fresh off of a movie set playing Lurch in the Adams family remake 5, comrade Kerry said that global warming added to the Syrian problem. He said that the sudden heat actually thawed out some parts of Russian brains that have never been really used before and they decided they wanted to play in world politics. It is said that Comrade Putin. when confronted with a warming wind, broke into a Russian version of "I can see clearly, now, the wind has changed". Comrade Putin suddenly realized comrade Obama was a putz and would do nothing if he entered full force into Syria. Ah....the things that warmth will cause.

10/19/2015, 9:16 pm

sovietskayakaputnik wrote:Fresh off of a movie set playing Lurch in the Adams family remake 5, comrade Kerry said that global warming added to the Syrian problem. He said that the sudden heat actually thawed out some parts of Russian brains that have never been really used before and they decided they wanted to play in world politics. It is said that Comrade Putin. when confronted with a warming wind, broke into a Russian version of [highlight=#ffff00]"I can see clearly, now, the wind has changed".[/highlight] Comrade Putin suddenly realized comrade Obama was a putz and would do nothing if he entered full force into Syria. Ah....the things that warmth will cause.

This post is to inform you that I'm going to steal this line and use it as often as possible.

Good one, Comrade sovietskayakaputnik! (the rest of your post is most equal, as well) Thanks!

10/19/2015, 9:52 pm

I think somebody broke the wind of change. Something doesn't smell right.

10/19/2015, 10:04 pm

"It's no coincidence that the Syrian problem was preceded by a drought. I'm not saying there is any connection, but if it smells and looks like a fish?"

I wonder if Comrade Putin has put 2 and 2 together just like King Obama (PBUH) and John F'in Kerry?

10/19/2015, 10:18 pm

Comrade KKK,

As usual, you always come up with a new slant on things. I never would have thought the “effing” part of Kerry's name could possibly mean “FART”

I feel the updraft now and, well, I just can't thank you enough. Your post is most uplifting!

10/19/2015, 10:19 pm

Hold up, hold up, we're still taking advice from Herman Munster? I mean, he's a Komissar and all, but YUCK! The guy has a forehead the size of a skyscraper, and the wig clearly isn't "him".

But, as the saying goes, an ugly clock can only be looked at twice a day or something like that. In this case Johnny here is right. We must tax all industries that produce any pollution at a rate of 90% so that we may bring peace. And we should ban every car in the middle east. And definitely kick out some republican politicians so that there's less hot air in the world. And world implementation of Kommunism would definitely help. Y'know, I feel another Government Agency coming on! We'll call it the Cube Communism Commitee, or CCC, and we'll hunt down Kapitalists and burn them on a wood hammer and sickle!

And no wonder he's a masterbaiter; if you look like Herman Munster you ain't gonna be getting any anytime soon. Give this poor man some astroglide and some Hustler or Penthouse mags, and for Lenin's sake would somebody please tell him the bad news about Playboy?

10/19/2015, 10:22 pm

10/19/2015, 10:37 pm

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:Hold up, hold up, we're still taking advice from Herman Munster? I mean, he's a Komissar and all, but YUCK! The guy has a forehead the size of a skyscraper, and the wig clearly isn't "him".

But, as the saying goes, an ugly clock can only be looked at twice a day or something like that. In this case Johnny here is right. We must tax all industries that produce any pollution at a rate of 90% so that we may bring peace. And we should ban every car in the middle east. And definitely kick out some republican politicians so that there's less hot air in the world. And world implementation of Kommunism would definitely help. Y'know, I feel another Government Agency coming on! We'll call it the Cube Communism Commitee, or CCC, and we'll hunt down Kapitalists and burn them on a wood hammer and sickle!

And no wonder he's a masterbaiter; if you look like Herman Munster you ain't gonna be getting any anytime soon. Give this poor man some astroglide and some Hustler or Penthouse mags, and for Lenin's sake would somebody please tell him [highlight=#ffff00]the bad news about Playboy?[/highlight]

No, I can't do it, Comrade Bull. I just can't break it to him. He will fold like the envelope he is. Can't do it. BUT! If YOU can, I'll support you 110%!

10/20/2015, 12:02 am

Secretary of State John Kerry said Saturday that climate change was a contributing factor in the Syrian civil war, alluding to [highlight=#ffff00]a study last spring that linked [/highlight][highlight=#FFFF00]drought-driven urbanization to the conflict[/highlight] that began in 2011.

This does not bode well for much of California...

10/20/2015, 1:19 am

Captain Craptek wrote:
Secretary of State John Kerry said Saturday that climate change was a contributing factor in the Syrian civil war, alluding to [highlight=#ffff00]a study last spring that linked [/highlight][highlight=#FFFF00]drought-driven urbanization to the conflict[/highlight] that began in 2011.

This does not bode well for much of California...

Ha! I left California 5 years ago! I now live in the Midwest (Indiana) where all the hick, gun-grabbing haters live. I love these people. They're honest and loving of their fellow man. After having lived on both coasts, NY and CA, in addition to the northern coast of Chicago (Lake Michigan) where they want nothing to do with you if you can't "do something" for them, I'll take the Midwest any day of the week, especially days that end with "y"!

10/20/2015, 8:48 pm

Pamalinsky wrote: Ha! I left California 5 years ago! I now live in the Midwest (Indiana) where all the hick, gun-grabbing haters live. I love these people. They're honest and loving of their fellow man. After having lived on both coasts, NY and CA, in addition to the northern coast of Chicago (Lake Michigan) where they want nothing to do with you if you can't "do something" for them, I'll take the Midwest any day of the week, especially days that end with "y"!

[OFF]

---START JOKES---

5 years? You do realize that Californitis has a lifespan of 10 years, don't you? Don't worry though, this stuff'll get rid of it:

And I'm no doctor, but if I was I'd prescribe some deer meat and a 12 gauge for that case of Californitis you got.

---END JOKES---

So, you live in New York, California, Chicago, and you wind up in Indiana!? I would've expected the Dakotas or Montana. But, then again, If I lived in New York Shitty or HelLA and especially if I lived in Chicadon't I'd take anything I could get. Nice to see you've realized what millions of city people are completely oblivious to.

10/20/2015, 9:19 pm

Red Walrus jogged my memory when he wrote:

10/21/2015, 10:21 am

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:
Pamalinsky wrote: Ha! I left California 5 years ago! I now live in the Midwest (Indiana) where all the hick, gun-grabbing haters live. I love these people. They're honest and loving of their fellow man. After having lived on both coasts, NY and CA, in addition to the northern coast of Chicago (Lake Michigan) where they want nothing to do with you if you can't "do something" for them, I'll take the Midwest any day of the week, especially days that end with "y"!

[OFF]

---START JOKES---

5 years? You do realize that Californitis has a lifespan of 10 years, don't you? Don't worry though, this stuff'll get rid of it:

And I'm no doctor, but if I was I'd prescribe some deer meat and a 12 gauge for that case of Californitis you got.

---END JOKES---

So, you live in New York, California, Chicago, and you wind up in Indiana!? I would've expected the Dakotas or Montana. But, then again, If I lived in New York Shitty or HelLA and especially if I lived in Chicadon't I'd take anything I could get. Nice to see you've realized what millions of city people are completely oblivious to.

Comrade Bull,

While living in NYC, a co-worker and I went (after work) to a bar called Peartree's near UN Plaza, where Truman Capote lived. Lo and behold, there he was! Parked at the bar.

I couldn't pass up the opportunity to meet him. So, I approached him from behind and gently said, “Excuse me, but aren't you John Wayne?” He immediately got the joke by saying, “Not in this lifetime” and asked me to join him and bought me a glass of wine. We chatted for about 1/2 an hour.

Truman is noted for saying, and I paraphrase, “For every year you live in California you lose an IQ point.”

Funny thing is, when you move away from California, wherever that is, as long as it isn't NYC or Chitcago, you gain IQ points exponentially! (Says me.)

Edit: Forgot to mention that we hugged when we parted company.

10/21/2015, 11:23 am

Truman Capote famous quotes:

“It's a scientific fact that if you stay in California you lose one point of your IQ every year”
“The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to dress up for it”
“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”
“To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it's about, but the inner music that words make.”

10/21/2015, 12:55 pm

A musical metaphor for politics today:

He's laughing with another girl
And playing with another heart
Placing high stakes, making hearts ache
He's loved in seven languages
Jewel box life diamond nights and ruby lights, high in the sky
Heaven help him, when he falls
Diamond life, lover boy
He move in space with minimum waste and maximum joy
City lights and business nights
When you require streetcar desire for higher heights

No need to ask
He's a smooth operator
Smooth operator, smooth operator
Smooth operator

10/21/2015, 1:26 pm

The rich should pay more!

“Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me. They possess and enjoy early, and it does something to them, makes them soft where we are hard, and cynical where we are trustful, in a way that, unless you were born rich, it is very difficult to understand. They think, deep in their hearts, that they are better than we are because we had to discover the compensations and refuges of life for ourselves. Even when they enter deep into our world or sink below us, they still think that they are better than we
are. They are different. ”

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Edit: I tried to make this unbold, to no avail! This just shows how relentless the rich prevail against us!

10/29/2015, 2:49 pm

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:
Pamalinsky wrote: Ha! I left California 5 years ago! I now live in the Midwest (Indiana) where all the hick, gun-grabbing haters live. I love these people. They're honest and loving of their fellow man. After having lived on both coasts, NY and CA, in addition to the northern coast of Chicago (Lake Michigan) where they want nothing to do with you if you can't "do something" for them, I'll take the Midwest any day of the week, especially days that end with "y"!

[OFF]

---START JOKES---

5 years? You do realize that Californitis has a lifespan of 10 years, don't you? Don't worry though, this stuff'll get rid of it:

And I'm no doctor, but if I was I'd prescribe some deer meat and a 12 gauge for that case of Californitis you got.

---END JOKES---

[highlight=#ffff00]So, you live in New York, California, Chicago, and you wind up in Indiana!? I would've expected the Dakotas or Montana. But, then again, If I lived in New York Shitty or HelLA and especially if I lived in Chicadon't I'd take anything I could get. Nice to see you've realized what millions of city people are completely oblivious to.[/highlight]

I forgot to mention, Comrade Stierlitz, while broaching the subject of my living on both coasts to my midwest friends regarding the so-called “sophistication” of the left and right coasts, yes, even in Chicago, a mid-west state, they said they didn't want what the two-coast left wanted. In fact, they thought they were quite silly and unwise, lacking common sense. They didn't want to have anything to do with their purported “sophistication.” They laughed at it and were amused by its pretense.

There's plenty of wealth in the midwest. Plenty! For the most part, they don't use it control others. That's why the midwest is wealthy!

A friend of mine, who still lives in Los Angeles, mentioned this at a party to a true lib. He went apoplectic! He couldn't reply. Instead of saying, “Well, they are just too stupid to understand what we want. They are hicks and haters, what do you expect? “ Nope, he just went apoplectic.

BTW, I was born, but not raised in Chicago. Don't tell anyone, OK?

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