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JStreet lobbies for removal of Egypt's pyramids

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CAIRO, EGYPT--A Jewish-American advocacy group called JStreet™ is calling for the halting of American taxpayer dollars to Egypt until the monuments erected to their former slaveholders have been destroyed and removed from history books. JStreet™ claims that the pyramids and sphinx, among other monuments, were forcibly built by their enslaved ancestors to honor their Egyptian slave-masters.

This comes in the wake of recent calls by the Atlanta, Georgia chapter of the NAACP ™ for the state government to sand-blast Stone Mountain, which features a relief sculpture of Confederate figures Stonewall Jackson, Robert E. Lee, and Jefferson Davis. Local chapter president Richard Rose says, “It is time for Georgia and other Southern states to end the glorification of slavery and white supremacy, paid for and maintained, with the taxes of all its citizens.”

Hank Johnson, U.S. Representative for Georgia's 4th congressional district (who famously feared that the island of Guam would "become so dangerously overpopulated that it would tip over and capsize"), joined the chorus of calls to eliminate this monument to the Confederacy, asking if we should "blast" them off the face of the mountain.

Fearing that it will be seen by its constituents as less passionate for Jewish Americans than the NAACP™ is for Colored People™, JStreet™ is demanding that monuments and history books be changed to reflect the history that should have been, rather than the messy, dirty, ugly one that actually was. However, the NAACP™, who generally represents the interests of the Democrat Party™ has much more of a dog in this fight, since they were the ones doing all the slave-holding, discriminating, and Jim Crow Law enforcement.

JStreet™ finds itself among strange bedfellows on this one, as ISIS™ (known to the Obama Administration as the "JV Team") has also expressed its desire to see the destruction of ancient Egyptian monuments, albeit for different reasons than JStreet™ has offered. It is the contention of Islamic leaders that the ancient Egyptian structures do not glorify their deity, nor his prophet, due to their being built centuries before their religion was born. The monuments are an inconvenient self-evidence that causes some open-minded Muslims to call into question whether Allah created man, or vice-versa... a dilemma that most Islamic scholars would rather avoid altogether (much like Dr. Zaius in the Planet of the Apes).

The common thread between all these groups, is that mankind has had a history of oppression. It is up to the loudest voices in the modern world to decide how much should be remembered, and how much should be erased. Because as someone once said, those who have no recollection of history cannot possibly be accused of repeating it. Or something like that.


 
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